Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ok so I live in a hick town. A lot of people here have money, but it's still a hick town. We're a farming town in B.C, Canada and religion is semi-big here.

Anyways, I hang out in Ann's Room (the First Nations room) at school with about five to seven other people (a few people come and go) but three people always come in. They're me, Natalie and Adam. Now us three are pretty good friends and Natalie is one of the two closes people I have at school and I talk to her almost everyday but something feels off with them. It kinda feels like they want me to be straight.

Natalie is bisexual. Not the "I say I'm bisexual to get boys" kind but the "I like both boys and girls" type and Adam is "I'm straight but if I find the right guy..." type, so I know they don't think anything wrong about homosexuality. The thing is though, they never let me talk about girls. With Natalie it's always about guys. Which one is cute in TV/Movies/Books etc. and which ones at school are hot and with Adam, we just joke around and talk about the girl he likes. And I go along with it. I don't know anyone else out at my school (besides Natalie, who I did have a little crush on but that's gone) and don't point out who I think is cute at school a lot, so it's not a big deal that all I talk about is boys and such. And yeah, when I'm talking with Natalie I say, "yeah his cute" or, "I can see why someone would have sex with him," but it doesn't mean anything to me. Just because I like girls doesn't mean I don't have eyes. I can tell when someone's pretty, it isn't hard to figure out.

But Natalie is saying that I should go out with a guy. She's says thing like "I don't believe everyone is 100% gay or straight and I don't believe that you're 100% gay so you should go out with *insert name here*" and "just try it Melissa. You know you want to," to me all the time. And then there was that convo all three of us had. Adam asked is I've ever done anything with a guy and I said yeah, kissing when I was twelve and it didn't do anything for me. So Natalie said, "that's just because you were twelve. Do it again now. You'll like it" and Adam agreed with her.

All that plus the little things are confusing me. They say that they're all for homosexuality but do this to me. I don't know what to do about it. I've heard this so much that when I'm around them I just say yeah I'll try something with a guy just to get them off my back. It's hurting me and I don't know what to do about it. When I tell them that I don't want to be with a guy and that I'll never be with a guy, it feels wrong to me, they say that I just haven't found the right guy. Then they use what I say with Natalie about guys against me. They say if I can see that so and so is hot then I'm not totally gay.

I just don't know what to do with them. How do I tell them that I'm gay, I like girls, I'm always going to like girls and it feels unnatural for me even to think about guys like that? How do I get them to stop saying things like that to me?