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-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:41 am


Gaia Name:Hitomi Camichi
Character Name:Yuki Kaminogi
Character Sex:Female
Character Age:17
Height:5'8"
Weight:110 lbs
Basic Appearance: Yuki

Personality:She is calm and serious most of the time but when she is in a battle she tends to loosen up and jokes around depending on the persons strength. if the person is strong she will be more serious but if the person is weak she will mess around.

Zanpakuto:
Zanpakuto’s Name:Fenikkusu
Zanpakuto’s Appearance: Its basic appearance is a normal katana with a burnt hilt. it has a symbol of a phoenix on the blade near the hilt.
Release Phrase: "Torch the heavens Fenikkusu."

Shikai Appearance: Fenikkusu((not that good at describing what i wanted so this was the closest thing i could find))
Shikai Abilities: The blade has a constant heat coming out of it allowing it to bend in order to protect the user. The heat is just hot enough to allow the blade to bend but not be weakened. ((It is still has the resistance of a normal zanpakuto is what i am trying to say there))
Attack 1:Kasai nami a shot of fire is released from the blade sent flying at the enemy
Attack 2:Houku the blade becomes englufed in flames for a limited amount of time ((only about 1 minute)) increasing its attack power
Attack 3: none

Bankai Name: Tentou Fenikkusu
Bankai Appearance: the sword splits into two and the users body is surrounded by flames. the flames work as armor for the user but you could say it is a double edged sword. the user may be protected from the enemies attacks but the heat from the fire hurts the user if used for a extended period of time.
Bankai Abilities: control over the fire surrounding this users body
Attack 1:Hi sen a small beam like shot of fire from any point on the users body
Attack 2:kasai nami one shot of fire from each blade much like the first attack in shikai form but a larger and more powerful form
Attack 3: none

a little note i am sorry about the misspelled words my spell check is being stupid at the moment and really is not working so this wont be a problem for very long i just have to get it fixed quickly

i would like to be the 11th squad captain but if that is already taken i would still like to be the LT of the 11th squad if that is not a problem please tell me if it is ^^
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:54 am


Okay, There are some things I want you to elaborate on and or change.

1. I like the fact your shikais ability is to protect you, your staying with the pheonix theme. nice. But You have put the zanpaktou 'bends' to protect the user. Could you please elaborate on that and describe what you actually mean. Bending is a very vague word. (How does it bend and how is this benifical to you in a protecting situation?)

2. Attack three, soon to come... You either have a third attack when I say accepted or you will never get one, so if you wish to add third attacks then do so when you are changing the things I mentioned.

3. I would like names for the attacks if you need help getting japanese words for them use; This.

4. Your bankai appearance makes no sense. I understand that your blade splits into two. I would like description on what the two blades look like.

5. Your other ability is complete and utter nonesense. If you can't sense a persons spirit energy then how on earth would you pin point it?

If you amend these problems to a decent standard your profile will be accepted.

Jouju
Vice Captain

Dapper Codger

2,150 Points
  • Hygienic 200
  • Gaian 50
  • Member 100

-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:01 am


i will work on those problems and the other ability i can get rid of i have another idea i wanted to switch it out with anyway oh and thank you for the list that will help if i have a time limit for the third attack i most likely will just not have one then because i am running on no sleep right now
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:03 am


Your Zanpakuto abilities sound very close to mine. lol

Personally, I disagree with this entire biography layout. Leaves a lot of room for discussion and opens many doors to bending the character to better suit a temporary need. The format in which I did my character leaves no room for unapproved changes, and allows members to be exceedingly thorough with their character.

Overall, this character seems to be lacking in a lot of detail.

Very basic on the personality, and seems pretty bland to me in terms of creativity. Descriptions need a ton of work, and also remember that the 11th Division is a Skirmish Offensive division, meaning that they should all be extremely good in use of their Shikai as well as normal Zanpakuto fighting.

I would deny this character. Complete lack of any important detail and a little uncreative.

Amath Mortum
Crew


-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:09 am


amath i can see why you think it would be lacking in detail i do admit i am lacking but i am not going to be doing a profile like yours i just dont like going into that much detail and it is meant to leave room for discussion i believe if you leave your profile open you can give room for suggestions and critisim i normally make 1 or 2 profiles before i finish but basically i am saying this is just like a rough draft for my profile
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:14 am


Complete my List and I will accept your profile.

>>

And, There is no limit on your third attacks, only that if you wish to have it accepted you either need them or don't have them.

Jouju
Vice Captain

Dapper Codger

2,150 Points
  • Hygienic 200
  • Gaian 50
  • Member 100

-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:18 am


i am working on it thinking of names is kinda hard for me >_< i will get names up there soon but they will not be the best oh and something i forgot to mention amath i did notice my profile had similarities to yours and that was completely by accident im working this profile off another one i had i a different bleach role play so the profile similarities were not intentional sweatdrop
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:26 am


If all else fails she can be a lieutenant until she becomes powerful enough to become a captain. Not that I am putting you down. Sometimes it's a positive thing to be a lieutenant and then learn a bit rather than being thrown to the captain sharks. :3

xThe_Villainx
Captain


Jouju
Vice Captain

Dapper Codger

2,150 Points
  • Hygienic 200
  • Gaian 50
  • Member 100
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:28 am


-agrees- I can be a right b***h. =_=

xD
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:29 am


i have names up ^^ not the best names << but there names now i am just adressing the other problems and most likely i will not be a captianby the end of this lol

-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol


Amath Mortum
Crew

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:31 am


Hitomi Camichi
amath i can see why you think it would be lacking in detail i do admit i am lacking but i am not going to be doing a profile like yours i just dont like going into that much detail and it is meant to leave room for discussion i believe if you leave your profile open you can give room for suggestions and critisim i normally make 1 or 2 profiles before i finish but basically i am saying this is just like a rough draft for my profile


Well, I'm not saying that a profile can't be updated. I just prefer to be thorough. I hate RP'ing with a character that I have to remember unwritten things about, or come into a dispute about what can or cannot be done. Powers evolve and like in D&D, character sheets are constantly worked on. This just puts everything down so people can get a FULL understand of how your character works.

Mine simply leaves no room for unwanted dispute. Works very well.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:34 am


i get what your saying amath ^^ i can understand that perfectly i guess i kind of took what you said the wrong way

-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol


Amath Mortum
Crew

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:40 am


If I owned this guild, like I do with Bleach Eternity, this is how I would make the profiles. Then, a permanent copy would be kept in the Central 46 records for final reference. Then, all changes must be approved before the changes can be used.

Solid protocol and keeps RP disputes at a minimum.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:04 am


thats not a bad idea amath << i am still editing the shikai ability its just not right yet but thats what i have for it so far im trying to think fo something else to add for the bending thing like first of all a limit along with something else

-AnzysxPet-

Greedy Sex Symbol


Amath Mortum
Crew

PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:21 am


"The blade has a constant heat coming out of it allowing it to bend in order to protect the user. The heat is just hot enough to allow the blade to bend but not be weakened. ((It is still has the resistance of a normal zanpakuto is what i am trying to say there)) "

This should be:

"Fueled by the wielders reiatsu, Fenikkusu maintains a higher temperature, allowing the blade to bend or maneuver at will, subconsciously defending against unexpected attacks. In addition, neither the constant presence of heat or the bending of the blade, weakens or comprimises the structural integrity of Fenikkusu, allowing to it remain as durable as it's natural form."

Or something along those lines.
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