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This is a awfully heavy post, but it's been on my mind so much lately I thought I should ask.

My mother was talking about a book she'd just read and was explaining the plot and it really got me wondering about the whole experience of being mentally ill. It was set in the near future and the main character had aspergers and the basic idea was that a cure for autism was discovered and the main character had to decide whether or not to become normal, and consider all the pros and cons of being a regular guy.

So, I was thinking about my own experiences and wondering if I would change if I could. But I remembered what my respite mother had said before to her youngest daughter about how even though this person they were having trouble with was causing a lot of problems, they should still be a bit thankful to have met her because now she's learned more about people and problem solving from the experience.

Mental illness is indescribably painful, obviously, but I thought that yeah, maybe I could understand not changing sometimes because I think being in this position might have given me unique understanding. The meaning of relationships with others, the nature of everyday reality, the bit of hurt that everyone has beneath the surface and just that I got to view things from the outside of society and maybe learn a bit more about its inner workings then others. And eventually a really, really great friend.

So, my question is this: has anyone else ever found a unexpected good (or at least neutral) side? Like a viewpoint they might not have otherwise, a spiritual belief, a friendship you might not have had, some element of your personality, a moment of clarity, a understanding of something others don't get or even think about, anything at all?

Yeah, it would be nice to be able to take what you learn and get cured. I'm still hoping somebody will come up with some breakthrough therapy and fix me so I can write books about these things or something without ever having to worry about going through it again.

I've improved my empathy skills, I appreciate the good far more, I've learnt to tolerate the bad and I've developed some great friendships. I guess I've learnt a lot in general.

There's not much I regret.

Like Kudzu said... I think it has really given me some perspective on what's important and what isn't (not that that's an "always" sort of thing). I see supposedly "normal" people freaking out about unimportant and just silly things... people saying that life isn't worth living because such-and-such tiny thing went wrong... and I just have to say to myself that I know how much worse things can be, and that while it may seem bad now, at least as not as bad as when ____ happened, and didn't I get through that?

I think I know myself better than I might have if I didn't have my illness... I know how to handle myself better in certain situations, and in the long run that this will give me an extra edge when I start being able to practice psychology after I get out of school.

Also, when someone says "well, I have this mental illness..." and I can hear the cringe in their voices that says "please don't judge me" I can say "yes, so do I." and we can talk about things that are really bothering us... it's like I can relate to some of my friends on a deeper level. It seems like so many people don't really tell their friends what's going on with them, they just gloss over the icky or sad or painful bits, but I wonder how real a friendship based just on the good parts of our lives actually are?

Sorry... I seem to have rambled, but this thread really got me thinking.

I definitely think I would take a cure if there was one, but I do agree that it has given me a unique insight, and it brought me a lot closer to my (now ex)boyfriend, although it's also what eventually tore us apart....I don't know, it's very bittersweet...there are some really horrible things about it that make me think that I'd love to give it up and have a stable life, but then, there are times where I wonder how it's affected me

But the other thing is....would you really be the same person if it weren't for the mental illness? even with the short stint on drugs I had, I thought I was almost a different person.....if you were "cured", wouldn't that also sort of be taking away a part of your personality?

I'm an autistic myself, and there are underground associations out there trying to stop the research for a "cure" for autism and Asperger's. I happen to take interest ni joining the cause, because I don't see how being sutistic makes me mentally diseased. I don't feel diseased; I just feel different. Yes, there can be ways for the family of an autistic (I said family and not parents for a reason!) to help the autistic cope with his problems. There are ways in which the autistic can conquer his setbacks. There should not be a cure for autism, because one gets better results from hard work than pill-popping.

Maybe it's the proverb, "Time heals all wounds," that made me the very social person that I am today, but people don't realise that it's not that the autistic is an antisocial by nature, but has trouble having social interactions, hence a poem I read called Autistic Shackles.

What the autistic child needs is people he can trust, and family makes the perfect canidate for what we need. I believe that I coped with my Asperger's, because I have six sibilings.

I'm going to stop ranting by now. I hit a brick wall in my mind, but you all get the idea.

I'm not actually saying that I wouldn't take a magical cure and be grateful.... I'm saying that given that there isn't one, I'm glad for the small blessings that come out of all that pain that I've had to go through.

i dunno for me i wouldn't change ... because it would change the aspect of who i am i have learned so many things about other ppl and how to treat them and to just listen to ppl xp i dunno i don't think i would change...

*black-nine*