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 Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:02 pm
I know its a romance.....and a poem but I'll post it in both forms
Love is not a Fairytale
Everyone says to go ask him about his feeling....
I'm to shy to even go ten feet from him without blushing....
All my friends have a boyfriend of some sort....
I never had a boyfriends, just boys that are friends.....
All the girls look like they are strait from Playboy.....
I dress and look like a boy......
They say that you can have a chance at love....
I say hell no, not every one........
They say love is a gift.......
I guess no presents for me....
Now for all the girls who would pity me and send me PM's to comfort me.....
I know my life is good....
My family loves me...
I have good friends...
I get good grades...
But it seems like I would never have love.....
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:08 pm
Get rid of the "..." at the end of each line. It's distracting. @_@
The beginning doesn't sound like poetry; it sounds more like prose.
Also, you lose the verisimilitude (look it up) when you mention "PMs." Make the poem so everybody can relate to it (that gives you a clue as to what verisimilitude is).
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