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 Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:11 pm
When going out on a date, or when dating someone in general, what are your rules? Do's and don'ts? What turns you on/off?
And if you care to add. What's the best/worst date you ever been on?
My rules are as follows.
Age: 18+ with a maximum difference of 9 years. Why 9? Because more than that and you just run into too many differences. There might be an exception to the rule, but don't count on it. People with 10 years or greater age difference tend to value things in life quite differently, and that can lead to numerous conflicts.
Intelligence: They have to be smarter than someone I would consider being dumb. The hottest woman in the world would be a complete and total turn-off for me if she was dumb as a box of rocks. I understand this kind of woman makes some men happy, but not me.
Lifestyle: What she does for a living isn't so much an issue as that she does something. She has to be motivated about something in life, if not multiple things. She has to have her own energy. I try to avoid duds. What's a dud? Someone who lives the entirety of their lives in front of the TV and their ideal date consists of dinner and a movie.
Health/Appearance: There has to be something I find attractive about them. Because let's face it - no attraction = no chemisty. I found myself attracted to all kinds of women over the years. Big, small, tall, short. I don't generalize my kind of gal. If someone is overly large, my only concern if it's a matter of poor health or not. Are they overeaters who pig out too much, or are they just built that way?
So what's my problem with overeaters? Simple. If they're not willing to take care of themselves, how could I expect them to take care of anything else?
A woman can be large, and be very healthy. You just have to pay attention which catergory they fall into. The same applies for men.
Eyes have typically been the winning feature of most women I've liked.
Best date ever: Going out with a friend. We went to an Italian restaurant, danced (I'm a horrible dancer sweatdrop ) then we went on a riverboat ride under the stars talking about life. She kept talking about how she wouldn't seriously date anyone because there was a whole world left out there to be conquered. I found it rather motivating. This was just prior to my joining the military.
Worst date ever: Lol. Any of the ones where I've been stood up. burning_eyes I hate waiting around for nothing.
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:20 pm
When going out on a date:
For me, I don't want someone who will just be silent for the whole time. I want them to be able to talk to me about their life. What they like, what they hate.
Someone who wants to have fun, and isn't afraid to at least do something. Why not go to an amusement park, and ride one of the big roller coasters with me? I'll understand if he's pretty scared of them, but just one?
We don't like it when guys just stare at girls while we're out together. Makes you look like a player.
When just going out, what I like and what I don't:
I like someone would stick by me and cheer me up when I'm going through my worst moments. I'd end it if they just ditch you to hang out with his friends rather than visiting me when something really bad happened.
For appearance...I'm more attracted to guys who kept themselves looking nice. I don't mean a total hottie, but so you look presentable. Though I do have to admit, I like guys with multi-colored hair. xD And like you, Sailor, the eyes also attract me. x3
For brains, yes, they do have to be smart, and hold an intelligent conversation. It won't win girls over if you can't even talk about different events and how you view them. And sure, you look hot. But you don't have much for brains.
I have not gone out with anyone yet. sadly, the boys who are attracted to me are too shy to tell me. Strange thing is, I like them too! But I will wait for the right person to come around.
But once, I liked this guy, and he liked me too. Apparently, he tried to impress me by being a jerk to other people, and sometimes to me too! He would say mean things to people, and would make fun of my race! I lost interest in him immediately, but he's still trying to win me back.
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Darkiee-Wolfy Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:41 am
  ♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
When going out on a date:
Age: Probably someone older than me. So 18+. Mainly because it's so hard to find a mature guys younger than 18. Or even 20 for that matter >.>
Intelligence: All i want is for them to be able to hold a conversation and understand jokes. And understand when i refer to something. Someone as smart as me. And that's hardly asking for much xD
Personality: I just want them to be nice. Maybe keep your eyes off the a** of that hot girl that just walked by. Keep your eyes on me. Honesty: that's a big one. I hate slow people. Don't ever get in my way when i'm walking. It's this total pet peeve. I can't stand it when people bump into me. Holding onto me... well.. that's totally different razz I want them to be funny.. but not a total jokester.
Lifestyle: Honestly, I just want them to be stable in what they're doing. I hate slackers. I mean, why am I going to spend my life with someone who doesn't even have a plan for himself? I'm not looking for some child to babysit. I'm looking for a relationship.
Health/Appearance: My only turn off is bad hygiene. Seriously. It does not hurt to take a shower once a day and getting your clothes washed regularly. Any guy is actually okay to me (appearance-speaking) I just want them to make it look like they put effort into making themselves look presentable to the public. That whole carefree thing is total bullshit. That whole "if it's fate, it's fate." and "if he/she really loves me, then they won't care about my appearance" That's total crap. No matter how fat/thing/tall/short/ugly/pretty you are, the bottom line is, you should still put an effort into making yourself look presentable. I don't mind personal styles. But honestly, that whole wearing-your-pajama-out thing is so gross to me. It makes people look like they don't take care of themselves. How can i be in a full relationship with someone who i can't even respect? I may be overweight, but i like t put on make-up and dress up according occasion. Why, you ask? Because what else can i do? I might as well. It's better than being fat and being ugly. See, I can't get tired to the point where i'm heaving. Why? Because my throat bleeds. So even though i hardly eat that much, i can't exercise doing those cardio stuff. To make up for that, I make sure i move a lot. School helps. As for health in the other person? Well, I'd like someone healthy. Like seph said, how can i be with someone who clearly doesn't make an effort in taking care of their health? That's just going to be another thing i have to take care of. I already have myself to maintain. Again, I'm looking for someone to love, not someone to babysit.
I generally look at hair. If the hair is gross, then everything is gross. It's the first sign of bad hygiene. Oily hair=no shower for days. Their smell also indicates that. Youth these days assume that spraying axe over dried up sweat will make up for their awful stench, but it makes it worse. That's not healthy, either.
Best Date Ever: Never been on a date.
Worst Date Ever: Never been on a date.
Are my expectations too high?
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
♥ Pink99Chick (Lady Pinksalot Taco Ranger)
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:16 am
 "I'll follow thee. No your expectations don't sound high at all. Everyone has things that they expect out of their "possible other." Now me on the other hand, I might be a little different. Each of us are with what we like. Though after I write mine out, we might have some similarities.
Age: The do need to be around my age. Nothing too crazy. Maybe at least a couple months apart. (I've noticed my pattern, that's what I go for. Most of my ex boyfriends have been around the same age as me, except a few. But most were from my graduation class. The craziest age difference I had was where I was a freshman and he was a senior. Crazy, right?
Intelligence: I want someone that's pretty smart. They don't have to be book smart. Now two ex boyfriends I had they were the dumbest guys I've ever met. The reasons why I dumped them: they said that they weren't going to amount to anything after high school, I found out that they did drugs and drank. >.< Ew. Now on the other hand, other exes I had were very smart. They had pretty good grades in school and two of them were in a computer tech class. When it came to computers, they actually seem like they know what they're doing. And believe me, you do have to have some intelligence as to what to do with a computer. My boyfriend is a computer tech too, and it's a turn on for me. I don't know why. Does that sound too creepy?
Lifestyle: It is a big part to me. As long as you're going to accomplish something in life, I'm happy. It doesn't have to be anything special, but don't just sit around at home most of the day. My boyfriend did that a little when he was playing World of Warcraft, but now that college started for him, he has that to worry about now. And that makes me happy. Not the fact that he can't play WoW anymore, but that he's going to be doing something with his life.
Health/Appearance: Yes, I agree. Looks do play a big role as well, but it's not the main. I mean, I've dated some not so good looking guys, but where the chemistry laid was in our interests and hobbies. But that's not what's being talked about here. Beautiful eyes and smiles have been a big plus for me. They always get me. I do have a small fetish with hair. If it looks nice and the texture of it is nice, then we're good. For some reason, Cervantas has longer hair than any guy I've dated before. Before we started dating, I really thought it looked weird, but I grew to like it. He keeps it very nice and it's so soft. Like my cat's fur. smile
Best Date Ever: Wow. In my book, there's been a few dates that are considered "up there" but there's one that I will never forget. One evening, and this is before Cervantas and I started dating, but anyways...one evening Cervantas and I were at the park. It was very relaxing. We sat there most of the time on a bench and we just talked about life and what we think what's going to happen. He even said that time that he could see us get together. Wasn't he right? lol But after the park, we left to go out to eat. A friend of ours met up with us at the part and walked with us. When that happened, my mind just sort of wondered. Sometimes it can be a good thing or a bad thing when my mind begins to wonder. Time passes and we reach the place we were going to eat at. Our friend said he was going to go with us, but he didn't. But outside of the restaurant, Cervantas and I were holding each other. Our friend smiles and said, "I saw this was going to happen to you two. Once you started to really hang out I was like, 'Uh oh...here we go.'" After he said that his cell phone rang and he just sort of disappeared. We went inside. We ordered calamari and mozzarella sticks. It was all so good. Especially the calamari. MmmmMmmmm. biggrin After dinner I had to get home because it was getting late, but before he took me home we walked around one more time in the park together. Just on a single path because it was too dark to walk anywhere else. But the moon and stars we out and it was perfect. Before getting in the car he kissed me. 4laugh
Worst Date Ever: Hmm...well I don't think I actually have one. I've never been stood up before. And make a heaven of hell."
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:27 am
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
That sounds so sweet, kiua. Seriously.
I've never even had my first kiss yet xD
But honestly for me, it's good hygiene. That's my main. If they don't have that, they don't have anything else. xD
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
♥ Pink99Chick (Lady Pinksalot Taco Ranger)
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:40 am
"I'll follow thee. That's the same for me. Cervantas does take a shower everyday. He always looks nice when I'm around him. And did I mention that his hair is always very soft? 4laugh It is. It's nice. There were some exes of mine that looked like they hardly did that. >.< And make a heaven of hell."
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:49 am
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
see.... i think guys like that re repulsive. >.>
This one guy at our school... oh man.. he's walk past you and his stench. holy crap. it made you feel like "kill me already!!! please!" >.<
Edit: sadly, i think he plays gaia >.>
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
♥ Pink99Chick (Lady Pinksalot Taco Ranger)
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:12 am
"I'll follow thee. I know. In the words of my brother, "Take a bath, wash yourself." XD And make a heaven of hell."
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Darkiee-Wolfy Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:25 am
Ahh, I forgot about the age...Well of course. I want someone older than me. That's it. xD
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:27 pm
"I'll follow thee. Why is that darkwolf? And make a heaven of hell."
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Darkiee-Wolfy Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:17 pm
x3 Call me Wolfie.
Well, It feels weird if I was dating someone who was younger than me. And their maturity level might not be so high.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:28 pm
I like Pinky's post. 3nodding (the big one) Can't get any more in a nutshell than that. ^_^
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:35 pm
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
hahahahha basically <3
Thing is, i think i have a lot of expectations, but most of them aren't like... high.
I think if i put effort into my appearance with my weight, then the gy should atleast take a shower and put some cologne on. it's not hard >.<
I knew you'd like my post<3
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
♥ Pink99Chick (Lady Pinksalot Taco Ranger)
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Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:55 pm
Some of things I've seen men do... I just want to run up and kick them square in the ballz >.> (In regards to what they say and do around women, and how totally uncalled for it can be.)
An ex-friend of mine - ex-friend for this very reason - tells me one day he's going to divorce his wife. It really hit me for a loop. His wife was like the greatest thing that ever happened to him. She cooked, she cleaned, she waited on him hand and foot. Everything he ever asked for was, "Yes, honey," this, and, "yes, honey," that. She was always smiling and they had a child she took really good care of. So I asked what the problem was, if there was anything going on behind closed doors.
Outright he tells me she'd gotten too large to keep his interest since they had the kid. Granted she was attractively well built before having the kid, and her size from pregnancy never really went down. She pretty much went big and stayed big, but everything else about her was the same, including her golden personality.
When I asked him why he thought that was ground for divorce, he tells me he married an attractive young woman, and that she just wasn't attractive anymore, so he wanted to end it.
First of all, she was still very attractive. It just became very clear to me that this guy didn't value her personality, let alone all the great things she was doing for him. Second, they had a child together. That is a second bond on top of marriage itself. Third, he's the one that got her knocked up in the first place. They both made the decision. How this jerk was going to blame her appearance solely on her and then want to divorce her over it, was beyond absurd.
So against everything I told him, he decides to go trhough with the divorce. But when he told her the reason why... that's what really became unforgiveable.
You see, everyday until then, she was always smiling and laughing and being cheerful everywhere she went. But after that, she was always sad and crying. Whenever we tried talking with her she was always breaking down. She believed it was her fault that her marriage was ending and kept cursing herself. She would say, "if only I wasn't so damn ugly."
She never believed that about herself before he did that.
At work he kept wanting to hang out and trash talk about his wife and how he was happy to be getting rid of the pig. I wanted to $&^*#&$* kill this guy! Anyway, I amended his BS stories on the spot and told everyone what the real deal was, and he was shunned thereafter. But it wasn't near what he deserved.
This kind, sweet, and loving woman took her kid with her to go live with her family. I can only hope she's found the happiness she once had with someone better by now.
But yes, I hate materialistic, superficial pigs as much as the next person...
So.... maybe I should have put this in the rant thread?? (Didn't quite know I'd go on like this about it) XD
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 1:29 am
♥ ----------- ♥ ----------- ♥
Well, I might as well post this here.
So end of freshman year, I started to really like this guy, which we'll name "X" for a good reason and if you know his actual name, you'll laugh xD
Anyways, so yeah, i really liked him and then came sophomore year and me and him were like... Full on calling each other and talking 24/7. Our cell phone plans allowed us to talk unlimited to each other. So I started falling for him and there came a time when I started realizing how much I hated it when he would go on and on about other girls. He’s always be like, “Omg, Rochelle is so hot, right? I’m scared of asking her out, though!” And it was kind of like I was his relationship consultant and girl best friend and as cliche as it is, I began to fall harder for him. It was only matter of time before he started discovering my feeling for him and that time came when I started flipping out because I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I was sick of hearing about these sluts who didn’t even like him. (Seriously, though, Rochelle is a freaking slut.) And I finally told him I don’t want him talking about other girls anymore.. Not like that, at least; it was hurting me. And then he was like, “Why?! Do you like me or something?!” jokingly. >.> And I was like.. “YEAH!” and he was kind of taken by surprise and then he was like “I KNEW it!” And I was like, “ugh… s**t.” And thats when all the “I love you’s” began. Ugh. You know what sucks? I said it first. But his reaction was something you only see in movies. See, I texted him saying I loved him and right after, he called me and he was so happy. He was like, “Really??!?!?! I love you too! OW!” And that’s when he got burned by the oil that splattered on him because he was at work and he’s a cook for his dad’s restairant. So he was frying. And he’s not allowed phones during work, but he did anyways because he was so happy! Ever since that time, I started telling him how much I loved him and he would always return it. He’d even say it to me, too, first. I remember this one phone conversation we had and it basically was me and him saying “I Love You” to each other over and over again until we fell asleep. We woke up the next morning, the phone conversation still open and he was just there waiting for me to wake up. I thought it was he sweetest thing. And when I woke up, he was still there! And when I said “Hello?” he told me he loved me. At that time, thought we were perfect for each other.
That was until one day when he was like “I love you…. As a friend. You know that, right?” And I was kind of like… what?! And that’s when the sadness started kicking in. He would get my hopes up. He would tell me he loved me and then there’d be this huge a** pause and then he’d say, “As a friend” And that’s kind of where it all started. He’d tell me to help him masturbate and stuff (which I didn’t do because I thought that was so gross) and he’d tell me how much he likes me best friend (which I thought was cruel) and then he’d also tell me he loved me. As a friend >.>
A few weeks after that, we started going to my best friend’s house every Saturday and we’d tell her not to take a shower until we got there. You see, my best friend takes showers for 2 hours. Sometimes, even longer. What does she do in the shower for two hours? Only God knows. But I know what me and X were doing outside in the living room for 2 hours. Basically, me and him would just cuddle on her couch and hug and stuff. One week, he started asking me if he could kiss me, but I was kind of like… if I kissed you, would we actually be official? And he said no. And so I was kind of like meh. And then he started trying to kiss me by surprise, which I have to admit, I enjoyed. Because I have good reflexes. And he was slow, so he got the side of my mouth at most hahah!
That’s also when I became good friends with X’s best friend, Sean. Sean helped me and stuff and he was all for me and X. But one day, during a 3-way phone conversation that wasn’t so 3-way-ish went really bad. Basically, I asked Sean to ask X why he didn’t want to ever make it official with me. Because in his words, we were “perfect for each other,” he agreed to. I just had to keep my other side of the favor and not talk. Just listen. So I was listening and it basically came down to the fact that X didn’t want to be with me because I’m fat. And then he started insulting me behind my back and he said s**t like “her eyebrows are so thick!” and “she should go to the gym like, 24/7!!” and that’s when I got really angry. Because I loved him but all he did was get my hopes up. And so I broke my end of the deal and I was like “******** YOU.” and I hung up.
Of course that isn’t the end of my story. Of course I forgave him. But this time, I’m not going to fall for his games. But I still loved him, so he still had my heart. Ugh. So I actually thought he and I were on the verge of going out when I told this girl Roseanne (the biggest whore you will ever meet) who I befriended when she first got to Canada (see, it means I was her very first friend here) that X and I were on the verge of being official, she said crap like “OMG, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOUU!!!! YAY!!!” I should have known better than to trust that b***h. Four days later, they were going out. And you know why she was going out with him? To make her best friend’s boyfriend jealous. Too bad it didn’t work. Because her best friend (at the time) is probably one of the nicest people you will meet and frankly, Roseanne is an easy, flirtatious backstabbing b***h who looks like a man. When I found out about it, I honestly became mute for a good half hour. I tried crying and only tears came out. No sound came out and I thought it was so weird. X loved her so much and it’s kind of like, “Hello? You’re being fooled, dumbass!” But he never listened to me. He just kind of kept talking to me everyday and telling me he loved me as a friend. And that was kind of a sad time. That was until I had had enough of Roseanne. See, he flirted with all of my friends’ crushes. And for sophomore girls, it’s a huge deal. So I got all of the girls against her. So she officially had no friends. I must say, I was very much satisfied. There’s nothing sweeter than revenge. So she broke up with X, claiming she really did love him (which I don’t believe). Soon after, I met E, who I really, really liked. But sadly, he lived in California, and as you guys know, I live in Canada. So me and E basically just liked each other. We were aware of it, but it wasn’t like we could have a successful LD relationship. And that’s when I told Roseanne and X, “You know what? Be together. Because honestly, I am certain you guys will not last. Please prove me wrong. And honestly, I hope you guys are happy. Roseanne, I hope you’re happy for losing a friend who really cared about you, and X, I sincerely hope you’re happy because you had someone who loved you with all their heart, but you decided to be a shallow person and not accept their appearance. I hope you guys find love with each other. And lastly, I hope you’re happy together because at least then, all this pain would’ve been worth it.” I actually said that. And I then suffixed it with “******** you both.” And I walked away. At that moment, I was honestly just so tired.
So they got back together and they lasted two weeks. Two rough weeks. X would tell her he loved her and she’d say nothing back and that’s when X started realizing what he’d lost. All the while, E and I were just talking a lot on the phone and online. And I remember X telling me “DON’T LIKE HIM! LIKE ME!” >.>
So the day of Roseanne’s volleyball tournament, the two teams were tied. The whole game was relying on her [crappy] serve. So she did this really bad serve and they lost. It was a home game and Sean (X’s best friend) started booing her. And right after the game, X told her they needed to talk and he broke up with her. Basically, it came down to the fact that according to Roseanne, she’s “not the dumpEE,” she’s “the dumpER.” Enough said about that.
The next day, I sweetly called over to where I was sitting and she was like, “yeah?” and right there, I slapped her. Then I told her to get out of my sight before I slap her again. You know, I don’t do that very often, but I think it’s because of how much she hurt me. But mostly how much she hurt the people I love. Because of her, every single day of sophomore year, we’d always be crying. We couldn’t even enjoy each other’s company. And in the end, I left them the year after.
And after that, I think I spent a good amount of time trying to get over X. I have to admit I’m still reminiscent of those old days we spent together exchanging “I love you’s,” but I also realize that there’s going to be someone for me one day that won’t hurt me the way that he did.
Our current relationship? Well, me and him talk. Barely. I got my eyebrows done the year after sophomore year and it kind of opened his eyes. This past senior year, I got this surprise call from him and he asked me out. He said he misses me and that he misses the old times and what we used to be. I told him I didn’t want to go out with him because he made me feel really shitty about myself and that’s not what I’m looking for in love. He said he’s changed. And so I told him I don’t care if he’s changed. I gave him too many chances and right now, my wounds are still healing and I feel that seeing him would only remind me of how I got the wounds in the first place. I told him I only want to be friends. Maybe there’s a chance in the future, but right now, I want to focus on myself. I want to love myself before I love someone else. Because that’s what he did to me. He made me hate myself. So now I have to start to love myself again. Because how can you even begin to love someone else when don’t even love yourself? I told him that right now, he’s toxic to me.
I guess I’ll end this here. I think I went a little overboard! Excited for replies!
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