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 Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:13 pm
I'm not much of a writer and in all honesty I should stop, but I enjoy creating things way to much. Before I post anything I was wondering if anyone would like to take a quick look at some descriptions of a little world I wrote up and have been working on. I accept criticism gladly and hope to improve upon any ideas, so feel free to speak your mind.
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:32 pm
This is a part of the description for the world, it's basically a number of the towns and villages. Some of the descriptions are sparse and I am in the middle of editing them as well as some of the others.
the continent of Vida
Kingdom of Melcos
The Kingdom of Melcos is a powerful military state ruled by a Single king at the top and individual cities, towns, and villages lead by dukes, mayors, and elders. The Kingdom of Melcos tends to be slightly more aggressive than most due to it's military prowess and being made up heavily of soldiers and merchants wanting to expand the borders. The kingdom has about 65% to 75% of it's population serving time in the military at one time or another, Men and women alike are expected to train and serve the nation and as such all citizens are judged more on actions rather than gender or race leading many to see Melcos as a place of opportunity. Melcos has very few internal problems as every person has only to do their duty and they are able to carve out a living with little to no difficulty. The small pockets of anarchy within Melcos are primarily due to the structured orderly government which leaves little room for individual freedom or chances to grasp wealth or power leaving a few In power and everyone else in service to them.
Red Mane
Red Mane is the capital of Melcos andis well known for its well trained gaurds and impegnetrable city walls. Redmane contains The capital building where all laws are made, the royal library which contains one of the largest collections of strategical plans and military text. Red Mane was built many centuries ago and now stands as testament to the enduring will and vigilance of it's people. Red mane is a city of order and discipline. Laws are followed and business is conducted with little conflict. The people of Red mane have long realized that to not only survive but to grow an proper order had to be maintained. As a capital Red Mane is home to many ambassadors and diplomats and trade flourishes along it's secure roads.
Rosetop
Rosetop Is a town built into a large mountain. The town of Rosetop is renown for its training of scouts and archers. The nearby forests are teeming with goblins and gnolls that are known to attack Rosetop constantly only to be showered by walls of arrows from the ramparts of the settlement. The people of Rosetop are not as strict or orderly as those of other cities or towns belonging to Melcos, rather they are rough and tough mountain people, many say the humans of rosetop might as well be dwarves.
Kingdom Of Estar
The Long lived Kingdom of Estar is one of the only Kingdoms to have survived for the hundreds of years since the continent of Vida took the leap from a collection of roaming tribes into powerful nations. Estar is a nation of knowledge and long has it held many of the oldest and most powerful scrolls and artifacts. Its population is made up heavily of merchants and businessmen that help bring knowledge and trade to the kingdom, the remainder make up the ruling council as scholars. Many a powerful mage, sorcerer , and warlock walk the streets making Estar a key place to search out knowledge. The other cities and outposts of the nation are rule by Powerful magic users that function as Dignitaries or Mayors.
Belator
The capital of Estar and home to many schools of magic and sorcery. The city is one of the most beautiful cities to behold Whitw and gold spires rise up out of the horizion and the paved roads and streets are always clean. Trees grasses and all manner of plants spring up through the numerous gardens that fill the city along with artificial ponds . Almost everyone living in the city has some tie to magic or some connection with those who do.
The buildings are in different exotic styles and the many little shops sell scrolls, parchment, books and magical ingredients. The guards are a mix of the usual sword wielding guards mixed in with armored mages. The city is divided into districts by elements, fire, water,earth, wind, light, shadow. The shadow district is where most warlocks reside, summonings of demons and other dimensional beings take place in almost every building at one point or another. The rest of the districts sometimes hold schools of magic that pertain to the district making it easier for visitors to find specific spells and or places to study.
One of the mages guilds have their headquarters in the city it is so large that it stretches across the light ,fire and water districts. In the center of the city is the largest tower, a multi tiered citadel it holds all manner of sacred and magical artifacts and its basement is known to house a few dragons and other magical beings. The city is open to everyone regardless of race, class or even social standing.
Beradas
one of the cities controlled by Estar, it is very remote and is inhabited mainly by priest monks and mages in search of knowledge. the city is full of narrow waterways, temples, and libraries, and the mazes of old buildings are difficult to navigate.
Dutchy of Wrynn
Feared for the ferocity of their soldiers and for the cunning of its vast number of agents the dutchy is part merchant part military. Caravans are always armed and well guarded and many goods that end up in other cities and nations travel through the dutchy first.
Monarchy of Ferus
The powerful Monarchy of Ferus controls many of the waterways and has an immense naval force. The kingdoms of the realm hold Ferus as an unholy kingdom, run by Necromancers, vampire nobles and Powerful Liches the kingdom wins little friends. The Capital and many of it's cities are easy to spot with its foreboding architecture of black towers and spires as well as rough brick and stone houses and gravel streets. The Monarchy is always trying to gain territory and it's use of orcs, gnolls goblins, Succubi, werewolves,and its vampire officers gives he perfect reason for many kingdoms to oppose any truce and or friendship. Despite it's army being heavily composed of monsters and malign forces the military is very orderly and both its army and navy are forces to be reckoned with. The necromancers and liches follow their King Meloderas the fourth and the vampires side with them in hopes of working towards their own goals.
Pelai.
Pelai is one of the larger cities the belong to Ferus. The city is made up mainly of black stone and bricks the walls are powerful and inside is one of the major army strongholds as well. The few beings that are not aligned with ferus but enter are welcome but they're safety is left entirely to them, very often rogues assassins and murderers on the run come to the city for refuge as no law officers would dare enter to arrest them. Life inside the city is about the same as anywhere else, shops and inns, bars and street vendors there are even a few temples for those humans and or other mortals who would rather avoid contact with the rest of the cities monstrous citizens. The city is run by a Vampire duke and his succubi counselor.
Mordir Aren
The capital of ferus A huge black castle stands in the middle built on a mountain it seems that the fortress is simply and extension of the land. The houses are well built brick and wooden houses the streets are paved and well taken care of orcish and gnoll gaurds patrol the streets and werewolf intelligence agents creep through the shadows looking for plots and collecting information also occasionally executing enemy spies. The citizens are a mix of Humans, Orcs, Gnolls, a few fallen elves, Some vampires and werewolves who take on work as officers and agents and the rest made up of goblins, succubi, and any other races and people that may dare venture into the city. The cities walls are tall and thick as they have numerous tunnels and rooms inside from which archers or wizards may open up slitted windows and attack anyone outside, there are many water ways in the city that people may travel through on boats and ferries.
The docks house the huge blackened warships and trading vessels that remain safe due to the locks and gates that prevent unwanted ships from entering. The temples were almost all destroyed by the necromancers and vampires but a few remain in the lesser human quarters of the city. Shops and vendors sell quality items and enchanted armor and weapons are a specialty of many. there are many pleasure houses run by succubi and their variously raced staff that lay in the shadow district, the shadow district contains most of the organized criminals and thieves guilds as well as having shops and black market vendors who can attain illegal and rare items for a fair price plus a modest insurance fee.
The city has some fine mansions and townhouses where nobles who do not live in the castle stay. In the city divisions can be seen among the races as humans choose sides based on whim, while vampires and werewolves remain rivals and enemies, the succubi favor the most powerful at the time, while gnolls tend to side with werewolves and goblins with vampires, orcs remain neutral. Even with the divisions many citizens are content to have a kingdom that does not shun or hate them they enjoy having their own land and lives where anywhere else they would be hunted and persecuted. The king and his counselors run things well and The monarchy of Ferus remains one of the largest threats to every kindom there is.
Silveas highlands
The Silveas highlands is a rich and fertile area bordering many nations. There are numerous villages and settlements scattered throughout the highlands inhabited by many races.
Vadyan village
A village inhabited almost exclusively by beast folk. The first to settle the area and create the village were the learned owl folk followed by the peaceful deer people of the nearby forest, soon vadyan village would grow and it would become a magnet for all beast people as well as men and elves seeking trade or a place to rest. For some time the village has been seen as a place to avoid due to the way many humans view beast people this however does not stop hunters merchants and even the occasional lost traveler from making contact with the village. Vadyan village is a large settlement home to a wide array of beast people of numerous talents and personalities. It is a neutral village holding no allegiances to any kingdom.
Ames forest Claimed to be the birthplace of wolves and the place where wolves and the first humans made a pact to protect each other. The humans that still live their practice the ways of the forest and are capable of communicating with wolves. The renowned Wolfram Engle was born in one villages that used to exist in the forest.
Delut Village
Atoro village
Midan
Medim
Brook shire
City of turmont
Erun forest
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P A Y A S O T R I S T E Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:02 pm
I have yet to read your second post.
But id like to reply to the first.
When you said your not much of a writer, i think that if you enjoy writing then you should keep it up. It doesnt matter if its any good or not, as long as it makes you happy.
Now im not much of a critique. LOL.
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:35 pm
your world is well descirbed and it sounds very much like a landsacpe from a fantasy novle
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:11 pm
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Reply
