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Heres a sample form a story im writing. critisism is appreciated!

My heart raced as I ran and leaped over a wall. My feet barely touched the ground as I zoomed away trying to get as far away from my parents as possible. I knew they would never understand what I was so I had a plan ready for when I told them the truth. That truth was that I was a shapeshifter. Somehow the got unlucky and adopted me when i was five. I knew what I was and until now I had kept it a secret. This plan of mine was to run unitl I reached the shapeshifters, others like me. They had offered me when I was ten if i would like to join them and grow up without a secret. I declined I had to stay until I was old enough to erase their memory of me on my own depending how they reacted.

I ran into a park and slowed down to a jog. Seeing a bench i decide to rest and regain my strength. The bench was long and blues. A few places had chipped paint and the areas were rotting from weather. I leaned my head back and breathed deeply trying to keep my eyes from shutting, because once they were closed a slideshow of my life turned on and it was so horrible for seeing all the memories of my "family". I could't control it though. As my eyes drifted shut it automatically began. It always started at the day I was adopted. I was little and strong and no families wanted me except the Fallows. They picked me and hugged me and loved me like a family should. Too bad i was gonna have to leave them. Then it was a mixture of faster memories of us watching movies, going to the zoo, and so much else that sometimes brought tears to my eyes. After that it was the memory of the Shifters coming. They got me while I was at the park on my bike. It was the middle of the summer and they were cloaked in heavy black robes. THey seemed to be moving around unoticed by everyone but me. I didn't ride away I waited and they came over to me and told me who they were. I had backed away but then they asked and I believed them, but i declined because i wanted to tell them myself. More memories including my sixteenth birthday which had been a few weeks ago. Lastly today when i told my parents what I was. Their faces had been horrified and i had started to cry as I erased their memories and left.

Sudenly a barking dog aroused me from my sad trip down memory lane. I looked up to see a boy in a fancy suit about my age walking up the path with a dog. A woman was walking his way. She had a tight black bun on top of her head and a total I-am-all-buisness- look on her face. Her face pinched in disgust as he walked over. She grabbed the dog and she began yelling. I caught phrases such as "this is a disgusting stray" and " you will mess up your suit" and alot of "your father will very angry at you ". He stood there looking as inocent as possible and let her yell. Then she hit the dog with her purse. I jumped up and the first thing I yelled was "DON'T HIT MY DOG!"

SHe looked up and so did he. A red blush spread across my face as i tried to regain my thought but he just seemed to have those eyes you could drown in. "Um I said don't hit my dog." She stared at me witha smug expression. She seemed to be determining if i was lying to her. Finally she asked "So this is your dog?" I tried to look determined and replied " Yes she is mine, I lost her earlier and I have been searching for hours and I was exhausted so i dozed of on that bench." My story was believable and being a shapeshifter I had amazing powers of persuasion. She stare became a glare. "Prove it, prove that this is yours." SHe had me there. Then I remeberd I am a shapeshifter and I can talk to animals. "Her name is Lady and she will come to me too." I whistled an she wiggled out from the womans stern grip and trotted over to me. Lady wagged her tail and barked happy to be free. "Fine." The woman said angrily, " You proved me wrong" and stalked of forgetting about the boy. He smiled at me and i blushed again. My heart fluttered like a bird caught in a cage. " Thanks" he whispered and walked off.

I had a plan and it was to run away to the Shifters if when I told My parents what i was they misunderstood, but wasn't part of the plan was falling in love.