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 Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 10:46 pm
I'm miserable in reality, and can't stand it. I stay online just to read and reply to posts and feel some projection of being wanted around and happy. My real life. I'm a high school drop out who want his GED,but due to mistrust of the internet, won't do online courses. I live to far from anywhere to get a job. There may potentially be jobs across the highway but I'm afraid of walking across it because of irrational fear of being hit by all the cars that speed up and down it to the casinos. In reality, I feel like all I do is sit there and eat, drink, and breath. My persona of happiness and my obnoxious jokes is an elaborate and rather faulty disguise. My whole life for the past Two Years seems to be able to be pinned into the song 'Everyday is Exactly the Same' by Nine Inch Nails. Every happy thought I have is a fabrication made by my desperate mind to hope that I can find SOME sort of meaning in life. but in truth, in this house I live in, My grandma rarely talks to me, my sister hates me, her BF and I don't have much in common apart from video games and having male genitalia.I live in a neighborhood in the middle of fields with stereotypically ghetto black people fifteen miles from any potential opportunity for a job, about the only real happiness I get is when we go to the grocery store so I can see other people. I'm staight but almost 65% of the way into asexual.
Honestly I don't know why I'm posting this to be honest, I'm not looking for sympathy, maybe I'm just hoping someone out there will care. Maybe some of you will view this as incesant whining, but two years ago this wasnt the life I envisioned for myself when I was about to hit 18 -_-
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Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 2:20 am
Wow, thats pretty deep. how far is the supermarket? or is that far?
Tbh i dont really know what to say that isn't sympathy.
Either way hope thiungs work out better for you
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Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 7:20 am
Crimson Tearedrop
Wow, thats pretty deep. how far is the supermarket? or is that far?
Tbh i dont really know what to say that isn't sympathy.
Either way hope thiungs work out better for you
Ummmmm.Nearest supermarket I'm aware of is........roughlt 15 miles? then the next one is 2 miles ahead of it, then theres another about....maybe 5-6 miles from it? >__> My grandma moved here 5-6 years ago because this place is away from everything, which isn't how I operate. I LIKE to see civilization in the world ._.
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Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 6:19 pm
Hang in there, dude. It may sound cliche, but it's always darkest before the dawn.
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Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 6:24 pm
I'm glad you're posting about that.
Hmm.
Does thou have a car?
It'll make the whole job thing easier... x.o;
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Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 11:23 am
Grab a bike? not as fast as a car, but faster that walking. confused
you could always just leave town... room with a friend somewhere till you get on your feet.
and if you're tired of your everday mundane life... do something SPONTANIOUS!!! don't think about it, just do. no matter how random or crazy it is.... just don't get yourself killed >>
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LightninConventionMastery
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 12:08 am
Ruisu Serude Grab a bike? not as fast as a car, but faster that walking. confused
you could always just leave town... room with a friend somewhere till you get on your feet.
and if you're tired of your everday mundane life... do something SPONTANIOUS!!! don't think about it, just do. no matter how random or crazy it is.... just don't get yourself killed >> See thats just it, there are no sidewalks along the highway nearby and between a bike vs a semi I'd be deathly afraid .__. Ha, I've tried, but so far everyone I know either can't / won't board me .__. See thats just it. Theres nothing to DO here in my area .___.
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Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:30 pm
 I used to have friends in your situation, come and stay with me when I had my own place. You sound like your in a pretty suck situation, just don't give up. You may want to invest some time on the GED so maybe you can apply to college and get out of there. Just a thought.
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 12:15 pm
That sucks, I'd definitely help you out if I had money, a job, and apartment, and wasn't about to go to college, sorry, but just hang in there
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