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 Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 10:46 pm
 You want to talk about walking fashion disasters, darlings?
I mean, really!
Male or female, it's all,like, >tsk< "let's all get dressed up formally for the prom" or it's "black leather, black leather, black leather"!
(Not that I have anything against black leather, mind you, if you've got the tush for it, like Kate Bekinsale of "Van Helsing" and "Underworld" fame does!)
>giggle<
But... talk about dressing retro? Turn of the last century retro?
rolleyes Puh-lease!
And... Hey! Why does everything have to be done in black-and-white?
(Okay, with some red thrown in once in a while that isn't just blood that got splashed on you while you were snacking! I'll grant my fellow vampires that much!)
Hey! Guys? We discovered something new in the last century or so that you might want to think about...
It's called colorrr!
Try it! You might like it!!
Anyway... moving right along...
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:19 pm
You can't talk about vampires and the way they dress without mentioning the most famous neck-biter of all time: Count Dracula himself!
 If only because he's been wearing the same outfit ever since Bram Stroker (pun intended) made him famous with that dreadful novel he wrote!
Couldn't you just die?
I mean, come on Drac! The same dreary black and white pre-Victorian clothes for over a hundred years?
Ew?
Don't you realize that as the Lord of the Vampires, you're going to be looked up to by all of the other little vampires? That they're going to be copying you...
>shudder< ...and the way you dress?
Omigod! Just look at how many wannabe Draculas there are out there!
Can we say male diva?
Live with it, Drac. That's what you are!
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:04 pm
By the way, darlings, he doesn't always dress that badly. One of his "brides" snuck me this old photo of what our illustrious count wears when he's just "hanging around the castle". >snort<I just love the slippers, Count!They look sooo... ummm, shall we sayyyy...>ahem< comfy?Yes! Comfy! And they go so well with your robe too!>giggle<>sigh<But I digress...(I always wanted to say that!)>giggle<Speaking of the brides, by the way...
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:04 pm
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies!
I understand that Drakkie-poo's just an old fuddy-duddy when it comes to what his brides should wear but...
 Can we buy a clue here?
rolleyes >deep breath & sigh<
Does he really expect you three to hunt in those brighty-whitey nighties that you've been wearing for, like, forever?
Give... me... a... bleeding... buh-reak!
Don't you want to wear something else once in a while?
Maybe something a little more modern?
Something that doesn't glow in the dark?
Can we dim it down a touch and, maybe, add some color that doesn't come from one of Count Dracula's old hand-me-down capes?
(And, yes, I would love a saucer of cream with that-thank you very much!)
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:24 pm
How about something like...
... this?  Or this? 
Or, if you really have to go with that "Dark Huntress" look that's so popular with you lady vamps today...
...drum roll, if you please!
(Oh, thank you! That was loverly!)
Ta-dahhh!  ... this?
You'll notice I stayed with Count Dracula's favorite red, black and white color scheme. After all, we don't want to give the old fart a heart attack, do we?
(Can really old vampires even get heart attacks? I'm not sure...)
My point, ladies, is that you are hunting! That means you are the bait, right? So you've got to use what you've got if you want a decent meal!
If ya got it, flaunt it, baby!
Any questions?
I didn't think so!
Now...
Where was I?
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 6:23 pm
Ah, yes! Count Dracula!
Vlad baby, you've got to get with what's going on these days!
For one thing, lose that wooly caterpillar that's sleeping under your nose!
Can we say "Ewwwww!!!"?
Once more with feeling!
"Ewwwww!!!!!"
Those flecks of dried blood on it are just guh-ross, darling!
How about clothing that's a little more "up to date" and in a color scheme that doesn't scream "I'm a vampire" went you're out and about?
Something like this:
Your adoring fans are gonna just lovvvvvve it!
Especially the female ones that you so like to... umm... "nibble on"?
Well... just think about it. okay?
(Sheesh! Some people are sooo picky!)
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