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Have you ever felt drawn towards something? An occurance, a place, or even a person? Have you felt yourself being pulled in even if you didn't want it? Even if you fought with all of your heart to resist it?

This is an open discussion about fate. Is there fate? Or is our life really what we make for ourselves? Perhaps both?

I know for me, though I forever dream the life which I desire most, it is a dream that only gets further and further away, no matter how hard I try.
On the other hand, there are things which seem to happen no matter what, and there's no way I can avoid them.

I'm not happy to say this, but I'm really good at hurting people. Thing is, the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone.
I always end up fighting, no matter what I try to do to avoid it. I either end up beating the crap out of someone or shooting at them. So far I haven't had to shoot anyone lethally, but how long will that last? Will the day come that I have to shoot to kill?
I've disobeyed orders to kill people before. And under those circumstances I was right. But what if I'm wrong someday, and someone forces me to shoot them dead? I know, it just part of the job... or... is it?

I've been doing this for so long...

I've thought about leaving the military. Because otherwise, I think my dream will be impossible. But I have to ask myself... even if I left... would that dream be any more possible. Or would I just be running from that which I was meant to be?

A soldier that dreams of the day he can be more than a soldier.
All around me are dreams; of greater things I would love to be.
But I'm also on this road, racing fast ahead into the darkness that never yields. And forced to face upon the shadow of my enemy, I look away from the dream... ready to strike.

In my heart there is a Dragon. And when I turn from the shadows of events that life has beset me, I look upon the world for the many dreams I once dreamt.

And says the Dragon... where now are your dreams? They will have you not. They will deny and break you a thousand times until you realize that I am you... and you are me. We are one together.

The Dragon and the Soldier.

I guess I just wish I could get more in tune with life. I always seem to be doing something against the grind. But if I just sit back and let things happen, the results are bad, worse, or flat out disasterous...
meh.

Yeah I tried the middle thing once. I was at a 3 way intersection and didn't know where to go, so I just went down the middle. I found this Mexican restaurant. I stopped in and had some chimchangas.... it was pretty choice. ^_^

heart I really do try to believe life is what we make of it, but I've come to see that no matter what I do, the result is always the same. Sometimes I think; why even try? But it would go against my nature not to try. Maybe it's my nature that subjects me to my fate. heart

heart Yeah, but nothing has come to sound a lot better than the bad stuff that always happens. Of course I'll get over it. I always do. I'm just sick of life always being about getting over things, and moving onto things I'll have to get over later on. heart