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Tai Okibi (waiting approval)

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XxHell0PandaxX

PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:33 pm


Shinigami Profile

Gaia Name: AZN_BOOI
Character Name: Tai Okibi
Character Sex: Maleimg]http
Character Age: 18
Height: 6''3
Weight: 134lb
Basic Appearance: User Image

Personality: Tai is sometimes strict and mean. However, he takes his missions seriously and he won't play or waste anytime on completing a mission or task. Although he takes things serious he likes to joke around and be funny. He loves a good fight from every now and then. He won't hold back in a fight ever.

Zanpakuto:
Zanpakuto’s Name: susamajii kasai doragon (fierce fire dragon)
Zanpakuto’s Appearance: User Image
Release Phrase: Rise susamajii kasai doragon!

Shikai Appearance: User Image
Shikai Abilities: His sword's blade changes to a dragon and he controls it by moving his sword like Renji's bankai.
Attack 1: His blade turns into flames and he is able to move them with a swing of his sword.
Attack 2: Drives his sword into the ground and a wave of fire comes up from the ground and attacks enemy, distance is 2 meters.
Attack 3: Gives him extra speed every 10 posts.

Bankai Name: Rise from the depths of hell susamajii kasai doragon kami ! (fierce fire dragon god)
Bankai Appearance: Tai grows one wing of orange fire on his right shoulder with his regular katana and his left hand has a claw of orange fire. He also has a crimson flame tail.
Bankai Abilities: Same as his shikai,but faster and stronger and he can fly and he can slash waves of crimson fire.
Attack 1: Tai can stretch his claw out to about 50 feet.
Attack 2: Tai's katana's blade turns on fire and he can attack using fire waves.
Attack 3: Tai swoops down and uppercuts the air and slashes opponent 10 times.

Other Abilities: He is a good kendo user and he is good at hand to hand.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:35 am


Okay, I have some questions and Things I'd like you to change.

1. You put in your shikai ability that you can 'use' fire. How do you mean? Because if you mean controlling the element then that's not something that really happens in bleach, unless its coming off of your blade that is.

2. I'd change what you have as your ability to what your First attack is. Because they are basically the same thing. You put it changes form in the Ability but that is exactly what the first attack is doing. So make the first attack your ability as it is not really an attack.

3. Attack Two: Do you know how wide two miles is? I mean Jesus. That wouldn't be a very.. un-advisable attack.

4.Attack three: Just re-word it saying gives you extra speed. Then also put a limit on how many times you are allowed to use it. (Like Once Every ten posts or something)

5. Bankai Description: A Sun? Do understand the infringements a Sun, which is a star would have on you and everyone fighting? You need to describe the sun part better before I can accept anything. (Just so we know what having a sun up there would do? Because more than anything it'd start to destroy the surroundings sucking them in. So.. you need to make the sun more of a clear description.)

6. I like all of your bankai attacks, One thing I would change is that you can move as fast as sound? Make it a very high level of shunpo. Other than that thats a good balanced bankai in my eyes.



Once these things have been sorted out I'll accept your profile.

Jouju
Vice Captain

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XxHell0PandaxX

PostPosted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:02 pm


is it good now
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:34 am


...........

XxHell0PandaxX


Amath Mortum
Crew

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:05 am


To begin with, MY flames are as hot as the Sun.

Anyways, a few other loop holes and problems that 'I' see...

If your Shikai blade turns into a dragon-like form, then why do you have a picture of Clouds sword?

If your blade is a dragon, how does it turn into flames? You should probably be a little more consistent with the abilities of your Zanpakuto.

How does an attack give you extra speed? Wouldn't that be a passive ability? And wouldn't there have to be an actual effect from an attack to give the speed in that case?

A Bankai is a vast expansion of reiatsu, so what's the point of the wing, tail, and claw? Also, if it's the same as your Shikai, why did you list your Zanpakuto as a regular katana then? Would it not be the extend-able dragon?

Also, how do you fly with one wing? Answer: You can't. It's impossible, unless you were being propelled and lifted by some other force granted by your Bankai and the wing is only for show, which is pointless.

Once again, if your Zanpakuto is an extend-able Dragon, how does the 'blade' turn into flames? Once again, consistency and creativity are implied.

What is the purpose of swooping down and uppercutting the air? From what I can picture, the whole attack would make your character look like a douche bag, not to mention that an uppercut is a seriously close ranged melee attack, and would be impossible to execute if you were 'swooping' past someone.
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