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 Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:08 pm
I don't know who to turn to for advice, but here goes...
I've been with my boyfriend for 19 months, which isn't terribly much, but it's by far the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, and the longest. This is the first time I've considered marriage, and not been afraid of being "trapped."
I know it's too soon, that I'm too young, etc.
But I decided to look for interesting proposal methods, keeping in mind how a friend proposed with a blue feather, which was a reference to the Harvest Moon games. I came across the Zora sapphire from Ocarina of Time, where Ruto tells Link that she was only to give it to the man she would marry. It was perfect, because it's my boyfriend's favorite Zelda game.
So I ended up making a replica of it, and even found a small wooden treasure chest, which I painted in the style of the generic Zelda treasure chests... I intended to keep it until the time was right, and would encourage him to play through Ocarina of Time then, to make sure he had the reference fresh in his mind...
Well, this weekend he told me that he listed me as his sole beneficiary for his insurance, and that in order to change beneficiaries he'd need my signature...
To me, this says he's intending to be with me for the rest of his life.
And then... he decided to play through Ocarina of Time.
I feel like everything has fallen into place...
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Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:17 pm
I would make sure this is 100% the person you feel like you want to be eith in your future.. to live with them, and be a part of their lives in more ways than one. I had a relationship like this once and its pretty much in shambles now d=
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Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 7:32 pm
I practically live with him already, or at least did over the summer, now he's got a 9-5 job, so back to weekends for now.
And I find that we're part of each other's lives in most ways...
We've spoken about our futures, and our career paths... We don't bicker over stupid things, we agree to fair shares of everything [even decided that he'd gladly do the dishes if I do the laundry], and we trust one another...
I really do find this to be an amazingly healthy relationship..
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Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 7:36 pm
Well alright, if you feel like both of you are ready, its a big step d=
just remember your first post said it wasnt the healthiest relationship, and now you say it is d=
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Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 10:58 pm
theonlypie Well alright, if you feel like both of you are ready, its a big step d= just remember your first post said it wasnt the healthiest relationship, and now you say it is d= Um.. wut? "... but it's by far the healthiest relationship I've ever been in ..."
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:59 am
I'd say wait a while.
Better to be safe than sorry and such.
The concept of marriage is rather ridiculous to me.
But that's just my opinion.
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:34 am
Quote: but it's by far the healthiest relationship I've ever been in Pie, I think you read it wrong. I'm not in any position to tell you how to live your life, but I say, if you think it's the right time, and it's healthy as well as going to last forever, then go for it Rin.
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 1:06 pm
Yeah I did read it wrong. My bad =d
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:27 pm
/|` I've never had a boyfriend, so I don't really have any good advice. If he makes you happy, he's happy, and you really believe that it could work out, I think you should go for it. > .>;; -twiddle thumbs- But I really like you and your friend's proposal ideas!!! <3 Granted, I'm a Harvest Moon and Zelda fan. X)*`
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:31 am
Everything sounds very adorable and quaint. The decision is yours if you feel you are ready at your age and that it feels right to you. You should make sure that you are ready to commit to your partner and to the marriage. You should also be emotionally stable and mature enough for a commitment that comes with no guarantees. Is this the person you want to experience the rest of your life with?
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 8:15 pm
I've seen a lot of broken marriages, been caught in the crossfire of a few of them, been through over a dozen of my own relationships, have been the one turned to for relationship advice (and it works out well for those who put the advice to work), and all of this had hardened me against marriages for quite some time...
But I'm positive that I'm willing to take the risk of it not working, because I'm fairly confident that this marriage will work, and I know that he's reasonable, and that I would be extremely happy to spend the rest of my life with him...
All that said, I decided to bring the gift with me this weekend, but not mention Ocarina of Time at all, wait until he decided to continue playing, maybe even hope he forgets about it for a while...
Somehow in conversation we discussed how I'm really bad at keeping good surprises a secret, and then he decided he wanted to continue playing OoT.
Well, once he beat the temple where he gets the Zora Sapphire, I asked him to pause, and "going back to the topic of my not being able to wait for surprises.... I meant to wait several months before giving this to you, but it seems everything's fallen into place. This is a sign of my intentions"
And I gave it to him.
After obviously happy silence, hugs, etc.. he said he'd have to get me something, meaning a ring.. I said we should stick to our original plan and wait until we've lived together for a few months until making it official... to be absolutely positive we'll be able to tolerate one another. But, now he's completely aware of my intentions, and I know his.
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:46 pm
Doesn't hurt to go for it. And even if things don't work you, you'll luck out after a divorce anyways because you're a chick. I don't see anything you can lose here, so I say go for it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:53 am
I know this is kinda an old thread, but I got one thing to say. From what I've seen and experienced, when a relationship lasts a long time it's normally good for the first year, but after one year is when it can get really bumpy, so best to wait until the 1 year mark to see what happens. 3nodding And waitin' until you've lived together for a while is a good idea, since livin' together can make a huge difference.
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 7:51 am
It's been a year and.. almost 8 months.
We did have a bit of turbulence around the 1 year mark, but it didn't take long for things to work out. [3 days?]
He's planning to move out around the spring, so I'd probably give him some time to experience living on his own and move in at some point in the summer, provided I got a job and I was welcome.
After that, I'd want to make it official.
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:40 am
Sounds like an awesome plan. Normally people take things too fast and don't think 'em out, but you've obviously thought it out. I wish you two the best! 3nodding
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