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Flower petals

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- hiddenkatastrophe

PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:35 pm


I like posting a lot of freestyle random poetry.
So sorry if it has no moral or any type of sense to it..
Read it anyway smile

It's that time of the day,
Where everyone is in begging to be in love.
What is all that's left?
The broken rose petals on your doorstep.
Looking at them hurts you.
How you have no love today.
You're loved one has left you heartbroken,
and in the arms of another he has gone to stay.
So at the end of the day,
As you sit and stare.
Those wonderful petals are what loves you most.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:26 pm


nice heart  

Love Toxic Kisses


Dragons Willow

PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:27 pm


oh noes! so sad....but, unfortunately, true. T^T

random is awesome! great job!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 4:36 pm


¤::::: I knew it was Jim's house. "...Well, then why'd you do it?" :::::¤

Very nice ending. I love the last line!

A few little things I would fix:
-2nd line: Take out the "in" before "begging;" it doesn't really make sense with it there.
-7th line: I think "broken-hearted" would sound better than "heartbroken." You don't have to change that, though.
-7th line: "You're" should be "your."
-11th line (last line): "Loves" should be "love" for subject-verb agreement.


¤::::: Because you asked me to. :::::¤

Agorphia

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MissAnnathropy

PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:58 pm


Very good biggrin
Reply
Poetry

 
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