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 Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:06 am
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blonde walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:05 pm
LOL
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:27 am
>.< i take it that joke wasnt so bad after all. I'M FULL OFF EM but only blonde jokes at the moment.
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:50 pm
Blondes are the easiest to make fun of.
Speaking of which...
What is black, blue, and lying in a ditch?
A brunette who has told too many blond jokes.
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Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:01 am
XD ohkay that is funny but umm i think any one that wanted to put me in a ditch would get the arse wooped first ^^ so nuh-uh i'm standing straight and tall
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 3:56 pm
Doom on brunettes ^_~
A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions.
On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?"
The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?"
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?"
The blonde responded, "20, right?"
Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?"
"3?" said the blonde.
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:31 pm
hahaha im like part-blonde but blonde jokes are still just as fukin funny
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:51 am
Smart blondes don't take offense at blonde jokes. (say that 5x fast!) ^_^ Anyway,
A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the windows!!!
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Nemket_The_Neanderthal Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:37 pm
problably already heard this one but oh well
ONe day there was these two blondes walking on oposite sides of a river one blonde looked over to te other and said hell when the other blonde heard her she looked over and asked how to get to the other side the other blonde yells back YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:36 pm
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"
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Nemket_The_Neanderthal Captain
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:54 am
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Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 6:15 pm
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proof-reading.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.
NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn't find the recipe.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:45 pm
lol. THOSE WERE FUNNY!
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:01 pm
There are two goldfish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns and I'll drive!"
rofl
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:51 pm
Lol Res I guess you liked that one hmm?
gosh so many blond jokes....
Ok how do you kill a blond?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
or
Put spikes in her shoulder pads and ask her a question
Ok the next is a little gross so Im putting it in White text. you may hilight if you choose to read, or not.
three vampires walked into a bar. The par tender asks for their orders. The first vampire orders a glass of A+ the second orders O- The third orders hot water.
The first two stare at him wondering why he ordered hot water. When they received their drinks the third pulled out a used tampon and placed it in the water.
"Its tea!" He said happily.
Remember laughter is just short of Slaughter!
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