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 Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2005 2:30 am
he sat alone. the rain beating against his face mingling with his tears. the wind whipped roun the street corner, rampaging through the park. the large oak tree swayed dangerously in the wind. and the only thought in his mind was why. why would she do that. why did she not love him. why did she feel that way about him. why was he crying. suddenly there was a crash. it all went black. the next thing that poor man saw, felt was pure light, pure bliss. he no longer felt hurt. his heart was heal. and then he realised... he was dead...
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 6:39 am
Very good. Only death is overrated. Also what do you have aganist capital letters?
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 6:14 pm
It's an interesting piece, but I think it would be better if you spaced it out by putting some sentences on a new line and by capitalizing some of the words. Also, some of the periods could be turned into commas to give the piece a bit more meaning. Overall, it's pretty good!
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