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 Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:25 pm
Tired? Depressed? Angry? Guilty?
Are you in a struggle with your emotions? Can you find the strength daily to cope with whatever it is that is troubling you? Do you feel dead inside? Are you constantly sick? Do you feel like there's no hope?
Here's the answer that you have been waiting for!
JESUS CHRIST
Yes, folks! Men, women and children of all ages, step right up and receive for yourselves a little piece of the ultimate peace! Get joy for your sad little self from the duct tape of the universe! JESUS CHRIST will cure you of your sickness, refill your hope, give you your strength back, and He will resurrect you from your dead life!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I kid you not! JESUS CHRIST is the end all of cure alls!
What is the price on this product, you ask? It is completely free! Yes, folks! FREE!!!
What do you have to do to acquire said product, you ask? Ask for His healing grace!
"But announcer person, I have no idea where to find JESUS CHRIST!"
No problem! Just go to your local church and pray with a member! They will know exactly what to do! If you're not comfortable with that, you can pray in the comfort and privacy of your own home!
Warning! JESUS CHRIST is for everyone. If you are nursing, pregnant, thinking about thinking about becoming pregnant, suicidal, thinking about becoming suicidal, then this product can keep you safe. Not for barnyard animals, household pets, rocks, trees, plants of any nature. Side effects can include, but are not limited to: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and goodness.
“Is this Jesus-product you're trying to sell any better than any of the other products available on the market?
Many people recommend Buddha for example. The Buddha-product is well established and have a long history of many happy consumers. It offers you a well balanced lifestyle and a clothing of orange garment. Not only that but you also get your very own rice bowl.
Who can say no to that? “
Why, yes! This Jesus product I am selling is way better than the Buddha product! But one thing the Jesus product has that the Buddha product does not have is: historical accuracy! History itself tells us the the Jesus product has been tested and tried and found to be extremely effective! This Jesus product has been around for a millenium and billions of people have surrendered themselves to it!
The Jesus product has a choice of clothing yourself in any modest way possible, and not only do you get to choose the size of your china, you get your very own MANSION!!!!!
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:47 pm
Is it sad that I am on the edge of deleting this post.
It's hard to figure out if you are being sarcastic, calling Jesus a product.
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:53 pm
Not so much selling a product as it is offering the kingdom of God. I kind of agree with Para. Either you're really stoked for God, or your sarcasm has reached new heights. Question: Why sell the Jesus "product" to those who already have it?
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:17 am
Just the one the Christians already own is sufficient enough for them. I've been posting this in a lot of guilds. Christian, and Wiccan and Satanist and I'm working on finding more guilds that would be active and respond to the post.
I just post it in christian guilds to get feedback. Sometimes someone posts something sarcastic underneath it, and I add that in to the "commercial". Or someone pops in with something I overlooked and i put that in there, too.
I wasn't being sarcastic. Quite a few guilds loved it, and I was hoping I'd get some positive feedback. I didn't mean to offend, but sometimes you just have to be bold with your faith. mrgreen
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:20 am
Well its really cute if you say it with the right mindset. And a very interesting read. smile
But my job as guild Leader is to protect the guild members from those who are sarcastic and rude, so you have to understand I had to ask.
I think that it is awesome that you got Right with God again! It's an amazing feeling being in the Lord, and I will keep you in my prayers! heart
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:33 pm
I think it's awesome and a very creative way to paint a portrait of Jesus with words. Kudos!
One thing though, where it says:
"Not for barnyard animals, household pets, rocks, trees, plants of any nature."
Why not? If you think about it, Jesus' father, our father, created them. Why is Jesus not for them too? I thought Jesus is for all of His creations, not just people.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:38 pm
Imitation, keep doing what you're doing, then. I think it's a great way to reach out to the gaia world.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:43 am
luvableteekerz I think it's awesome and a very creative way to paint a portrait of Jesus with words. Kudos! One thing though, where it says: "Not for barnyard animals, household pets, rocks, trees, plants of any nature." Why not? If you think about it, Jesus' father, our father, created them. Why is Jesus not for them too? I thought Jesus is for all of His creations, not just people. Because God spoke all them into being. The most important difference between angels, humans, plants and animals is the humans are the only creature in the whole of existence that have been given the opportunity to choose. God got down and dirty in the mud and He formed us from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into our nostrils. We are the most unique and blessed beings in the whole of existence. While Jesus does love all His creations, like I said: Humans are unique in that we were given free will to choose whether or not to follow or shun Him and His works.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:37 pm
Stop posting these Drea, it was funny the first time, but repeatedly posting them is getting annoying. And it can be looked at the wrong way, like how Para demonstrated. A lot of people in the guilds will look at it as if it were a satire or proseytizing, many guilds will find some way to prevent you from posting. Instead respect them as you would respect yourself. Try putting yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone were to post this in your guild while you're a Wiccan, would you feel happy or angry?
If you want people to come over to your side, you're going to have to take it step by step. Posting this advertisement if you want to call it that, is a bad idea. It also seems like you are being condescending towards them and you think that their beliefs are lower than your's. Instead try having a normal conversation with them as you would with your friends. Try talking about general things like the weather, hobbies, tv shows, and then try and lead it up to God. But be subtle, use some tact. Remember that Jesus talked to sinners, however he was more respectful and tactful when he did it.
Love thy neighbor does not translate to just love but also to respect. You love and respect your family do you not? Remember that regardless of religious affiliation, we were all created by God. We are all his children. We all have free will. Just because some choose to follow a different path does not mean that they are lost. A simplier way of saying love thy neighbor is the old saying we've all heard in grade school: "Treat others how you would want to be treated". Remember to use Verstehein, which is walking in someone elses shoes. Be respectful and mindful of other's beliefs and they will return the same courtesy.
-steps off soapbox-
But I like how you put this in the right sub-forum in my guild. If you didn't I would seriously have to kick you. :3
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:01 pm
You have a guild? Ohh Linketh me?
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:03 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:14 pm
Niiice, I would join but I am not active in guilds. xD
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:17 pm
Paranormal Zombiiie Niiice, I would join but I am not active in guilds. xD It's cool. Just be active when you can that's all. We're still a new guild. So I'm not going to be strict on activity.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 5:00 pm
-Tsukiyo-Moon Maiden Paranormal Zombiiie Niiice, I would join but I am not active in guilds. xD It's cool. Just be active when you can that's all. We're still a new guild. So I'm not going to be strict on activity. Okay. smile Im not either at the moment. I will be in the future though.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:02 pm
I got some major betrayal issues with my family so that card didn't work, but I get what you're trying to say. Sorry guys.
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Reply
