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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 3:57 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 6:43 am
You have learned much. Yaaaaa!!!!
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 8:15 pm
It has a unique flow to it. Like a journal made into art from words. And the last stanza is very true. Overall, I like it. But unfortunately, I'm not a good enough critic to find anything wrong with it. gonk Not a bad thing, but I always try to find something so that I can help the writer improve.
The only thing I can say is what I've said in almost every other post I've made here. Put it down, wait, pick it up, and tweek. Repeat until satisfied. ^^
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Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 8:13 am
oh, this is good!^^
I find nothing wrong with it...though some words could be made better in my opinion..like the last line "....so long as I am alive." For me, I like short but smooth phrase, so I just think that it could be "....so long as I live." um, that's it smile
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