[•]Here I am[•] I'm only me when I'm with you.
»» Deep Down I'm the brains of the operation.
»» My Name Tag Reads Megara Evans
»» But I'd Rather Be Called Meg
»» Birthday Candles Nineteen
»» My Sex Chromosomes Say I'm Female, but the doctor might have been wrong, care to double check?
»» They Make My Heart Race Those men that actually care.
[•]Get Inside My Head[•]
»» My Best Kept Secret Random thing.
»» Story Of My Life I never knew my parents, they were killed in a car accident when I was very young. This great change in my life left me in the hands of foster care since I was barely old enough to open my eyes. I've seen several different ways of life, felt many pains that people my age should not have to feel so young. I've grown to expect the worst from most everything and everyone around me.
Yes, I'll admit, I experimented with drugs at a young age, not the ones you get on the street though, no, I wanted hard stuff, the hard to find narcotics that are imported for a high price. I, like many other kids my age using drugs used them to help ease my pain of living, but soon gave them up, finding the early death not worth the relaxing feeling they gave me. I do however still keep a pack of cigarettes hidden from my newest foster family to calm my stress.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my newest foster parents, they are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. They are nice and caring, yeah, they actually care, hard to believe huh? They treat me like......like a human unlike my other fosters, and I'm not afraid to talk to them. I was frightened at first, I mean who wouldn't be with a past like mine? I was also afraid that since they were rich they would be snobby and treat me just like everyone else, boy was I wrong. Needless to say, the past year and a half of my life has taken a turn for the better and I love every minute of it.
I was diagnosed with depression when I was five, or was it six? Anyway, I've been in and out of therapists ever since but they seem to be doing more harm than good. I've been working by myself on keeping my fears hidden to keep my panic attacks at bay. It's been hard, and every now and then I slip up, but that's where the few friends that I have come in, they help me through when I'm too weak to help myself.
»» It's Just An Act I'm generally a quiet girl, but there is strength hidden in my silence. I listen rather than talk, holding people’s words and my thoughts in my mind until the right time to let them out. I won't speak of my physical or emotional pain; those scars are hidden well behind my eyes with my past, besides, who wants to know about a little foster kid like me anyway?
I've always been told I was too smart for my age, wise beyond my years, I guess you can say it's true. I know one thing is true of all the words spilled about me, I am to mature for my age, I've handled more disturbing things than a girl my age should have to handle, I guess that's why everyone says I would make a good therapist, nothing really comes as a surprise to me anymore. I guess that's why I see life not as a life we simply live, but as a game in which we must survive.
»» Gotta Love It What is it that I love you ask? I must ask you a question in return, what is love but a word for humans to throw around like a young child throws their food? No, I do not love much of anything; on the other hand, I do find enjoyment in many things. I enjoy writing, I use to keep a journal with all my thoughts and feelings and stories that I kept hidden from the real world. I enjoy swimming and horseback riding, both of which I've been doing for several years now. I also find great pleasure in reading; books take me to a far off place away from the cruelty of the real world, something I long to one day escape for good.
»» Gotta Hate It There are many things that I dislike, but the main things would have to be talking about my past to people. It doesn’t matter if you are a new friend or an old friend, I do not like to speak of my scars and my past foster family’s or the horrors I went through while with them, I can hardly even bring myself to tell my therapist about my past. I do not wish to be in small places, they cause confusion in my brain and I tend to feel the world is closing in on me, which causes me to become short of breath and often pass out. No, I would much rather be in a large open field that stretched on for miles then in an old stuffy room.
»» Am I Missing Anything I have several scars on my back, but I dare not take my shirt off in front of others for fear the scars will scare them away.
[•]My Puppet Master[•]
»» Who Controls My Strings Lone_wolf16
»» Color Me the color of blood.
