INTERLUDE 1: RETCON CASUALITIES & BRUTHASCAST this interlude:
Storm - Ororo Munroe
Troia - Donna Troy
Dr. Light - Kimiyo Hoshi Today I'd like to talk about the event known as 'M-Day' and the general fallout of mutants, quality, and tolerance within the internet.
Don't we have to introduce ourselves first?
Really.
Alright, here we go. But do you really think they have an hour?
&
If they're reading this - then yes.
pirate Hullo then, everyone. My name is Ororo Munroe, and I've been the mostly-on-sometimes-off leader of the X-Men. I was created by Len Wein and Dave Cockrum, but Chris Claremont was the man who really defined me and shot me through the top as the foremost African-American superheroine ever. He also has a mad hard-on for me, which is why I'm probably the character who's appeared in the book the most. Outside of Mr. Claremont, I'm generally handled pretty badly - Cartoons, and especially movies, withstanding. I'm generally one of the most recognizable X-Men -
EASILY, she means.
>> .....easily one of the most recognizable X-Men in the mass media. and Halle Berry kind of does look like me; which makes my heart hurt. Oh, and I can manipulate the weather, which correlates itself to manipulating the energies of stars itself.
She also knows really good dirty jokes.
It's true. Plus she's a big fan of South Park.
Gah! Don't tell!
She also has a habit of being kidnapped by evil kings and then having them fall in love with them.
How is that my fault? HOW?
You're special?
Oh you're one to talk. You're whole family was related BEFORE they married each other.
Yeah, she wins. That means you're next, Donna.
Fine fine. Hi, I'm Donna -
&
Hi~, Donna~~~.
Welcome to AA. Please leave your butt at the door.
What does that even mean?
Look, I'm allergic to artificial sweetners.
I thought that was psychological.
Either way, I'm crazy-
DONNA Troy. I'm a retcon casuality who was thankfully fixed by my super fanboy, Phil Jimenez. He also has a massive love for my older sister, Diana - A.K.A Wonder Woman. Long story short, I'm a mystical clone created from a fragment of Diana's soul who has lived a 1000 different tragic lives, and in this one I was an orphan saved from a burning building by the Titans of Myth to be raised as the successor of their gods. Then I was sent back to Earth, not remembering anything and I become a Teen Ti -
And I thought mine was long.
Condense! CONDENSE!!!!
domokun -TEEN TITAN, Wonder Girl, and tolerated d**k, Garth, Wally and Roy. Then I remembered my past with the gods, and gave up being Wonder Girl to become
. Meanwhile I got married, had a son, became powerless, became Green-Lantern-lite, lost my son and got divorced, dated a Green Lantern, broke up with one, had my - Yeah, anyways I'm a living connection to all the paralell universes that exist and I know have my 'parents' house, which is a Moon with a Greek-looking civilization called New Cronus. And then Infinite Crisis is coming....
Goddess, you have issues.
Maybe.
No, you really don't. You're probably the most stable of any of us, which is really odd.
Seriously. And by the way, are we totally acting like the VIEW or what?
Are you Lisa Ling? She was the best one. Then left.
I know! Now all we have is 'Want some cheesecake' Star Jones.
And with that, I introduce the classy Dr. Light. The fourth one. The heroic one, anyway.
Yes, I'm Dr. Light. I'm probably the most feminist empowered Japanese female that's ever existed - I have kids, divorced my husband despite marrying young, I changed my name because I didn't want people to recognize me for my gender but for my quality and merit, I -
I shoot first, ask questions later.
That was JUST with Starfire and Halo. And besides, look where not shooting has gotten me? I'm in the damn hospital!
Judd Winick?
Yeah. Herald's not happy.
He's still ALIVE?
Oh, Herald will live. It's just Judd Winick may die. ph34r
You are such a geek.
Right. So apparently I'm Buddhist, but all you really need to know is that I'm a huge leap forward for the feminist movement, but not for Japanese sterotypes. Though I am pretty cool.
And unpopular.
Look, just go on about how you divorced the X-Men.
Oooh~~~~, someone's mad~~
I'm not mad. I'm even.
I get it.
I don't!
Anyways, M-Day happened. Marvel has it out that they don't want to be completley tied to the X-Men, but they do want me to be the super Black icon.
You're a brutha?
No, that's T'Challa apparently. We're going to turn West Africa into Jamaica Sreet from the Bronx.
I thought you were from Harlem.
I was born there, yeah. Anyway, I'm off to Africa because I think it's unwise to squish all the mutants left in the world into one house. Time to be pro-active. My little protoje, Wind Dancer, was de-powered and completley sidelined into the role of cannon fodder/main character's girlfriend, when she was arguably the protagonist herself. Bad days for Storm.
Don't you want to bring up anything else?
She will later when I don't have to go to the bathroom.
Kk.... Yeah, and don't worry - Wolverine and other people will appear!
Like me, luv?
Yay, Betsy.
TO BE CONTINUED! TSUZUKU KTHX Next Episode: The one from last time!DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. All characters are owned by their respective companies. No money was made. I is poor. All smileys are credited to their original creators from Comix-Fan.
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