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Love Toxic Kisses

PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:51 am


Pain
to the
head. A rush
of blood. A scream
is rattling in your ears.
You feel the blood fall down
your arm. As the knife digs deeper.
Yet the pain is inviting, as is sleep.

The
headache seems
worse. Yet it
doesn't bother you. Have
you always lived with this
pain? Or is it new? You
say it makes you feel less empty.
Is it true? Or is it another lie?

You
say it
shouldn't matter to
me. That I shouldn't
care. But we both know
it's a lie. After that you
left. And it was then I realized
that I was talking to myself.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:57 pm


Deep....is all I can say...

MissAnnathropy


Agorphia

8,950 Points
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:26 pm


Well written!

However, I would change this line:

Quote:
You feel the blood fall down
your arm.


That sentence can be made much more vivid by changing "fall" to "trickle." It's a much stronger describing word. :3
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 11:28 pm


wow im suprised i didnt get hate comments on this

Love Toxic Kisses

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