Distro: xUbuntu 9.04, and what is in bold are the main points of the question and nothing but the question.
There -IS- a SWAP partition, just acronis removed the UUID for 70-90% of the computers when restoring it, and apparently wasn't designed to fix fstab(I don't blame it, really, it's targeted at windows mostly)
Here's the UUID: UUID=717b362f-0c96-4d13-8328-fe55666acbf1
That's been /dev/sda5 thus far on every machine I've gone in to edit manually, so I've just been replacing the UUID with /dev/sda5
Is it possible to make a script to perhaps make a UUID for the swap, apply that UUID, and replace either the old UUID or /dev/sda5 depending on which is used in fstab? (from me manually fixing some, and others not being fixed yet)

Also, all of these machines have the name Ram-Tux, at present the networking gear is refusing to admit the name changed since they were first put on the network a few years ago, when they all shipped with Windows 2k/98/NT 4.0, so it isn't a problem that they all have the same name, but this will be changing over to summer.
Is there a way to make a script to automatically rename them something like Ram-Tux(random number goes here), perhaps based off of the IP assigned when doing it?(It can be anything, but I figure that'd be a nice unique seed)

and on a finally note, is there a way to perhaps have all of them follow 1 set of instructions? My mind which tends to find ugly methods of doing things says "make a script that makes them check a networked share for another script to run" but I don't feel this would be the most secure of methods, and would have to be scheduled, and forgetting to replace the script with one that tells it not to do anything might be problematic, such as if I made a folding@home install script, and forgot to remove it, and not having safe-guards built into it might cause problems as it tries to reinstall every time it checks. And as for security, I'd probably be setting it to run as root, so anyone who could gain access to the thing giving the script out, every last machine would be compromised utterly, without these machines even questioning it.