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 Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 2:22 pm
Flight
One day i will fly
dont clip my wings to see me cry
my heartbeat roaring in my my head,
my blood boiling in my veins,
i lift my wings and fly,
i kiss the stars and say goodbye
tears
but im afraid to cry.
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:09 pm
hmmm .......... neutral
I'm not an expert or don't really know much i think
but I think it would sound better like this
One day i will fly
so don't clip my wings
for that will make me cry
as i spread my crippled wings
Hearing the roar of a heartbeat in my head
boiling blood rushing through my vein
This is a feeling i have never had
just like fire that never had it reign.
Again i lift my wings and fly
kiss the stars and say goodbye
Tears yearning to flow from my eye
but i am to afraid to lose my smile
that's why i shall not cry.
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:13 pm
Hehehe but this is just what i think.
I just wrote things that would rhyme not knowing what they mean. xd
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:01 pm
ok it does sound cool... biggrin
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:26 pm
i usually dont read or critique poems but tears just seem to be randomley put into that
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:28 pm
i was having a bad day when i wrote that...
thanks for reading it! biggrin
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 7:31 am
AHh i see hehe. anyway sorry for adding or editing it a bit 3nodding
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