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 Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:44 pm
My daughter,Rayne, is now 3. Shes a very lovable and smart child. Shes been potty trained for a little less than a year now. Shes usually the sweetest girl anyone would meet. But there has been an issue.... Lately shes becoming VERY metarialistic and Very shallow and VERY bad.
Meterialistic as in, Ive started to take away her toys when shes bad. My babysitter recimended this. She screams Bloody murder. Thats all she ever cares about is her toys. I understand that shes 3 and all. but is this how 3 years old act?!
Shallow as in... one day she wouldnt stay still so i could put her hair up. So, i decided to leave it down. She started to cry and say that noone will like her if her hair is down because that means shes ugly. She also says that she wont have any friends if she ugly. I have know idea where this came from!!!
Bad as in she says "NO!" "what?!!" or she pees her pants on pourpose. (as in this one time she peed AND pooped on my bed during nap time) She doesnt listen to ANYTHING!! She screems and cries like shes in pain if anyone tells her no. (altho that sounds normal enough.... I guess youd have to see it.) and thats just the tip of the ice burg.
Im worried about the affect she is having on the other kids that she is around. Im worried about the person that she will become if this doesnt stop. WHAT SHOULD I DO?! How should i go about trying to fix this? (before i pull out all my hair)
Please? Some advice?
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:52 pm
My babysitter gave me some advice. But I think its a bit cruel. She said to take away her stuff. So one day All of her toys went in the closet. (Let me tell you, she has ALOT of toys! 3 toy boxes full) The next day she was bad, so I followed the advice giving to me and took away all of her books. (a book case full!) The next day she was bad, I took away all of her movies. When ever shes good I give her a toy. But now that she has everything taken away from her, we make her pick out some toys to give to charity. But I cant hrlp but thinking that this is a bit cruel for a 3 year old. Do you think so? Should I be doing somthing different?
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:53 pm
How come nobodies ever on here? I havnt seen much activity since Ive joined. This is very fusterating. (and my spelling is horrible! haha!! rofl ) Im really at the end of my rope and i dont know what to do. Can anyone help me find a way to help me solve this? Or is there anyone else out there that is having the same trouble? Am I alone?
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:54 am
Consistency is a key at any age. You have to decide what course of action you are taking. Talk to her about why you are going to do what you are going to do and what consequences will be when she doesn't follow the rules. I'm trying to remember what worked with my daughter when my daughter started throwing fits.
Along the materialistic look at it from your daughters point of view. Her world is very small and has very little control over things. My daughters toys, she's 7, has been the only way to show how serious I am in what I'm saying. Time or corners never worked for her.
When you put her hair up to you tell her lets do your hair so your a pretty girl or something along those lines? So all she has ever heard is that if her hair is up she's cute so her natural assumption is if it's not up, it's not cute. Maybe talk to her when she is calm to see if she will tell yo why she sees things that way.
I don't know how to do it but I've been told if they are having fits don't give them too much attention because it enables them. I haven't been able to understand how to do that when I want her to stop. Anyway I've tried to find out what is most important to my daughter and use that to my advantage to get her to what I want.
Sounds very manipulative but it's human nature. Something motivates us all.
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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:00 pm
Oh mai gosh! thank you so much for that! I really needed that! heart The advice giving to me by my babysitters seems to be working for the moment. She has had two great days in a row!! There was no "no"s, no fits, and most importantly no peeing on the couch!! I hope this will fix things in the long run. But will I always have to resort to such drastic measures?
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:30 pm
Consistency is the key. Mean what you say. Easier said than done. But it is very important to have consistent consequences.
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