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 Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:04 pm
Here is where I'm gonna post my poems... Enjoy! ^_^
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:07 pm
I Can See It
I can see it….
The ending everyone promised,
The one that says I’m going to be better.
Yet as I walk,
I can’t help but think:
I’m unhappy.
Not with whom I am,
But more like something is missing….
Someone is missing.
I have changed to make my fairytale come true.
I expanded on my truths,
I shed light in my dark.
I even went as far as to change my outward appearance.
Now I see that this was for me,
Not for those who I’ve been trying to please my whole life.
It’s at this moment everyday that I see that I’m missing the one person I can’t lie to,
the person who I want to be with at night.
That person who’ll just hold me and say:
“It’s gonna be ok….”
I think of who they’ll be.
Are they going to male?
Able to shield me from harm?
Shield me from myself?
Are they going to be female?
With the blindess to look over my stupidity?
See me for me,
And not the person who’s been my tormentor?
I see my happy ending…
But when will it come?
Who will it be with?
Will I be the same?
These questions plague me as I walk.
The same steps everyday to my new life.
The one that makes me happy,
The one that has no skeletons,
The one that I made myself.
I guess the words I once spoke as a child are true:
Only you can make the magic,
Everything else is just a fairytale.
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:36 pm
Me
Is it possible?
Life is no longer the hell I thought?
But why do I still get that feeling?
The one that says that I’m being placated…
It’s still there.
I can feel it when I’m around others,
I can almost feel it in the air.
Is it my fault?
Is it the way that it’s meant to be?
Why must I feel so alone?
Do I purposely feel cold?
Do I purposely feel alone?
Do I purposely want to be free?
These questions plague me as I feel the falseness.
The people who decide to call me “friend”-
What is “Friend”?
Are they a person who knows the you that not everyone can see?
Are they a person who is there for you when you want them to go away?
Are they a person who can tell what you’re thinking?
Are they a person who thinks they know you best?
Are they a person who’s blind to your feelings?
Are they a person who is only there out of pity?
All these people I see,
Both old and new
Come together to make feel welcome,
But an outcast at the same time.
Is it possible that I am that ******** up?
I so desperately want to be alone that I have to push people away?
But then why even let me live?
Why bring me both salvation and devastation in the same form?
Why not just let me die?
I am here in pain,
Listening to my heart,
And all I want to do is to end everything.
Where are they?
People who I-
That’s right.
There is no one in this life that would want me still here.
I am on this earth to be miserable,
To put up a façade,
To let people see what they want,
To see what they need.
The people I see don’t care about my appearance,
They wouldn’t second guess my absence,
They wouldn’t care,
They wouldn’t know.
I lay here,
Contemplating my existence…
Life is nothing but pain to me,
Constantly waiting for the criticism that never comes.
Most don’t try to understand it,
Those that do?
I probably forced that understanding upon them…
Like my existence.
A forced punishment for those who do not deserve it….
Again tears shed…
And no one will care.
I am broken…
Unable to adapt,
Unable to see,
Unable to coexist…
My existence is that of solitude-
More tears,
These ones are the recognition,
The ones that show I know what I mean,
The ones that prove my story…
The truth hurts…
And this is my truth:
I am here and meant to be alone.
I plague people with my existence,
And I have finally realized this fate.
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Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:23 pm
A Feeling
This feeling,
The knowing,
The doubt,
The acknowledgment…
All these come when I do this,
The one thing that takes away the pain,
The only thing that keeps me away from edge.
Yet I know the consequence.
I’m not ignorant of what will happen…
The makings of a shell emerge.
Yet I need this,
You don’t want to see…
Don’t wish to,
Are naturally blind?
Or are you just to me?
I know that you want me,
And that you have a craving that I cannot satisfy,
But that person,
The one who you constantly kill yourself to accommodate…
I’m not blind to it.
I know because I have seen it before with others…
And in this instance,
I was the one being accommodated.
You don’t get the power they have over you.
They don’t get the pain they put you through.
They won’t see it.
All they seem capable of is hurting,
Trying to be original makes them your poison.
As you grasp for their attention,
All I see is your imminent doom.
You will constantly please him,
Him taking more and more of you until…
Until you are no more.
You will be reduced again to tears,
And all that’s needed is a simple “I’m Sorry” to make it better.
He will kill you,
I can feel it.
You won’t see it because all you see is your hormones.
You feel something primal,
A desire of sorts to help him, but you won’t.
All he will do is use you…
Because he himself doesn’t want to have any help.
He won’t get the help either because,
He doesn’t see the help he needs.
All you will do is help him,
Dying inside each time he tears into you.
You will cry rivers as he just stares past you,
And you run back and back trying to figure out
Why it is he’s done this.
As you try to figure out the man that will kill you,
And all he will do will be to keep on cutting you.
He refuses to see your heart,
The one he steps on.
As you hear the promises of change,
I will leave you to your doom.
I had my chance to help you,
And all I can do is to stare on helplessly.
I will watch you die…
And I will watch you resurrect yourself,
Just to die again.
I will mourn your death,
As I continue on my march of death itself..
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