|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:49 pm
Gaia Name: Tackett01 Character Name: Vincet Black Character Sex: Male Character Age:14/200 Height: 6'0 Weight: 150lbs. Basic Appearance:  Personality:very kind, but make him angry and you wish you werent bored. Zanpakuto: Zanpakuto’s Name:Zanzu Zanpakuto’s Appearance: Release Phrase: Roar Zanzu Shikai Appearance: Shikai Abilities: divide itsefl into two axes conneted by a chain Attack 1: Ice slash Chants The command of the axe to freeze anything it touched Attack 2: Attack 3:Bankai Name:hail Zansu Bankai Appearance: Bankai Abilities: produces ice or fire lodestes, depending on the surroundings Attack 1:Swarm Surrounds the enemy with fire, ice, or both, causing them to burn or freeze Attack 2: Attack 3: Other Abilities: none
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:31 am
I am still not approving this, and I do mind.
I told you not to use my example.
Atleast your understanding abit better the attacks.
But I won't accept this profile until after you improve the detail side.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:10 am
Also, why is everyone applying with a Bankai? Normally, a captain is the only rank that has attained Bankai (with the exception of a few lower ranked Shinigami such as Renji, Ikkaku, etc.) Bankai is something that requires training and time, not something that everyone starts off with. Otherwise, what room does that character have to grow in?
Another point, your character is 14. How is it possible that he learned Shikai AND Bankai in such a short amount of time? That would mean that you learned these two things when you were VERY young, and I bias this off of the attacks that you have provided, implying that you have a decent mastery of your Shikai and Bankai. In my eyes, completely impossible, unless you had the genius of Ichimaru, Toushiro, Aizen, Ichigo, and Urahara. I doubt that.
Also, as we pointed out, you're 14. You stand at 6 feet and weigh only 100 lbs? I stand at 5'7" in real life and my lowest weight was 130. 125 if I was lucky. You're character is severely underweight for his height and would eventually cause health problems down the road. Let's be a little more consistent, shall we?
I do like the idea of the Shikai, being two separate axes thus manipulating two different elements. However, "freeze anything it touched" is completely overused, and should be toned down a bit. Think of Shikai as the middle ground between power levels.
Also, keep in mind that Bankai, if you even had one, is an EXPANSION of energy, meaning that it's form will most usually be large. So here is my question...what is a lodestes and how many are there? Are they tiny and in a swarm similar to Senbonzakura? or are they large and in lesser numbers similar to Konjiki Ashi Jizo? These are the things that need to be explained in detail, instead of just throwing up a vague picture and a few words that neither fit together or are spelled correctly.
(How do you wish your not bored when pissing someone off? I would assume that this should be wish you weren't born.)
Overall, I would decline the hell out of this profile. Complete lack of vital information, overpowered for character age, and with the exception of the Shikai, completely bland and lacking in any creativity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:54 pm
Amath Mortum Jouju I am still not approving this, and I do mind. I told you not to use my example. Atleast your understanding abit better the attacks. But I won't accept this profile until after you improve the detail side. That is how I normally review profiles. But Why should I give effort to those that don't reply with it. Also, don't throw your weight around to much. You've already ******** off enough people. (Also if you look at the post count you'll see that to prevent the profiles becoming over posted in, I delete my posts after they have acknowledged them, as I stated if someone doesn't take heed of my information then what do I care. :/ Also I have heard alot of bad things about this Rper.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:07 pm
Your making assumptions I never said anything about reviews. Did I?
Now shut up and go rp.
I need to sleep instead of worrying about what people with god complexes have to say to me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:42 pm
I'm sensing some hostility here. Don't be mad at my character. I designed it, Villian accepted it, and I play it. Nothing else. ^__^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:13 pm
I fix it now, but im keeping my banki
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:21 pm
Despite what Jouju says, I would still like to see some grammatical corrections and a tad more detail, seeing as you want to be MY Lieutenant.
Edit: Since you're gonna be my Lieutenant, I'm gonna hold you to the highest standard. Copy my profile skeleton and fill it out. I want detail dammit. biggrin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 8:44 am
i changed to squad seven lutenit
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:48 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
