Welcome to Gaia! ::

The Random Story Posting Guild version 2.0

Back to Guilds

The guild that has everything creativity-oriented! 

Tags: contests, random, roleplaying, stories, writing 

Reply Poetry
Sweet Summer Days

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

blazestonefire656

PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 5:10 pm


The air is thick with heat, hotdogs, and hollaring.
Pitch, swing, miss.
Pitch, swing, miss.
Pitch, swing, slam.
That's Mikey, always showing off, building suspense.

Pitch, swing, miss.
Pitch, swing, miss.
Pitch, swing, strike three.
Bye Donny. Maybe next time.

Pitch, swing, miss.
Pitch, swing, grounder.
Raph, poor guy; just wants to get outta there.

Pitch, no swing.
Pitch, no swing.
Pitch, swing, smooth smack.
Leo, Mr. Planner, Mr. Leader. Always has to have the perfect pitch.

Finally, time for the star player. The one the whole crowd came to see.
The lone player stalks up to the plate, bat shouldered comfortably. A quick practice swing, then set for the throw.
The pitcher, anxious and nervous, fidgets with the ball, bracing himself for the worst.

Pitch, no swing. - The crowd's on the edge of their seats.
Pitch, swing, miss. - A collective gasp.
Pitch, swing, CRACK! The satisfying sound echoes through the stadium, sending the crowd over the top.
The player takes a triumphant trot around the bases.

Back to home. One, two, three points total, creating the winning score for the home team. You'd think they'd won the World Series with how much the fans were cheering, but it was thrilling nonetheless for our hometown heroes.
For our hometown hero.

What do ya know?
My sister, a hero.

---

Completed 3:30 am, 4/27/09.
© blazestonefire656



-----

I honestly have no idea where that came from. One minute I was thinking about basketball and the next I was writing this in a notebook.
Comments?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 12:13 am


THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!! i love it when a poem tells a story...is why i had to write in dugout brown. lol. as i read, i got geared up for the big play as well and silently, as in "in" my head, cheered for your sis as she got the homerun!!!...i'm lucky if it gets past the pitcher. lol.
and this was written during basketball?!....go to a hockey game and see what comes out on paper. teeheehee.

Dragons Willow


blazestonefire656

PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:10 am


Heh, thanks. I was actually thinking about one of roleplay characters, and her little sister. Normally I don't get much from her point of view, but it was actually kind of fun.
My train of thought was basically:

I'm tired. Sleep now.
...Why aren't I sleeping?!
I wanna go out and do something.
...Maybe basketball.
No, something more outside.
Baseball.
What if KC played baseball? (KC being my RPC.)
She'd kick everyone's butts.
I should totally write that down: KC kicks butt at baseball.
...I haven't thought about Willow in a while. (Willow being KC's sister.)
Terrific baseball player... Idolizing young sister... I've got it!

And... it kind of appeared on the page.

I guess I'm just happy to know it doesn't suck. Thanks for finally giving me some feedback.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:32 pm


it gives you an image of what it looks like. very good  

Love Toxic Kisses


Agorphia

8,950 Points
  • Citizen 200
  • Contributor 150
  • The Perfect Setup 150
PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:45 pm


¤::::: I knew it was Jim's house. "...Well, then why'd you do it?" :::::¤

I think I remember reading a poem similar to this one, with the Pitch, swing, ____ lines. Forget who it's by, though.

I like how you give each character a personality by how they swing.
It's also pretty unexpected that the hero is your sister. One would assume it would be yourself, at first.

The second sentence of the second to last stanza sounds too prose-y, though. It stops sounding like a poem for a bit.


¤::::: Because you asked me to. :::::¤
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 2:59 am


@ Fallen - Thankies! ^^

@ Agorphia - Really? I hope I didn't rip somebody off...
Heehee. It was fun to do (and having the personalities already in mind was certainly helpful). HEY! Twenty bonus points to anyone who can figure out who I based the characters off of! wink
That's what I figured, so I thought I'd throw in a twist. Keep you on your toes.
Yeah? >rereads< Oh. Whoops. I didn't realize. Thank you for pointing that out. >humble bow<

blazestonefire656


Agorphia

8,950 Points
  • Citizen 200
  • Contributor 150
  • The Perfect Setup 150
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:02 pm


¤::::: I knew it was Jim's house. "...Well, then why'd you do it?" :::::¤

Well, it's fine if it sounds like another poem but it's not on purpose. xD If it WAS on purpose, then it'd be a rip-off. xD
It's just coincidence otherwise. :3

No problem, my pleasure. xD


¤::::: Because you asked me to. :::::¤
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:04 pm


It took almost a year (almost, thankfully), but I finally have a better line.

Not quite the World Series, but close enough for our hometown heroes.


That actually wasn't the line I was going to write, but it slipped away at the last minute.
Still, that works pretty well, too.

...

Didja notice how much I like alliteration?!

Celestial Firestorm
Captain

Dapper Detective

12,950 Points
  • Tycoon 200
  • Mark Twain 100
  • Marathon 300
Reply
Poetry

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum