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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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 Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:43 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:25 pm
Lo-oove what you added to this. It really makes you anticipate the rest of the story more. <3 Awesome, and keep up the work. ^^
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 11:24 pm
Thankyousomuch <3 And, you too I guess. I love yours soooo muuch! ^_^ I am soo majorly hyped 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:06 am
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:05 pm
Okies, even though only one person's posted fore the prologue, I'm hoping that a chapter with a little torture scene will lure you people to COMMENT? This place is really dead at thw moment, ne?
Well, here you go <3 Read on, and enjoy. Chapter one
It wasn't our fault; it was just meant to be
Dark hair sprawled across the creamy concrete floor. Smooth, velvety light skin. Deep, rich, scarlet lips. And a tiny, lithe form to match. Raine's breath came in long deep sighs as she slept. Her eyelids fluttered peacefully as her chest rose and fell slowly. A breeze played across her rosy cheeks, pulling at stray strands of the perfectly straight hair.
The warm air stirred autumn leaves around her, and the swirls of amber and orange quivered at her feet. Raine lay sleeping in the warm breeze, not noticing the scrutinizing eyes that fell on her.
A small voice broke the silence of the peaceful evening as it rippled across the open space.
"I think we should make her cry again." The voice belonged to a little girl of no more than five years old. Her pale silvery hair was pulled into pigtails and her dark skin shone in the morning sun.
"Kali's right. I think we should too. Last time Evadne tried to stop us, this time she won?t be so lucky." Another girl stood sniggering next to the young child. Her hair was also a pale shade of silver, almost white, and her skin the same dark, leather colour.
An older girl knelt down over Raine as she slept and whispered in her ear. Raine stirred a little and rolled onto her side. She muttered a few words louder, so that all the children gathered around could hear.
"Your mother's a whore, and your father is a traitor."
Kali and the other girl tittered and elbowed each other playfully.
"Ebony, where did you learn such words?" They both grabbed one of the older girl's hands and pulled her further down so they could whisper in her ears. Ebony gasped in good humour and laughed at their little jokes.
"Kali... Carey... That's no where near mean enough for her." She ran her hazy blue eyes over Raine and shook her head. "She doesn't belong here. And no matter how hard we try, she'll never go away?"
"We'll just have to try harder then." A boy of around Ebony's age stepped from behind her and tapped her shoulder gently. Ebony smiled up at him as he knelt down at her side. "Now then... What have we here? Playing with the Taurus again, eh?"
"Playing..." Ebony toyed with the word, rolling it around in her mind like a ball. "I guess the word playing could be used?" The boy put his arm around her and kissed her cheek softly.
"So, what are we going to do to her today? I thought perhaps we should take it up a notch." His piercing eyes glinted menacingly and her smiled.
"Indeed. Cal is right. Let's take it up a notch." Ebony nodded her head in approval and Kali began laughing again.
Cal stood up and Ebony followed him. Only fifteen, but both already looked much more mature than that. Stood together, the couple were a perfect match. Carey and Kali walked to step next to them and another little girl came to join them.
The five dark-skinned children stood in the courtyard huddled together, staring at Raine as she slept. Leaves blew across the cobblestones and the trees that surrounded a water feature were swept this way and that. The feature of the courtyard was the pond-like circle in the middle of the grass and cobbles. The water in it was a cloudy blue, just like the eyes of those that built it, and the rocky sides themselves were a very light shade of silver, almost metallic. There was no doubt that this was Aquarius territory.
When Raine's breathing faltered, and she opened one of her emerald eyes, the Aquarian children started giggling and pointing. Raine sat up off the concrete cautiously, waiting.
"Did your parents kick you out of the house again?" Sniggered Kali.
Raine shook her head. The tips of her long dark hair floated in the warm September wind.
"No." She lowered her head so that her hair was covering the sides of her face. "I just like it out here... That's all?" The last words were almost whispers, carried away by the wind.
"What was that, Earth-Girl?" Ebony was trying to keep a straight face, but failing miserably. "You like it out here?" Cal put his hand on Ebony's shoulder and both of them began laughing.
Raine just sat on the floor in silence. Humiliation was building up in her chest and the anger was overwhelming.
"Why do I have to be different? If I were the same as them, then they'd like me..." She thought.
Cal whispered something in Ebony's ear, and her face lightened up. Then, she bent over to tell Kali, Carey and the other girl what he had told her. All eyes brightened, and Raine grew worried.
"Raine. I've been thinking, you're not so different to us really. We've grown up together. Perhaps it's time we forget this childish game, and you join us. What do you think?" He stepped forward and stretched his arm out to help her up.
"I... Uh... I don't know what to say." Raine wasn't sure where all this was going, but she sure as hell didn't want to find out. Cal withdrew his hand when she didn?t take it.
"Aww, come on! Just a few tests, to make sure you'll fit in. That's all. Honest." Carey smiled at her, and Raine was convinced she really meant it.
"I think we should meet tonight. In the barn." A group nod, and it was decided.
"I... I don't really want to-"
"Of course you do! Don't be silly!" Kali turned around and waved at a woman stood in a doorway calling her name. She patted Raine's back in a friendly manner and ran off, shouting as she ran. "See you tonight if I can get outta the house! Mama wants me for breakfast!? Ebony and Cary waved and then turned back to Raine.
"So? What do you say?" Asked Cal, his eyes the colour of the sky above.
"Urm, okay." She nodded. After all, what harm could it do?
"Great! Meet tonight in the barn?"
"What time?" The little girl still next to Carey spoke up.
"I forgot about that Liss! Good job you're here. How about... 11?"
"Suits me." Ebony said in agreement.
"Okay?" Raine still wouldn?t look Ebony, Cal or his sister Liss in the eye. Carey was just a sweet little kid, but the others? In truth they scared her. They were taller, and always seemed much more mature. The couple were only a few months older than her, but it always seemed more.
Without saying anything more, the four Aquarians turned and headed towards their homes on the west side of the village. Raine sighed with relief and lay back down again. She didn?t know what made her sleep outside, under the doorway to the shop that her parents owned. The thatch roof let sunlight stream through and it played across the concrete floor outside the door. In the coming winter it would be impossible to sleep outside, so making the most of it, she'd been sleeping there and sneaking back home in time for breakfast. This time she knew she was late. But she didn't really care.
A few minutes later she sat up again and brushed her hair from her face. The sun was rising in the sky, and she decided she wanted to go home. She stood off the concrete and tidied her skirt up a little, running her hands along the seams and pleats in the simple white fabric. The material was soft to the touch but always reminded her that she was an outcast. All Aquarians received their new garments of adulthood at the age of twelve; Raine's parents hadn't allowed her to become a 'woman' because she was of the right heritage. She was Taurean and therefore, an outcast.
Raine hated being different. It wasn't that she looked different, or even felt different; she just hated how badly the other children treated her. They threw things at her, they laughed at her clothes and her hair and even the way her voice sounded. They teased her about her family, calling her mother a whore and her father a traitor. At first the little Raine had laughed along with the others, that was until she found out what they meant.
Then it wasn't so funny anymore.
She grimaced to herself as the memories slipped through her fingers like grains of sand lost across time. She didn't want to remember those things, not now. Not ever.
Slowly she picked her way across the broken cobbles in the courtyard and headed west, the way Ebony had gone with Cal and Liss. The houses on this side of the village were all made of the same silvery coloured brick as the water feature. The roof of each house was slightly different in same of height or even colour sometimes. The glass in each window was a different shade of tinted blue or silver. It was like each family was trying to be different despite their obvious similarities with those around them.
Raine headed to a small house in the centre of about five or six others. She could feel eyes on her back as she stepped onto her veranda and spun round to stare nastily at the woman who was sat opposite her house, shaking her head. The teenager spun on her heel, not thinking about the dark skinned, white haired woman behind her, and headed into the warmth of her house.
The house was dark compared to the dazzling morning sun outside, and Raine had to stop whilst taking her shoes off and stand with her eyes wide and searching until her vision returned. In front of her the living area was ghostly and uninhabited. The dark wood furniture and the dirty cotton blankets on top were perfectly set out. Thin films of dusty light filtered through the silver coloured window, highlighting the kitchen surface and the neatly set out table in the centre of the next room.
The roughly square living room was empty, with the exception of the furniture and threadbare furnishings. Raine looked around in silence, scanning the living room and the adjoining Kitchen for any signs of life. Nothing. She crept across the living room, careful to step over any books or toys.
In the kitchen the light was stronger, the windows only a slight shade of blue. The daylight played across the light, creamy tiled floor, warming it beneath her bare feet. She wiped absently at the counter. Her family hadn't eaten yet; the kitchen was too clean. Perhaps, she thought, perhaps they haven't gotten up yet...
Seeing the opportunity to sneak up to her bedroom without being seen, Raine slipped to the left of the kitchen and through the closed door. She eased the door shut again behind her and followed the long hallway to the back of the house. The deep red carpet was worn but soft beneath her feet. She smiled to herself, relieved that she had gotten that far without any trouble.
The electric lights on the wall were switched on, making Raine feel as though she was creeping through some kind of haunted house. The first door she passed was her sister Kenda's room. It was the biggest not including her parents?. Raine never could understand why none of the family had to share rooms. The house was small enough, yet all of the five Tempest children had their own space.
Kenda used to let Raine into her room when they were younger. They used to play 'cross-sticks' and 'hide and seek'. That had been until her parents told her that it was wrong, that Raine wasn't normal. Now the nineteen-year-old avoided Raine at all costs, she'd never been one to tease, but she wanted nothing to do with the youngest sibling in her family.
As she passed Kenda's room she leaned closer, to see if she could hear anything. The room was silent. Raine shrugged her shoulders and carried on down the hallway. Kenda had always been the deepest sleeper. The next door on the left was Wyatt's. Raine's older brother and twin sister Evadne had never gotten on well, he saw Raine as an outcast; a disgrace to the family. She couldn?t understand why he acted like that around her. She'd never hurt him, or his pride. Both he and Evadne had once shared a room, but the two fought like cat and dog over their views, neither admitting they were wrong.
Neither that room nor the one next to it belonging to Brooks Raine's other older brother seemed occupied. It was silent, and, come to think of it, the whole house was still. Like nobody was home. But somebody was nearly always home!
Panicked, Raine knocked on Evadne's door loudly, and shrunk back when the sound echoed down the hallway. Where was everybody?
Lastly, Raine came to the two doors at the end of the hallway. One was her parents' room; the other led to a set of stairs that led upwards to Raine's bedroom. Her sanctuary. She opened the door in a hurry, and slammed it behind her, as if some invisible being was hot on her heels. The sound of wood on wood jolted her wide-awake from her sleepy daze, and she looked around breathing deeply in relief.
The walls were painted a light shade of blue, just like all the other bedrooms were. Standard Aquarian decor, but Raine liked it. The colours were calming; at least, they were the best things she had. The bed that sat in the middle of the circular room was small, a cast off, just like everything else. A large window on the right looked out onto a grassy area, and unlike others throughout the house, the window had no colour or shade that obstructed the glorious sunlight from lighting the room.
Raine went and lay on the bed, curious. Why was the house empty? They never went out all together, apart from chur-
"Damn." Church. The family went to church in the village once a month to pray to the goddess Aradia. "Of all the times to go to church, they went on a Tuesday morning! Why?" Raine pleaded to herself. The ceiling above was a mocking mask of humility as she curled up into a ball on her side. The sunlight streamed onto her head and over the light bed covers she lay on.
Without knowing how much time had passed, Raine lay in the quiet and stillness of her bedroom, knowing that what was coming was surely going to the worst thing she had been through in years. The minutes soon turned to hours, but Raine lay still, watching the shadows change and dance across the wall in front of her eyes. How tired she was...
"RAINE!" Raine opened one emerald eye sleepily. She blinked twice trying to shake the tiredness away from her brain. Sleep paralysis fading, Raine sorted out her thoughts, she couldn't even remember falling asleep. The last things she could remember were the soft blue shadows floating dreamily around her head, and the brilliant sunlight pouring through the window-
"RAINE!" She jerked awake again and sat up in a hurry. The pounding footsteps on her stairs grew louder as she jumped off the bed and straightened out her dress.
The door burst open, and smashed against the wall leaving dark blue scratch marks in the paint. Stood in the doorway was a man, no older than thirty-five with silver/white hair and deep set turquoise eyes that threatened icy storms.
"Father?" Raine's meek voice barely crossed the angry silence, almost dying as it left her mouth. Her hands and arms were shaking uncontrollably.
"Raine. What day is it today?"
"Tuesday sir."
"And what date?"
"The second of the month."
"What is it that we do on this very special day?"
"Go to church sir."
"Oh, so you do know! Then why in Aradia's name were you not there?" Raine
shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. She knew there was going to be worse coming than just a severe lecture, there was nothing she could do but wait it out. Again. Not really listening to the words coming from her father's mouth, Raine closed her eyes; the volume of his voice echoed in the small room.
"And how dare you-" Silence. The teenager opened one eye cautiously, then the other one. Her father, Troy Tempest, was towering over her. His face was a mask of dark fury. She winced. Never before in her life had she seen him so angry! She felt that his deep voice would make the walls tremble, and that the piercing stare he held would burn into her very soul.
"Are you even listening to me? Do you even care?" She could see that it took all of his self-restraint to stop the urge to hit his daughter, beat her firmly.
"I do care papa! I do!" she wailed.
"Then why?"
"Because papa, because I don't see why I should go to your church when I can pray to Aradia on my own! I can pray on my own where people don?t judge me for who I am!?" Troy was furious.
"Judge you for who you are? Wake up child! Everybody is judged in this world, and just because you are different it does NOT give you the right to change all the rules!"
"Papa! Please! Don't do this!"
"Do what? Hmm?" His face darkened further and Raine whimpered. His next words were cold, full of malice and hatred, "Tell me this child. Who are you? Because you are not my daughter." Raine's heart missed a beat.
"Papa? I've done nothing to deserve this! I pray! I do! And I do try to keep in favour? It's just so hard! Do you think I enjoy being teased? D'you know what they call you and Mother??" Troy froze and Raine was almost in tears. She knew she had gone too far.
"What do they say? That I am a traitor? That you are a Taurus? Do they?" Raine nodded meekly. "I know they do! I'm not stupid! And you damn well deserve it!" Raine's pale cheeks were flushed a dark pink and were wet with tears now. She felt broken. How could he just disown her like that? She couldn't help the way she was born, or could she?
"What is it that I can do, papa? To redeem myself?" Her voice broke and she stepped back to steady herself on the cool metal bedpost.
"Stay here. You can keep yourself out of sight. Your mother is distraught, and your brothers speak your name with a curse. Just-" he raised a hand to halt her but she jumped back, banging into the bed in fright. She began to protest but was interrupted. "Just STAY!" He spun on his heel, his cold eyes unfocused as if he wished he would remember nothing of this room. The door slammed loudly behind him and Raine cringed.
Once her father's footsteps receded the house seemed very quiet. Raine stepped away from the bed and went to the window. Her face was ashen and her eyes were bright through the tears. She pressed her face against the cold glass in the window, letting the icy freshness soothe her mind, body and soul.
The teenager sat on the widow then, for some time, staring into the darkening sky. She felt trapped, like a bird needed freedom to fly. The window opened easily, letting in blasts of air that calmed her nerves. The evening air had turned chill, and she pulled her tiny cardigan tighter around her.
After a while of sitting, void of all emotions, Raine jumped down from the widow ledge, and took off her cardigan, night had begun to fall and the thin streams of moonlight spread across the bedclothes. She put her cardigan on the little table beside her bed, crawled under the covers and cried some more. She could hear her family downstairs, laughing and singing to the old piano that their mother played. She snuggled deeper under the fabric, it smelt of lavender and, roses? Soon the new tiredness overtook her and her eyes drifted sleepily closed.
A cold wind whipped through the blue room making Raine stir sleepily. She shivered in the cold and felt around for the bedclothes; they had fallen over the edge of the bed and she was having trouble getting them back. She sat up and shivered again, searching for the source of the draft.
"Damn window?" Her hair was rumpled and knotted from her bedridden day and her dress was just as bad, perhaps worse. She slid from the bed still shivering and grabbed her cardigan from the table. Anger still swelled in her chest as she thought of the events that day. She wasn't like them. And it wasn't ever going to happen... Unless- Ebony and Cal? They'd said something about being accepted. Maybe, just maybe this was her chance.
She put the soft cotton around her shoulders and sighed. If she was caught, she'd never be allowed outside again, but it was better to risk her freedom for acceptance right? She rubbed her hands over her tired eyes and brushed her hair from her face. She pulled an elastic band from the draw under the cheap wooden table and twisted her hair into a long thin braid down her back.
The moonlight was strong through the window, but it was a dark night. The air coming through the window was typical of a November night, and not at all like earlier that morning. Ready as she was ever going to be, Raine sighed again. Now, just to get out the house unnoticed.
There was no way of getting out of the window unharmed, not without knowing what she was doing. She crept out every night to sleep under the stars but still the feeling of doubt and the curious feeling of exhilaration swept her from her feet. Breathing heavy, she placed her right hand on the doorknob and the other hand on the frame, hoping to minimise creaking. The door opened with ease.
She moved out onto the staircase and slipped down them with no difficulty, though each step seemed to take a lifetime to complete. The moonlight behind her showing the way she stopped at the bottom of the stairs in silence, her breathing the only sound in the still and sleeping house. Nobody seemed away, but that didn't mean anything?
Raine opened the wooden door to the hallway in a similar fashion to before, this door made a hollow creeping sound that seemed to Raine to resound throughout the house but in actual fact was only a miniscule groan. The hallway was almost pitch black aside from the little light still coming from Raine's open bedroom door. She closed the door to behind herself and then stood in the darkness, waiting. No sounds other than her heartbeat and steady breathing sounded in the narrow hallway. Even next door in her parents? room there was utter silence.
"Hmm..." she breathed. Tiptoeing softly past each door made her heart skip many more than one beat, but she carried on going. If she was going to earn herself a life in that village, she was going to have to try hard.
Outside Evadne's door she paused. Evadne always stuck up for her. Always helped her in situations like that. Maybe...
No.
Evadne was still too much like their parents. She couldn?t be trusted. She was only two years older than Raine. Definitely not mature enough to know what was good for her. She took another deep breath, not knowing what was going to be ahead once she left this hallway. If she went back now, she could just go back to bed. Sleep, maybe things would be better in the morning?
Going back just wasn?t an option. Without another thought Raine rushed to the end of the hall, opened the door and practically ran to the front door. She paused by the little window that looked out on the village centre circle, looking outside she could just make out the barn across the way. With a quick nod to herself she was soon out of the house and into the freezing night air.
The air tightened her lungs, the cold going straight to her chest. She shivered, but welcomed the freedom. How quickly the weather had changed. To think only a day ago the night had been warm and breezy. Tonight there was no breeze, but a strong northerly wind that blustered around Raine and was even cool enough to chill her to the very bone. And gone was the warmth, the cold night was the sign of coming winter.
The moonlight light the centre circle a little, but the darkness felt like it was swallowing her whole. The four street lamps at each direction, north south, east and west cast out faint purple glows, which led the way to the barn.
Raine stood in the winds for a moment, her face tranquil, then she began to head for the barn. It was a large square shaped building with red brick walls and a thatched roof like nearly every other building in the village. The windows had been blacked out at some point in history before Raine had been born, they were impossible to see through, but had made the barn a perfect place for the tribe?s teenagers to hang out. Inside, the floor was still straw covered, but hadn?t served as an animal bed for as long as the windows had been black.
Raine reached the barn in under a minute, her face was flushed and her lips chafed from the blustering wind. When she stepped into the large room she was surprised at how warm it was. A fire crackled in the middle of the room, picking out the highlights of gold in the layers of soft hay on the floor. The fire twisted against a blackened metal grate, about knee high with spiked metal stripes pointing upwards, in effect holding the fire in.
She pulled the heavy wooden door shut behind her and sighed with relief. The whole atmosphere was warmer, cosier, even more relaxing than it had been at home. She looked around, and saw who had lit the fire. Seated in one corner of the barn, on a long metal bench, was Cal. At his side Ebony snuggled to his chest comfortably, purring softly. Raine smiled awkwardly at the couple and stepped away from the door.
At that moment she felt on odd sense of admiration and warmth for them both. They were going to accept her, going to take her in and maybe then her family would see, she wasn't all that different from them. She was from their precious Aquarian blood right?
This was the first time Raine had ever felt anything for these two people that wasn't anger, hatred or jealousy. And as she coughed quietly to let Cal know she had arrived, she thought it was quite a nice feeling to have.
Ebony moved away reluctantly from Cal as Raine came closer. She smiled a little, as if showing she didn?t really mind, then stood up and went to sit before the fire on another bench. Cal stood up casually, showing his hands into the pockets of his tight fitting trousers. He wore a tight black shirt too, something that if his parents saw him, he would be 'hung' for. Raine couldn't help but see why Ebony liked him, and why the two of them were such a perfect match. They fit together so well! Like two halves of a whole, both one on their own, but becoming a perfect one together.
"You said to come at eleven, I know it's a little early... But I didn't want to be late." She didn't share the real reason she had left, that she was uncomfortable at home, she was sure they wouldn?t understand.
"It's okay, we don't mind do we Ebb?" She turned from the fire, and smiled warmly.
"Not at all! Come and sit by the fire, it's cold out there." Raine couldn't believe her ears. The girl who had called her mother a whore since she could remember, had actually been extremely pleasant.
"Okay. Thank you." Cal went to sit next to Ebony and Raine followed, sitting opposite them both, across the fire.
"We're just going to wait until Liss, Bialy and Faye." Raine nodded. Bialy and Faye came from another large family of Aquarians who lived two streets away from Raine's house. They were both around her age, Faye being the oldest of the two and Bialy being the youngest in the family. They sometimes spent lots of time playing with Ebony and Cal, so tonight it made sense that they would be there.
The barn was cast into silence as each of the teenagers was cast into his or her own thoughts. Raine stared into the fire, the flames licking at the metal made her think of last winter when her brother Brooks had been playing with some of the other teenagers around his age, they'd lit a fire and one of them got badly hurt. Not Brooks though, he was too clever for that.
The minutes passed without any of the teens realising, all lost in deep thought. The loud crackling of the fire drowned out the wind outside. Cal absently picked up a long thin piece of metal, a poker, and thrust it into the fire sending sparks up into the air. The metal grate in which the fire burned was glowing a little from the heat, the hay and straw around it was pushed back to stop the barn catching alight.
Time passed quickly, as if the silence wasn't really there, more like each of them was on their own. Raine's eyes became used to the dim lighting from the flames and her ears became accustomed to the sounds of both fire and wind.
Just as Cal opened his mouth to break the silence, she could hear voices outside. Muffled by the buffeting winds and the roar of the fire she could just make out a girls voice, and two others that were undistinguishable. Cal closed his mouth and waited. Soon, the doors opened and strong winds forced themselves in through the narrow entrance.
Two girls about the same height entered, followed by a young boy. They were all wrapped warmly but were rosy cheeked and smiling.
"Hey Ebb, Cal! How's it going?" The boy shoved the door closed and walked up to Cal. He extended his hand, which Cal took, and the two clapped each other on the back. The two girls were both a little more reserved, the oldest, Faye approached Ebony and smiled. The two friends hugged and Faye perched beside her. Raine stayed seated, watching the curious actions of them all. Liss stayed pretty much next to the door until Cal told her t come and sit by the fire, and soon all five Aquarians were seated around the fire warming their hands. Raine sat apart from the others, purely out of old habit. She was so used to being pointed at, jeered at, and pushed out of houses and public places that the reaction came naturally.
"Right, we all know why we're here, correct?" All nodded. "Good. Now, Raine, I think we need to get to know you a little better before we can do anything. So how about telling us something about you? Anything." Raine thought for a moment then
spoke.
"Well, my full name's Raine Alanna Tempest, and I'm tired of being different. All my life I've been teased for who I am, and I can't help that. I was born this way, though I've wished a thousand times over that it hadn't been so. It'll be nice to be accepted. There's nothing really for me to tell you because I do nothing. I am not allowed to do anything. And all things that I do try to do end up with me either getting into trouble or getting more grief from family.
So I hope that you'll accept me, finally. I'm really not that bad." Cal smiled at her then spoke again.
"Well, you heard her. Let's do our part. Let's get to know each other." Ebony picked up on what Cal was saying, continuing.
"Yeah, how about we all go round one by one and introduce ourselves for the benefit of Raine. I think that'll work." They all nodded in unison and looked at Cal to start.
"Well, I'm Cal. But you already knew that. I'm fifteen and well" I always thought it was wrong to be different. I didn't realise that you didn't choose what you are, and I know that I've been wrong. That's why I want us to be friends. I want to set things right." Raine smiled at him. Next it was Ebony's turn.
"My name's Ebony, I'm fifteen like you. I?m going to have to apologise for all the hurt I've caused you over the years. You mother and father did nothing to ensure that you were Taurus. I was lying. I never liked you because you were different. You looked different and I guess I was jealous of your attitude towards things. You never complained when we teased you, and I respect that now. I'm sorry.' She nodded at Raine and smiled warmly, though behind the smile Raine could see she wasn't all there. For a second a view of all the pain she'd caused her swept through her mind, then was replaced by another voice when Bialy started to talk. His low voice was a whisper, only heard just above the fire.
"I'm Bialy, and I'm fifteen next year... So, I guess I'm still fourteen..." Everyone smiled at that, and Faye laughed. "Faye's my older sister, though she only a year older... She acts like my mother. Our papa says we look too alike. I resent that. I am not a girl..." Again everyone smiled. "I haven't really had much contact with you, Raine, because I didn't want to get involved. Now, I think we could be good friends. I'd like to see you laugh more."
"I'm Faye, and there isn't much for me to say that my brother hasn?t already made jokes with. So I?ll just say this; Raine, I know it's worn for us to have judged you before we knew you. My mother used to tell us stories of Taurus women eating their children and the men raping our villagers in the past. I thought you would be like I imagined them. But you're not. So... Sorry." Lastly it was Liss' turn. Everyone was silent, waiting for her to speak, but she didn't. Bialy nudged her and nodded, but she just looked into the fire.
"Liss. Say something." The voice was Cal's, low, and bringing Liss' eyes to his. She looked away from the fire and straight into his face without flinching.
"There's no point saying anything. You already know me well enough I think the quicker we initiate her, the better. Otherwise someone will find out we're here.' It seemed to Raine that Liss was truly afraid of what was going to happen.
"Initiate..." she wasn't sure what they were going to do, but it didn?t sound good. The question went unanswered, floating around the room waiting for someone to pluck it out of the air and speak the answer. Many looked at Cal, but it was Ebony whose voice could be heard.
"When we are accepted into the Aquarius clan at age twelve, they... brand us. It doesn?t hurt, but it's a sign that we are truly one of them." Cal nodded.
"See?" He lifted his shirt and there she could just make out a light shape, of scared
skin. Healed but visible for life.
"I see."
"But it's worth it. It shows us who we really are. You deserve it, if they won't do it, hen we can! Don't you see! This could be your one chance! If you have the sign, they couldn't do anything to you! You'd be one of us!" Raine thought about that. It could be her chance, her only chance. But, branding involved fire and hot metal. That really didn't sound like something she wanted to do on a Tuesday night.
"I don't know..."
"You can't back out now!" exclaimed Ebony and Faye together. They looked at each other and Ebony explained. "You've come this far, too far to go back. We want you to be like us! Think of all the fun we can have together. I promise it won't hurt." If Ebony had said it wouldn't hurt, then surely she would know. And she'd be okay.
"Okay... Let's do it."
"All right!" Bialy gave her a reassuring smile and Cal stood up. Gesturing for the others to follow.
"We've prepared it, so... Com'on Raine. Let's get it over with." He led the way, walking quickly away from the fire and towards the left wall of the barn. At first Raine couldn't see what he was doing, all she could tell was that he was leading them towards a bare wall. She could see that Faye and Bialy looked as confused as she felt. Liss just rolled her eyes. Ebony stepped up beside Cal and held out her hand, which he took.
When they reached the whitewashed wall Cal paused. Running his fingers along the smooth white paint, Raine saw what he saw. There was a slight indent, about six feet high and three feet wide. A door. Cal placed his hand in the centre of the rectangle and pushed firmly, one side of the door swung open and Faye laughed at Bialy's astonished face.
All six teenagers headed through the door one by one, Bialy closing the door quietly behind him. The room was another large square one, nowhere near as big as the barn itself, but the empty walls made it look bigger than it was. Raine looked around the room curiously; she'd never known that there was a door in the barn, and definitely not one that opened into another room. There we no windows in this room, but another fire was burning in the centre of the room like before. The flames cast shadows across the walls, dancing to some nonexistent music.
"Wow." Was all she could say.
"Yeah, bet you never seen this place before." Cal turned around and let go of Ebony's hand.
"No... I've never even heard of it!" Bialy grinned at her and winked.
"Okay, now if you go lie down of that bed thing over there..."Raine looked around the room and noticed a long metal beg with black sheets in the right corner, she hadn't even seen that when she?d entered because it was so shrouded in shadow.
"All right." She walked over to the bed and clambered up. She didn't want to lie down yet; she wanted to know what they were going to do. Faye and Bialy pulled up big armchairs from the side of the bed and sat down, half facing Raine and half facing the fire.
Ebony and Cal fumbled around with a bag that had been left if the opposite corner. They were both leant over the bag, pulling things out and whispering to each other excitedly. Bialy looked rather puzzled as to what they were doing.
"Do you have any idea what this involves?" She asked him.
"I don't know what they're doing, but I assume it'll be like the initiation we all went through." Raine nodded and they fell back into silence. She looked around the room again; there was something that was different than the other room. It was warmer in here, but that wasn't it... It wasn't until Cal and Ebony stood up that she actually realised what it was. The walls seemed to be a very light shade of pink nearer the floor.
"It's probably the light..." she thought, more to convince herself that nothing was wrong than to figure out why they were that colour.
"You're going to have to wear this." Cal said handing a black piece of material to her.
"What is it?" She turned it over in her hands; the long, narrow piece of material was smooth and silky under her tiny fingers and on each end a little strand of the black came off to form some kind of tying mechanism.
"It's a blindfold. I took it from my father?'s draw; he used it for all of his kids."
"Why do I have to wear a blindfold? It doesn't make any sense."
"You're not allowed to see what's happening." Replied Ebony.
"But why?" Raine asked, she just couldn't understand,
"Because, Raine, it's always been that way." Cal's voice was simple, matter-of-fact. There was no arguing.
"Okay."
"Now, put that on, then lie down." Raine did as she was told and held the blindfold over her eyes while somebody tied it. Her world was pitched into utter darkness as the softness covered the top half of her face. She felt someone, who she presumed was Ebony; push her gently back onto the bed so she was lying down.
Feeling quite tense she lay ridged. All she could hear was someone's heavy breathing, perhaps Cal or Bialy. She heard muffled whispers coming from Ebony and Faye, and then she felt something cold on her wrists.
She pushed her head back arching her back, but she still couldn?t see anything. There was something cool, very much like metal wrapped around her wrist and holding her arms to the bed.
"What's that?" She asked, a little frightened.
"Just a precaution, we don't want you to get hurt." Cal spoke softly, but she knew he was lying. She tried to move her feet away and protest, but they were already clasped to the bed as well.
"Don't! Let me go!"
"Why should we? You brought this on, like you father said you would. You don't deserve to be one of us." Ebony's icy voice froze Raine as she struggled, it made her think. What had her father said?
??Your mother is distraught, and your brothers speak your name with a curse??
"Did Wyatt put you up to this?" She was furious. "Did he?" She swung her head around violently, and yanked her arms, but there was little room to move. The cuffs around her wrist and the ones around her ankles were too far apart. She felt exposed, like they would cut her up without consideration.
"Wyatt" That daddy's boy? No." Faye sniggered.
"Then why are you doing this?"
"Because you don?t deserve to live among us. Every day, you?re there ruining our lives. Everything would be better without you here! My father beats me, just for sitting at the dinner table!" Faye's voice was no longer quiet and soft but almost a raucous screech.
"Faye is right. Our parents treat us badly just because they are afraid that we will turn out like you! You stupid little b***h." Ebony snarled at Raine and stared daggers, but Raine couldn't do anything to prevent what was about to happen, she couldn't even see!
"What are you going to do to me?"
"Shut up." The voice was Bialy's "And stop asking questions. We'll do what we want; you're here of your own free will, remember?" Raine shook her head in objection.
"I never wanted this! I just want to be accepted!"
"Accept this." Cal's voice was venomous, and crept into Raine's chest like deadly poison. Everything went silent as everyone stopped talking to watch Cal.
Raine squirmed under the handcuffs but they were too tight. She felt her dressed being pulled up a little higher and shivered. What was he going to do?
"Lie still." He ordered her, but she only squirmed more. "I said lie still!"
"No!" She felt his hand connect with her face and gasped. Her head ringing from the slap she screamed, but a hand clamped over her mouth.
"Shut up..." A voice breathed in her ear. "Shut up else you'll regret it." Raine closed her mouth quietly.
"Please..." She said softly. "I don't mean to be different..."
"I don't care." Cal leaned over her, breathing loudly and pulled her skirt up to her thighs. A searing pain shot up her leg and she yelped out from shock. The pain was immense like a burning sensation throughout her leg. The smell of burned flesh wafted up making Raine want to gag.
"Shut up, b***h. And hold still." This time Raine fought even harder against the cuffs, her head banging against the black silk cloth making her want to scream. She pulled her arms in and arched her back again.
"Let me go! Please! Don't!"
Silence. Then another streak of fiery hot pain dashed through her other leg, the pain in both now making her feel like she was wrapped in coils of burning twine. She fought harder but to no avail and ended up in more pain than before, but the blindfold had slid up her face, revealing half a picture.
Cal was leaning over her, Ebony at his side. Both were smiled at each other holding a poker together. The tip of the metal poker was orange and pink with heat, glowing white nearest the end. Faye stood up from the armchair and said something, which Raine couldn't hear of the raging beats of her thudding heart.
Next thing she knew, her vision had become full and the firelight poured into her green eyes, blinding her. Another stab of fiery pain sent her head back again in pain. She tried kicking her legs another time, but only resulted in jarring her broken and scarred skin. Looking down, Raine could she what they'd done to her. Her legs were both lined with two pink and purple scars.
"Please... No more..." Cal handed the poker to Ebony and she smiled at Raine wickedly. She closed her eyes, waiting for the next attack on her throbbing legs. The next one came suddenly, and Raine could feel her skin fizzle and blister under the searing heat.
She screamed for a second time and her mouth was once again clamped shut. She opened her eyes in panic; her eyes rolling around in her skull exposed the whiteness as she thrashed about more violently each time.
Faye sniggered with each scream and unsuccessful escape attempt, and her brother sat in the armchair watching with unnatural interest. Raine had given up trying to reason with them, she knew it was fruitless. But what came next made her eyes wide and her mouth open.
Cal approached her again, holding in his hands a long thin piece of metal much like the poker, but on the end there wasn't the pointed end of the poker there was a shape. A symbol. In blind fear and panic Raine began to writhe faster, yanking at her arms and pulling her legs towards her. She felt one of the cuffs become loose, and she swung her right arm at Cal from the side. The metal caught him of his left cheek and he cursed loudly.
"Whore!" He swore and lunged at her with the new poker. Raine screeched louder than she?d ever done before and heaved at her left arm to free it. She felt Cal climb up onto the bed and hold her down, his sat straddling her with his hand free hand holding her right one. He pulled her hand over so he could hold them both together and snarled.
"Let me GO!" She spat in his face and shouted out in fury.
Her whole body was twisted in an unnatural position making it almost to fight back.
But she continued to move around as much as possible to throw him off balance.
"Ebony, give me a hand please." Ebony came up to the bed, the other poker in her hand still. "Just? Lift the-" She grabbed the hem of Raine?s dress and pulled it up further, exposing her flat stomach. Ebony?s finger traced a thin line up her side, and Raine shuddered.
Cal's hand held high, her laughed a little and pushed the burning hot poker down onto her pale skin. The pain this time was unbearable. Her whole body began shaking in shock as he held the white hot metal on her melting flesh. No matter how much she tried, her legs wouldn't budge and he held both of her arms.
Her vision was marred by little black dots as the torture created a spinning sensation in her mind. After a few seconds of unbelievably long torture, Raine's arms went limp and her body shuddered. Her breathing slowed a little as she began to black out.
Cal breathed a long sigh and slapped her face once more before scrambling down off the bed and into Ebony's arms. She smiled at him, and held the poker high; together the two held the still sizzling poker in their hands and brought it down to line her stomach, a quick tremble from Raine, and then Ebony threw aside the poker and kissed Cal.
Raine's vision fled her, and the blackness swallowed her whole.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:02 am
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 8:55 pm
It's a very interesting story which really draws the reader in. Minus a few typos (which I know are allowed in the contest) it's really good! I can tell you put a lot of thought and effort into this story. It's still a bit unclear as to why they hate Taureans so much, but I'm sure you're just waiting for the right time to reveal that from the questions you're having Raine ask. I can't wait to read more!
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 6:41 am
Thanks, yeah, it'll all become clearer as we go along.... hehe..
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:52 pm
Anymore? I still need the helpsies <3
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:54 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 12:00 am
Thank you Queeny! Just what I needed... Now, to... Make subtle changes!!! ^_^ -chii-
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Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 10:55 am
Honestly, the writing that I need most help with is chapter one. I love that chapter, especially nearer the end... Umm.. When you have some free time please could you check it out for me? Anyone?
<3
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 3:06 pm
Anyone at all? I'd post the second chapter too, but no one seems to really care! xD Doesn't anyone wanna help meh?
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:54 pm
Prologue Critique/Workshop Quote: Lindsey was giving birth on this bright, cool May morning and there was nothing he, nor this old woman could do about it. Quote: Outside birds could be heard singing, but nobody wanted to be reminded that it was in fact May, and not still January. And in front of the young man, the midwife began to click with her teeth as she began cursing fluently. And what is the significance of the time lapse? Quote: "How is it?" he asked quietly, not want ing to disturb the silence opening description. Personally, I would develop a description of the town a little further before trilling the audience with the scream from childbirth. It would create a sharper sense of peril for the reader to quicken at. All right. Now as to the opening, the plot. You caught interest well. Beware tempting the reader too much and rewarding too little. You created the suspense over the mother's intended murder of the child, born a Taurean. If you want to further the symbolism of the Astrological symbols, you might put a bull watching the mother attempting to kill her daughter, or if you do expand the opening, one in the town. I am hoping for more characterization of Troy, as he seems a volatile character one can't wrap their mind about. Good job on setting up, and characterization of Sarah, Lindsay, and setting.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:01 pm
Queeny Quote: She shivered at the cold and goose bumps raised from her arms under the jumper. She shook her head and began to lower her daughter into the water. Lower. Lower. Lower. She was almost touching the water when Lindsey heard a shout from behind her. I disagree, Queeny. Repetition works. You could keep it as is, Cyberwitch, or you could elongate it, something like this, perhaps. She shook her head and began to lower her daughter into the water. Lower. The stream passed loose vegetation against her ankles as they floated downstream. Lower. A carriage thundered in the distance, carrying a noble to somewhere of importance. Lower. Footsteps approached quickly behind her. Lower. She was almost touching the water when Lindsey heard a shout from behind her.Deeper, lower works as well. But dying doesn't quite fit as the child never hits the water.
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