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#1 A Bout of Madness

Madness. As it is offten said, madness is relitive. It was once though to be mad to wear straw in your hair. It was once thought mad to sit with your legs crossed under you. it was often thought mad for a lady to speak at dinner, ride a horse with legs over both sides, or to run for no other reason then to do so.

But I ask, what is it to be mad? is it a fact of the vast populouse's imagination taking in what they beleive to be a chip in the flat surface they beleive to be on? is it a disfiguration that mars the people, and everything they beleive they stand for?

Madness is standing out amonst that which is truly sililar. it is doing somthing different than one other, and making sure they know it. it is the act there in that one must inevitably take to not be like everyone else. Which there in begs that I ask another question.

What is it to be sane? is it to act appropriately where we are taught to act as such, and to act another way all together when we are in the public? Is it to conform to others thoughts and wishes? is it indeed how other people see us?

Sanity is as relitive as insanity. It was once normal to dress as flamboyantly as one would like wearing more makup then an eight year old finding her mom's kit, and speak as womanly as possable. it was at one time thought to be insain if one did not partake in eight corse meals taking a moment after the 4th to vomit.

Thus I must venture to say that in our hast to be normal we loose sight of what makes us ourselfs. In our need to be accepted we lose the values that we know in our hearts to be true. In our need to please, both ourselves and others, we can not see how selfish we all become.

In truth, madness is loosing sight of who you are, and thinking you are better off with out it. In truth, insanity is repeating teh same thing, over and over, and expecting a different result. And in truth it is crazy to give yourself to others, so that you can fit in.

As I have said for years. "When you start with a white canvase, and paint black dots, they are noticed. When the canvase is almost completely black, it will be the white dots, like stars in the sky that shine through. You do not notice the sky when it is black. but when the stars shine brightly, your eyes look upward."

#3 Overcomeing your demons

Being thrust in the darkness is frightening. At first, it is crushing, adn we are so fearfull. Eventually we get used to it, become defencive, adn it grows more natural to us. The longer we are in the darkenss the harder it's going to be to get out of it, and burst back in to the light.

When we are in the dark a short time, and are pulled back in to the light, we are very causious of the darkness. This causes many women to become gay, out of hating men. This also causes men to hate women, and abuse them so much because of what one did. At the same time, those that wish to defeat, and crush fear offten to the opposing. They seek the darkness, and revel in it to prove they are not afraid. I was among these, but I realized that that is foolish.

Those that have been in the darkness long enough to see the monsters in it know how hard it is to leave. One can only leave to another world of darkness, or be blinded by the world of day. this makes it hard. We know the tunnles and the shadows, but even though the night is dark, the stars will shine for us, and tell us that day comes. in the shadows of your most times, self made caverns, we can not see the bright stars, or the beautiful moon.

In the end it will be the sunrise that will save those lost in the shadows. It is wonderfully beautiful, and it is at both the moment of darknes and the moment of light. One can loose themselfs in it, and it would never be such a bad thing.

For the clerification of the sunrise in this mediphore, the sunrise is the moment when you step from the darkness. When the night ends, and when you realize that the day is beautiful. When you can honestly call yourself free. when you can run free, outside the tunnles where it is hard to streach your legs, and feel the wind through your hair.

When you are free, and when you step out of your dark world, there is nothing more that can ever take you back there. Nothing can ever be as it was in the darkest moments of your life, because once the sun rises, adn your eyes are accosted with the brilliance set there, your heart will never forget it, and you can always look back to it, and remember how much more beautiful the sunrise is after you see it with new eyes.

YAY!!! that makes me blush. ^.^

# 4 The true meaning...

Courage:
Courage is not the mentality of fearlessness. instead it is the knowing of fear and yet overcomeing that fear to better ones self. it it not that you are not afraid of anything it is pushing past it. to go and seek danger to prove your corage will only prove your foolishness. To walk with caution and be able to deal with a bad way is also not corage, it is bravery.
Courage is to step in to a situation and boldy fight in that way with nothing to gain foryourself. True corage is the sacrifice of one's self for another. True courage can not be measured, can not be seen. It is not something one brags of or boasts about. it simply happens. When one sees wrong doing and advances to stop it this is courage.

Pride:
Pride can be fore fools. To be proud however is not to be arrgogant it is to take what you do with love. If you can not love what you are able to accomplish then why strive at all? If you can not be proud of who you are what have you chosen to become? Pride is within us all, but it is only danger ouse in extreams. If I have no pride, then I want only to die. If I ahve no pride then I do not want for others, and only want for myself. If I am to full of myself, I can not properly give to others what they need because I will only tell them to look to me and they will see. Pride must be balanced. It is not Do as I do, it is not do as I say, it is "Be like yourself, modle yourself of of what you want, and ask me for guidence if I can help."

Humble:
To be humble is not to dismiss your achivments. to be humble is not to say you have done nothing, or to over look what you have done, or even to lessen what is admired about yourself. To be humble is to be aware of all the things that you have done, but to only be proud of them in a acknolging way. to be 'humbled' is often refured to as being put in your place, but this is a wrong interpritation. This is not being humbled, this is being humiliated, or taught better. To be humbled is to be taught the error of the ways, and to be guided along the right path. not to be kicked from a percived pedistul, and then ridiculed. to humble another, one must first be humble themselves. One who is humble, can not be humbeld. If the humbel humbles the arrogant, then one must after guide them along the proper path of disipline, lest they themselves become the arrogant.
Being humble is to take what one dose in stride. To not allow it to swell their ego, or pride, and to then learn from it. Bad, good, or just another lesson, a humble person learns from everything because they beleive that everything is a lesson. to claim this, and to then claim to be better than another is controdictory. A man who is humble will know, 'it is better to over estimate another. Then you beleive them capable of things you are not, and you will be carefull. To underesimate is to ask to be taught a hard lesson."

#6 Truth, dare, or lies?

Is telling the truth for the ebst when it may hurt someone? Do you dare to do what you would not least another tells you you are a coward? what do you prove if you do just what they told you to? what do you become? Is it a lie to tell one that you love them if you do not want to hurt them? Is it right to lie to save feelings, or tell the truth when it will hurt? Are you exussed from a promis by saying that you will, but not promising? or is that as much a lie as breaking a promise?

The truth is the truth, and it shall not only set free those who tell it, but those whom it is told. One can not live a lie. to live a lie, you become that lie. I beleive with all my hear that if you lie to try to save anothers feelings you hurt them all the more when you finaly tell them the truth of things, and finaly come to know that what happens was indeed yourself preserving your own feelings.

I ask you this. What if we would have told the truth from the begining? Would we have hurt them as much then, as we will from telling them now? I think not. but then, maybe.

And as for a promise. To break a promise is the deepest of lies. It is the most disgusting perversion of one's word, honor, and own pride. To break a promise is to not only slap that person in the face, but to tell them "You see what you get for trusting?" which is in it's self a selfish statement, but think a moment. if you say, "it will be done, I promise." and then let it go again and again, and again, what pride have you?

We as people are only as good as the next who stands beside us. We can be anything we choose to be physicly, as anyone is capable of any feat of power, grace, or speed with enough work. But behind the flesh, behind the form, and beyond how we act, we are only our words. Speak truly, or do not speak. Say what you mean, and do not skirt the issue. for a half truth is a lie, a broken promise is a lie, and to say that you will, and you will not hurts so deep that no blade, nor bullet, nor strike of God could compare.