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Capn got promoted to vice.
Bees took over the guild.
Good luck to everyone entered into MotM this month. (:
On less happier news, Isato quit the guild which meant his win got taken away.
So congratulations to Bedsheets / Teases / Uke.

by Martyr_Of_Death.

Post Count's as of August 3,2009

1. Psywing- 11700
2. Hippie Bane- 9426
3. Senti-du-Bon- 7894
4. Dragn Breth II- 6905
5. Amish Astronaut- 6816
6. Mysterious A- 6506
7. - 5034
8. iDigress- 4894
9. Dasily- 4808
10. The Censorship Fairy- 4619

By I Knead Dough.

I don't feel like answering all the questions I asked last article.
Sucks for you. Also, you guys are god awful at bribing me.
The next person won because I'm hot for them.
Let's be honest, who wouldn't be?



Name: Capn ********' Raccoon
Birthday: February 8, 1991
Date Joined: This c**t flap doesn't know when he joined the guild.
Date Joined Gaia: September 9, 2005


So let's see this adorable little Brit joined the guild
because [ Q ] invited him and he loves [ Q ].
He has been on and off the guild for ages he says.

He's active now and his cuntish ways have earned him a VP position.
(and because I feel like this should be in every article RIP Shaff)

I asked dear old Capn hot he was on a scale of 1 -10 he said: “Like..Uh...5 - Because i'm not mutilated =S But i'm not hot or anything.”

Then he added: “Like; I get SOME people are like "OMG LIEK URE VOIC IS HOT"
But like, that's only you Doughy >> And I still think you're kidding >> “

I'd like to point out that I am not a liar. I am putting it all on the line right now.
I'm saying live in front of all the guildies, every time I hear Capn talk I get the urge to fap like a fiend.

Anywhoo, on with the show.

He also added: “So yea; 5, but only cos i'm not like...A ******** elephant with a mutilated face.”

I asked him to tell some random s**t about himself.
Apparently, he has no random things to say about himself, but here was his answer anywhoo.
“Not much =S I don't really do random s**t. Uuuuh, i've failed college twice now - And i'm like "wat" It's not like I dunno what's going wrong, cos I just get s**t bored and don't bother.
But uh, i'm a barman now? So yea? “

Capn on his hobbies: “Video games; Harass people - It's a hobby, you know.
Uhm I enjoy socialising? WTF is this my C.V?!“

Favorite Beer: “Fosters - But, I prefer shots now <3 Jager shots - Or Jager bombs = <3”

Take me out for Jager Shots? We could get wasted and do things we'll regret in the morning. :'D

He thinks we should know that he's bat s**t awesome and I agree.

I asked him when he died and he said: After you turned me down ; 3;

This broke my heart.
FFFFF- WE STILL HAVE OUR JOVI WEDDING BABY.
I WILL NEVER FORGET.
MY LOVE FOR YOU BURNS WITH THE WHITE HOT INTENSITIES
OF A THOUSAND ******** SUNS.

Other Morons Said:
"Capn makes me randy. Eurgh. Hotness. I want to bang him."

"Capn is my long lost British brother, and perhaps the greatest dudesicle I could ask for. c**t Flaps 4 Life"

“EURRRGH HOTNESS I WANNA BANG YOU”

So yeah, basically, this article was me explaining how I want to bang Capn.
I used my position for selfish reasons and I don't care about professionalism.
As if it isn't obvious. Now whatever. I've got to go fap.
All this thinking about him is getting a little hard to handle.

By Capn.

So this time round I decided i'd review something a little less serious - And by that, I mean free; So, bring on the MMORPGs!
With alot of talk about Maple Story floating around, what with their new Cygnus update and events being put out left right and center, it seemed some what themed and accurate.

Maple Story is a tricky one to get your head round, to start off with, you'd expect it's main fan base to be retro loving video gamers - Or "Sad bastards" as most of the world calls them, well, you'd be wrong, once more another Korean made MMORPG that's dominated by a shitty user base determined to ruin everyone's fun by putting "PINOY" or "AZN63423411" in their name - And it doesn't matter what version you're playing, even the European version is full of "PINOYSXY111"; It really baffles me.

The actual main essence of Maple Story is a 2D side scroller beat 'em up, which personally interests me as one of those "Sad bastards" that I previously mentioned - And Maple Story stays true to it's roots, with the exception of a Trading card game thrown in that no one actually bothers playing, but Maple Story's main issue doesn't come from it's genre - It comes from it's ridiculous amount of grinding that's needed. No matter how you try and defend it (Trust me, i've tried) you cannot escape the fact that most of the game is based on "Kill 5000000 Tree stumps and receive 10 Exp" Because the grinding; whilst shitty, is not the main problem in the big Maple Story issue, it's the fact that you get ******** all in return for collecting 400 Shiney dragon wings or what ever item Nexon have you lovingly collect for several hours.
A prime example of this would be the "Kill 999 Green mushrooms" You kill that many of them - And get bugger all experience; Which you might try to defend by saying "But killing 999 Green mushrooms would get you enough experience, based on the actual killing experience" Well, once more you'd be wrong, not only are the stupidly long quests worthless, but 99% of the monsters give bugger all experience anyway; So you find yourself either grinding party quests or finding that one monster that gives half decent experience and grinding on that some more!

I guess what i'm trying to say is; Not only is Maple Story's experience scale ******** from here to high buggery, but the only fun to come from the game is grinding Party quests - In which you stand in a room for 10 minutes screaming "J > PQ" until you get a party; And then once you do, you wait til "AznMage67462198" decides that it's time to go "AFK" and you end up waiting another 10 minutes until they come back; In which 50% of the time they never do - And within those 50% - 49% of them always have an item that the party needs to move onto the next part of the level, so you always then end up doing it again - So after a three hour wait, you've just gotten 5% - AND THIS IS AT LEVEL 40 - REMEMBER, THE LEVELS GO UP TO 200! (And last I checked only a few members have ever reached that).



So from what you've read you'll be sitting there saying
"But Capn, why is the game so popular?"
And i'd have to reply ******** if I know" - And then i'd immediately go "BRB" and head onto Maple Story to grind some more, because no matter how I try to slag this game off, I keep going back, it's addictive, charming, fun and somewhat 'epic'.
It's latest update will have you transforming yourself into a Knight who has to save the Emperess from a black mage; This personally has me interested again and i've started another character as a Cygnus Knight! And I am personally excited to experience all of the "expansion pack".
One thing that you really can't slate in Maple Story is the amazing surroundings - Whilst I realise most of us have moved onto 3D nowadays, Maple Story really can pull off some beautiful surroundings; The background of Kerning City is a favourite of mine, just because it actually pulls off a industrial evening feeling to it - And the background music really does add atmosphere if you're willing to accept it. Maple Story is something you've got to wanna do, you can't just slip into it like you can with other MMOs, this requires your personal input to work.



All in all; Maple Story is fun - And there's no denying it, it's free, addictive and whilst most might complain about heavy grinding, you get used to it some what and if you play with friends then it's no problem - So just remember, don't be a loser and play alone and you'll be fine.
Unless you're made of pure endurance, then feel free to experience more grinding than any other MMORPG known to mankind.