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Writing: Poetry

Tell Me A Love Story (What do you guys think?)

G O L ii A T H

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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:36 pm

I gave this poem some thought. Is it any good? This is one poem I would like to improve.

Please--Sit by my bedside.
Relieve me of my
Fatigue and confusion.
Tell me a love story.

Tell me how it all started.
Remind me of how strong and
Happy the beginning was.
Remind me of the great times.
Tell me a love story.

Explain to me how it all changed.
Why did the feelings fade?
I do not understand any of it.
Start from the beginning,
And tell me a love story.

-G O L ii A T H

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:08 pm

I like it a lot! The only thing that bothers me a little is starting with "I want" for the first two lines because you don't do that anywhere else, but that could just be me being picky. smile

5 to midnight
Crew

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G O L ii A T H

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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 6:33 am

Oh! That's how it was originally, but I changed it like the second and third stanza. I guess I forgot to change the first.

Writing: Poetry

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