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 Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:19 am
You had some secret that you were afraid to tell anyone, but that you just wanted to scream out to the world?
That you thought if you said it, probably everyone around you would either hate you or never look at you the same way ever again, pushing you deeper in the depression you have thanks to this secret? Everyday you ponder if you shouldn't just say it anyways, since if they are your true friends they wouldn't care. But what if your relationship with them would of been better if they had never known? Would people start avoiding you... Just for what you are, something that you can never change no matter how much you hide it? You could never truly hide it anyway, and the longer you would the more likely they would hate you for it... If you were truly a friend, and you believed they were too, you wouldn't hide anything from them. But then what if you would lose them all either way, and you were pushed back into that emptiness that you've felt for so many years? That one thing that has held you back from interacting with society, always thinking that everyone was out to get you, despite the fact that often they weren't. All because of some idiot who tortured you back when you were young, all the girls teasing you as much as the boys, calling you names so often that you came to believe them, hating every single inch of yourself because of it... Thinking you would never be happy. All the hate and neglect you endured turning you into something they wouldn't ever accept, even though they are what turned you into this in the first place. Sometimes, you wonder if it's really their fault, or if it wasn't just yours...
tl;dr : I really feel like killing myself right now.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:45 am
-hugs Tribor-
I know almost exactly how you feel. What you do need to realize though is that it is NOT your fault. It is their fault, for not seeing the beauty that is in you, and in every single person. (:
Sometimes, their own ugliness blinds them to it. Just ignore whoever tortured you (like I do), and live your own life.
Everyone has secrets, even from themselves. If you ever feel like it, we can talk more one-on-one on MSN and we can tell each other stuff that's happened to us, and make each other feel better. :3
Because one time, in middle school, I left a rose my mom got me for Valentine's Day in one of my classes, so I asked the bus driver if I could run and get it real quick, and they agreed. I ran and grabbed it, and ran back to the bus and went to my seat where I'd left my backpack, and found it in the aisle of the bus, and two people sitting in the seat I'd left my stuff in. The only seat left was in the back of the bus, next to some of the stuck-up black chicks who rode my bus. (Not being racist, they really were stuck-up, and black.) So I go to sit down, and one of them told me not to be stickin' my a** out like I'm gonna sit down, and I ended up sitting in the seat across from her, embarrassed to death.
Ever since then, I've always been incredibly self-conscious about sitting down. I just kinda plop down, instead of bending to conform to whatever seat I'm sitting in. I just sit and scoot.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:03 am
Those two were assholes Dx
And so was that black chick :/ (not to be racist, but she was black and a chick) I don't like sitting down with other people in the bus, so I usually sit in the front seat behind the bus driver.
But sometimes this girl invites me over in her seat, and I usually accept... Although she's a little b***h D<
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:48 am
People suck.
End of story.
People are going to make fun of you no matter what.
No matter how smart, pretty, awesome, tall, short, fat, skinny, blonde, not blonde, perfect, etc.
It doesn't matter people will always find something wrong with you because let's face it, we are human and we like to cover up our own insecurities with that flaws found in other people.
All of it is in vain and the more people make fun of you I find the more they wish they were like you.
Every single person is amazing in their own little way. Their quirks make them who they are and this secret you have is a quirk. It's something about you that makes Tribor...Tribor.
And if someone really disliked you for something you think is a part of you; then frankly they aren't worth your time.
You're special and excuse my hall marky mom like feel goodness, but I honestly believe that.
And seriously, don't worry about what people say and do. Live your life for you.
Take it from me, I was 'the fat girl' for the three years of my life. I've been told I'd break chairs, been told I'd never fit anything, been told no one would ever life me, been called a butter everything, been pushed and shoved and excluded from a lot of things. I let it bother me and then moved on. People will say what they want about you, but in the end those who think negatively of you aren't worth your time.
You've got people who like you for what you already are, and I'm sure they'd like you no matter what. Those are the people to care about. They'll help you in your weakest moments and cheer you in your strongest.
<3 Hope I helped a little. If you wanna talk I am also available on MSN.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:50 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:44 pm
Tribor, you're a good person no matter waht anybody says, don't let that make you think any less of yourself. As my band teachers say, it's always easier to see the flaws in someone else than in ourselves, so before you judge others, make sure you're right, so what I'm saying is those people are stupid and hurt others to make themselves feel better, I'll be your friend no matter what, and I'm sorry I can't offer MSN, but you can PM me.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:23 pm
I love people's "flaws."
The idea of perfection sickens me, you know? Why in the world would someone want to not have something different, something that makes them human?
Oh, and the secret thing; www.postsecret.com
&
If you ever wish to talk, you can find me on aim, msn, or here. =3
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