Well this is the very first story i've ever written that's not Fanfic. Please I'd like some help with it. I know I'm not very good with grammar or punctuation so any help would be great. I'm also unsure of what to call the story, so if you have any ideas that might suit the story please feel free to suggest. I'm mainly looking for what people think of the storyline more than anything, but punctuation, grammar and paragraphing help is also great biggrin Now, on with the story...

Twins Madelaine and Phoenix Davies were the best of friends, until they had a falling out and were split apart. Now four years later the twins meet up again. Will they be able to sort out their differences or will they lose each other forever?

Chapter 1

Phoenix laid on her bed in the middle of her room with her legs waving in the air. She had her headphones over her ears and she was humming along to the song as she flicked through her magazine. It was a hot summer day in California and all she could be bothered doing was lazing around the house.

She sighed, closed the magazine and threw it onto the floor before rolling over onto her back. As she rolled over she checked the time on her digital clock. 11.15 am.
“Man why does this place have to be so god dam boring.” She sighed again, took the headphones off and pushed herself up off the bed. It had been a long and boring summer and she had spent most of the time locked up in her bedroom, listening to music and reading magazines and lazing about. It wasn’t exactly the most productive summer she had ever had, and she was getting quite sick of being stuck inside.

“Phyllis are you in there?” There was a knock at the door.
“Yeah Andrew it’s open.” Phoenix replied. “And I told you to call me Phoenix.”
“Oh, I keep forgetting you changed your name.” The door creaked open and Andrew Davies stepped into view. “Would it kill you to call me Dad once in a while?”
“Did you want something?” Phoenix asked with a slight annoyance.
“Ah yeah I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight?”
“It depends. What do you want?”
“Well I’ve got a…friend coming around for dinner and he’d really like to meet you.” Andrew replied. “So I was hoping you would stick around for dinner tonight.”
“I guess so.” Phoenix sighed. “Its not like there’s anything better to do around here.”
“Great. I’ll let him know you’re going to be here.” Andrew smiled and left the room. Phoenix laid back down again an put the headphones back on.
“Its going to be a long day.” Phoenix closed her eyes and shoved a pillow over her face to block out the light.
________________________________________

Meanwhile in Canada…

“Three Mocha Lattes and a Vanilla Cherry Latte.” Madelaine called and peeled the order off of the booklet. She placed the order onto the counter and leaned into the kitchen.
“This’ll be the last order for the day.” Sasha, Madelaine’s boss called back from her position near the sink.
“Righto. I’ll stick the closed sign up then.” Madelaine smiled and rushed back into the main café area and started clearing tables.

Once the final customer had been served and had left the café, Madelaine closed the front door and pulled the latch across. She carried the remaining dirty dishes into the kitchen and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Wow I cant believe it. My last day is finally over. I think I’m going to cry.”
“Oh come on. I’m sure you wont miss this place too much.”
“Are you kidding? It’s been almost three years since I started working here.”
“Trust me when I say you wont miss it at all.’
“I’ll miss working with you.’ Madelaine smiled.
“Yeah but I bet you wont miss the massive piles of dishes we get stuck with at the end of the day.” Sasha laughed.
“Ah, the dishes.” Madelaine sighed and looked at the stack of plates and cups that had formed a rather large mountain by the sink.

“I suppose we should get started on them then?” Sasha suggested.
“Hmmm. That would be an idea.” Madelaine replied with a smirk, “I’ll rinse you can stack.”
“That’d be right, give me the hard job.”
“Hey it’s my last day. You could at least try and be sympathetic.”
“Like I said give it a week and you’ll be glad you’re out of here.” Sasha laughed.
“Why did I ever agree to working here in the first place?” she placed a pile of dishes into the sink and turned the taps on.
“Ah because you need to pay for your college education somehow.” Sasha replied. “That and you couldn’t say no to your best friend ever.”

Madelaine laughed and shook her head.
“And who says you’re my best friend?” She teased.
“Oh well if that’s the way you feel you’re fired!” Sasha poked her tongue out.
“I’m sure your mum would love that. How hard was it to find someone to fill this position before I came along?”
“I was only kidding.” Sasha laughed. “So, what are your plans for this evening?”
“Well I was actually planning on getting some packing done. I’ve got a lot of stuff to organise before I leave for California.” Madelaine replied.
“Boring!”
“Hey its something that needs to be done. My stuff isn’t just going to pack itself you know.”
“Well I say the packing can wait. This is your last week in Canada girl. Kick back and relax while you’ve got the chance. Trust me as soon as you start College next month you wont have time to do anything.”
“Well…I don’t know. I haven’t even started yet and I leave in four days.” Madelaine bit her bottom lip.

“Come on Maddie Moo. How long has it been since you went out and had some fun?”
“Well…” Madelaine looked over at Sasha who was pouting. “Please don’t use the puppy dog pout on me. You know it doesn’t work and you just look like a goofball.” She added with a laugh.
“Come on Maddie please? I am not going to let you leave town without at least coming out to Bailey’s one last time.” Sasha pleaded.
“Alright fine. Just let me go upstairs and get changed, then I’ll meet you outside.” Madelaine agreed reluctantly.
“Great. I’ll go finish locking up.” Sasha grinned and bounced off happily. Madelaine rolled her eyes, took off her apron and headed through the back door to the stairs.

So what does everyone think? Should I keep going? I have edited this before, but then my computer got stolen, so I lost what I had done. I will go over it again, but I'd just like some opinions on everything before I go ahead and change everything about it lol.