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 Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:38 pm
whats something i can do to help deal with my own mother telling me how to raise my girls. my oldest is almost 3 1/2, youngest almost 8 months and my mother has never stopped. it just seems to be getting worse. she makes me feel awful, but i cant get through to her. nothing ive tried works, she just gets mad and yells at me more.
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:02 pm
[ ♫ ] [ ϟ ] [ ♫ ]
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
» Loving being a mommy 24/7.
Let her get mad.
Tell her they're your girls and you know what's best for them.
She's going to have to let you care for them on your own. Sad but true, she's going to die eventually and can't raise them for you forever.
She needs to learn to be happy with the role of grandma.
My mom and mother-in-law (to-be) are ecstatic to get to just spoil my son and then let me do the rest.
In my opinion, if someone tries to raise someone else's kids, they should just go have another of their own.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
[ ♫ ] [ ϟ ] [ ♫ ]
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Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U Captain
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:40 pm
I kinda agree, don't worry about her being angrey, just say "I love u mom but this is my kid, back off!" lol
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Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:14 am
My parents were pissed when we decided not to baptise him, I was baptised as a baby and I am glad to be baptised, but I think since he has a choice on circumcision, he should have the choice on being baptised or not, and I told my parents like it was and that it would not be done unless he chooses. I still have not heard the end of it either.
My wifes parents mentioned getting him circumcised and that conversation lasted about a minute, and I said it was a flat out no and I would not even consider it, and they dropped it.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 11:20 am
I can be a very harsh person, bluntly honest. I avoid unessary conversations and hold a lot back for other peoples sakes unless they ask or initiate something.
My mother tells me I'm a horrible mother and tries to raise my daughter too. But when she crosses a line I put her back in place. I tell her it's my child and if she can't respect me and my role as mother, she won't see either of us because I don't need that in my life it makes everything ahrder and more stressful. She also knows I'm dead serious about only letting her see us once a year (christmas) and moving somewhere she can't just drop by whenever she wants.
but thats just my way of dealing with it, I don't need help fiancially or otherwise from my parents, so up and leaving them and talking to them via the net/phone and snail mail does not bother me or effect my ability to be the best parent I can be. I am also the kind of person to eliminate as much negitive force out of my life as I can willingly.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:13 pm
Pagan Parents Guild I can be a very harsh person, bluntly honest. I avoid unessary conversations and hold a lot back for other peoples sakes unless they ask or initiate something. My mother tells me I'm a horrible mother and tries to raise my daughter too. But when she crosses a line I put her back in place. I tell her it's my child and if she can't respect me and my role as mother, she won't see either of us because I don't need that in my life it makes everything ahrder and more stressful. She also knows I'm dead serious about only letting her see us once a year (christmas) and moving somewhere she can't just drop by whenever she wants. but thats just my way of dealing with it, I don't need help fiancially or otherwise from my parents, so up and leaving them and talking to them via the net/phone and snail mail does not bother me or effect my ability to be the best parent I can be. I am also the kind of person to eliminate as much negitive force out of my life as I can willingly. I agree 100% and live about the same way lol
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Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 1:46 pm
My mother actually has an issue with what last name my children will have... (i'm married but its kinda a secret) She really wants me to give them my maiden name, even though my last name is the same as my husbands.
>.>
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Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:02 pm
That almost doesn't make since, funny how parents can be like that lol
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Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:47 pm
I lived with my mother for a while and she did the same thing. I ended up moving out in order to get away from it. When I moved out I talked to my mom telling her that she raised me well and that if I needed some advice from her I would ask her myself. That I appriciated it but too much just made me upset. She got it and now I ask her and she readily gives it to me but she respects my parenting style as well.
Jsut talk to her.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:26 am
My mom likes to try to tell me what I should with my daughter. I know she means well, and she raised two pretty normal kids, but sometimes I just have to remind her that my daughter is exactly that: mine! I hate being told that I should give my daughter her medicine, or that she needs more/less clothing, that I need to do this or that, or that this could harm her, and that she likes that. I know all of this stuff, a lot better than anyone else. I spend 90% of my day with her, I know her pretty well, and I can parent her just fine.
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:51 pm
My mom is so sweet, she doesn't overstep me. But what I would do is arm myself with information! Then tell her to back off because she is sending my child mixed messages.
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:16 pm
MoogleXMutant My mom is so sweet, she doesn't overstep me. But what I would do is arm myself with information! Then tell her to back off because she is sending my child mixed messages. I love your sig My mom hints at things by repeating them over and over. Like once sasha had a place of hair that was longer then any place else so she kept saying "I would cut that"
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Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:13 pm
My mother tried once and I put her in her place. That sounds completely mean however my daughter should only have one mother in her life and that is me. My father is a different story however. For a man who was never in his own children's lives he sure likes to try to rule them. He is no longer a part of our lives, not only because of that but because of several things that I do not want around my daughter.
Now your mother would be upset no matter what you say, whether you are rude or a nice as you can be. Stand firm and when she starts telling you what you need to do with your child, cut her off and remind her that the child is yours. A grandparent's role is to support, not take over. You appreciate the love she shows you both however not every child is the same and it's the mother's role to decide what is best.
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