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Does anyone recall the D.C comics plot device "The Bizzaro universe?"
What twists would you think our favorite Hellsing characters would have?
What do you think the bizzaro versions would look like?
How would they act?
How do you think would make the most interesting Bizzaro character?
Could you handle a Jan that didn't curse?

There's a lot to discuss. I am looking forward to what you people have to say about this subject.

i could simply go down the list having alucard being nauseatingly nice and baking cookies for people, walter being a pacifist hippie who likes "special" brownies and rainbows, integra being a boy, and all the soldiers being women as men aren't allowed direct combat in their society, and krieg being a crackaddict-thin Scandinavian supermodel but i prefer this:

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once upon a time, a butterfly farted, and the universe shifted slightly to the left at the wrong time.

the captain mopped the floor with walter and left him to die during the war. alucard, unwilling to lose his friend and ruin the mission all at once turns him to save him. they then proceed after much humorous arguing about walter's new "condition" to decimate the remainder of the nazi forces. alucard gets unhinged after finding out who their source material for the project is, and they burn the lab to the ground, ending millenium before they've even started. They then break orders to go after the stragglers who escaped, and then go off on various adventures taking out 1/4 of the nazi forces by themselves, effectively single-handedly ending the war, and accidentally confirming the existence of vampires to the modern world.

some time later, they return to england and hellsing expecting a hero's welcome, only to BOTH be thrown in the basement, sealed away and forgotten until one day little integra becomes lost in the house, and opens walter's cell. she keeps her new playmate a secret for a time, until walter manages to coax her into opening alucard's cell. alucard by now has gone from unhinged to simply crazy and a bit vengeful, and destroys most of the organization before escaping into the night. integra survives under walter's protection, being raised by him in hiding while alucard starts WWIII in england, forming a new kingdom for himself built on london's ashes and eventually regaining some of his sanity over the years.

meanwhile, integra and her loyal perpetual-teenager butler/boyfriend/protector lead the underground resistance against the vampire king and his armies, bringing in foreign mercenaries to aid the remains of hellsing and their allies in a last-ditch effort to end the reign of terror, including the geese.

..... tune in next month for the exciting conclusion of "hellsing: the battle for britain."

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just throw in some SEGA ads, one of those, "sell crap for prizes" pages, and a bullpen page... oh, wait, bullpen was marvel, i forget what DC called their author's interviews, but anyways, there ya go.

then again, i kind of like the image of hippie walter and his magic brownies. at his age, he could grow legally under a "medicinal purposes" license too, i bet. the whole mansion could be a big commune, like a sf victorian back in the day. heh, he'd prolly tie-dye alucard's coat too.

i feel the need to fanart 60's alu and walter now...

or i could just stop doing the 3am rambles and go to sleep. sleep sounds nice.

Michi...I think I could become unhinged trying to wrap my mind around your little butterfly fart. eek

I still vote for the sequence in which 13 year old Integra wakes up from the end of volume 10 and runs to her Father for a hug to make the bad dream go away.

Bizarro equates to polar opposites then?

Okay, end of original anime, however one writes the story, Integra really was a traitor trying to assassinate the queen.

I still like Michi's 'story' best. It's not simply flipped personalities and intents but a truly warped reality. Angel and I have come up with a large number of such things over the years. I'll try to recall specifics and post a few.

heh, how about a living alucard attending a religious college in rome, and having anderson as a roomate, and maxwell as an annoying jerk neighbor across the hall who secretly listens to heavy metal and does the carlton dance when no one's around.

of course, anderson is only there because his parents made him, he dosen't even want to study religion, he wants to move to vermont and live in a hippie commune, and change his name to "passionfruit" anderson.

integra is a famous rich eurotrash with nothing better to do than travel the world wasting daddy's money and partying like it's 1999. she's much reknown as the paris hilton of london. after having given paris herself a swirly after an argument about nailpolish, she flees the paparazzi's wrath for the relative quiet of rome, where she meets a certain young romanian seminary student one day while out shopping...

(seras isn't around because she was found in the closet and killed along with the rest of her family)

I have to say a comic that gives a bit of a taste of a Bizzaro Hellsing would be the webcomic And Shine Hellsing Now, or Shine for short. Especially later on when they do have a bit of a alternate dimension storyline...

I think having Alucard stay as Girlicard throughout the story would be pretty bizarre especially if he decided to play mommy to Integra. Just imagine that messed up little family with Walter as the substitute dad figure.

Seras and Pip being the opposite genders is also interesting possibility for altered dynamics.

Or a world where Seras and Schro become a couple would be really weird. Read good fanfic for it with some being serious and others totally rolling in the weirdness.

I'm way behind on Shine. I also came into it late, so I've really only read the middle bit. I still say the best part of the whole comic was putting Hellsing words to the song The Day the Music Died.

Going off the idea of Alucard staying in Girlycard form, what if he stayed that way and Integra was instead a male. Same for Seras.

Pip/Seras gender swap would be interesting too, as E Beth said. Having their personalities swapped would also lead to some odd dynamics.

Dunno about the dream ending. I always felt like that was a bit of a cop out when writers did that.

I once submitted a Hell-Sing piece to Shine. It was a work up around "The Show Must Go On" by Queen and Erin did use it in her comic. biggrin

Ohers have mentioned the dream notion feeling like and easy out, too. I think I like ti because Angel and I have played through "what-if"s involving little Integra, her father and our OOCs swapping places in time. Thus we have a lot of attachment to them beyond the set story and such a dream had a huge impact in how we imagined their group reactions.

As a general plot devise, yeah, it is a bit lame. Too easy to wipe away any consequences or hurts the protagonists have gone through, make the ending nice and sweet rather than meaningful. At the other end, it's also too easy to state a meaning or make a point through dream thoughts and sights, rather than figure out a "real" story for your characters.
So, in general, I agree with you, but for personal rp reasons I still like it. smile