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Amyane

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 5:01 am


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:45 am


Alas, you have not complied with the rules. I'm gonna lock it and when I open it again it's gonna go in the... erm... work in progress subforum so keep a look out.

Queeny
Captain


Merenwen99
Crew

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:25 pm


Thank you for making your critiques.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 7:31 am


@: Merewen and Queeny. I'm so confused.. @__@ I critiqued again anyways, but I had already done three critiques. Do you have to do it every so often or something?

Amyane


Merenwen99
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:22 pm


Thank you for letting us know that you didn't understand. Before every piece of writing you post (short stories, new chapters, poetry, prose, etc.) except for story games or rps (I think), you need to post three new critiques.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 12:41 pm


I have to say, this piece is really good. I like how you described the peaceful perfect setting and then created the character's personality to completely trash it. I also like the way that Ambrynn was so afraid of being chased only to find Bobby who is obviously her friend/boyfriend. The piece is well written and interesting to read.

The second to last sentence in the second paragraph says "defiantly." I think you mean definately.

In the paragraph before Crack, you say "I assured my self I was fine- thought . . . " I think you mean "though."

Overall, you did very nicely. I hope to read more of this.

Merenwen99
Crew


Amyane

PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:44 pm


Merenwen973
I have to say, this piece is really good. I like how you described the peaceful perfect setting and then created the character's personality to completely trash it. I also like the way that Ambrynn was so afraid of being chased only to find Bobby who is obviously her friend/boyfriend. The piece is well written and interesting to read.

The second to last sentence in the second paragraph says "defiantly." I think you mean definately.

In the paragraph before Crack, you say "I assured my self I was fine- thought . . . " I think you mean "though."

Overall, you did very nicely. I hope to read more of this.

That made me really happy and fuzzy inside. XDD

About the 'defiantly' thing. I have a problem with spelling definately, and the way I spell it my computer auto-corrects it to 'defiantly'. Stupid MS Word. D: Thank you for the typo corrections. -fixes-

Thanks again. <33
PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 7:46 am


Woah yeah. I love... Much better than my beginning xD I think I need to re-think mine.. Eep...

Psychotic Maniacal Sanity

Chatty Pumpkin

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Amyane

PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:34 am


cyberwitch-2006
Woah yeah. I love... Much better than my beginning xD I think I need to re-think mine.. Eep...

surprised Thanks. You re-write your's and I cleave your head off. mad It was very well written. 3nodding
PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:35 pm


Uh okay.. I'd like to keep my head thank you...

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Amyane

PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:15 pm


cyberwitch-2006
Uh okay.. I'd like to keep my head thank you...

That's a good little girl. -pats-
PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:19 pm


You need to post up more! It's fantastic, really. <3

Psychotic Maniacal Sanity

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Amyane

PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:55 am


=D I will. I want a Queeny-critque though. Their critiques rock, and usually help me alot. heart
PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 6:53 am


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Amyane


Amyane

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 6:55 am


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