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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:12 am
Respond to this post in the most literate, descriptive, and fair way possible, keeping the Anti-munch project in mind, and remembering that this is for your RP rank in the guild. You will be graded on spelling/grammar, remaining within the rules of RPing, descriptive writing capability, and your creativity in avoiding the attack. You aren't supposed to kill the target in one post, but you are required to at least avoid the attack and launch some kind of counter attack.
You MUST play the part of a normal human being with above-average training in either sword fighting or hand-to-hand combat.
The man sat in the tree, waiting for his unsuspecting prey to pass by. ((That would be you.)) Just as the man/woman stepped onto the path, his eyes narrowed, ready to strike. Soundlessly, the assassin tightened his fist around the blade he was holding. A single strike would split the target's head right open, so he just had to make sure his single strike didn't miss.
This was his chance. The target was directly beneath him. With only the sound of the branch moving as a giveaway, the assassin dropped straight downwards, holding the sword firmly. Continuing at this rate, the target's entire body would be split down the middle, and his mission would be complete.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:53 am
With the sound of the air whoosing past and the creak from the branch it gave barely enough warning to Lucid's ever-ready ears, he swung around bringing his blade up from its sheath in a smooth drawing action, he then fluidly brought the blade between himself and his would-be assasin. The metal rang loudly as they clashed together, with a minor switch of his wrist position, Lucid side-stepped the now falling assasin and quickly brought the hilt of his blade around to crash loudly against the base of the skull of his falling foe.
Gear's critique: Nice work. The idea is there, and it goes well, but you have sentences that are difficult to read because of bad flow, spelling and grammar.
Rank: Charlie
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:54 am
As I walk down I see a tree and I get a strange feeling someone is watching me. The sky was still and very quiet as i walk pass the tree i noticed the tree was moving.Then as i let my guard down scream slash i could feel something cold,sharp,and painful slide down my back. Still nervous and stuck from the shock i reach for the pain and retireve blood. i can feel my body getting cold as i turn around to face my assassin i stare him dead in the eye and say my turn!. scream i throw dirt in his face to distract him long enough to get his sword. i came with a full cresent kick knocking the blade out his hand ninja then a round house 360 to the face gonk . he looked like he was out but then he trips me sending me to the ground big mistake considering i fight better on the ground he mounts me and tries push the 1944 usmc k-bar in my face it was that close.i tought it was over cry everything seemed to go in slow motion and i realized i cant die not now. so i under hook his left leg and pulled it as high as i could then i quickly slide my other leg closes to the right under and over to a knee bar and bridged gonk i feel the knee crumble in his leg it sounded like a fat kid eating cereal. at that point he still wanted to fight but he was worthless now so i apply a rear naked choke about five seconds hes out about five more and will not remember me or his mission but i didnt kill him for some reason he wanted me dead i intend to find out twisted the end
Gear's critique: You have the basics. You described what you do, and the fighting style you employ is decently creative and resourceful. However, you have serious grammatical issues to overcome, and the inclusion of emoticions (smilies) is not permitted in semi-literate or higher roleplay. Also, adding OOC into your post (The End) without appropriate cause or marking costs you points as well. The final piece of advice I have for you is to remember that you can not control an enemy character's actions; you can only react to them.
You have good potential, and just need to practice and learn more. I believe this to be caused by inexperience more than anything else. This isn't a bad thing; we are all beginners at some point. However, your creativity is excellent, and I believe that you will learn well in time, as long as you are willing.
Rank: Delta
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:31 am
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:52 am
As Alex walked along the path, on a warm summer's day, he enjoyed the sounds of nature around him. So much, in fact, that he had begun to know the source of each sound, commiting them to memory. He prided himself on his ability to tell what was going on around him, through his sense of hearing. The trees rustled under a light breeze, his footsteps crunched on the path and...
Alex halted. There were no animals. No birds, no early evening foxes or small rodents creeping about. It was one of the rare times he had not heard them go about their business on his walks. Slowly, Alex brought up a hand, his linen jerkin rustling, and wrapped his fingers around the hilt of the b*****d sword he kept belted at his waist. Carefully, his eyes flicking left and right, Alex advanced further up the path. The trees shivered, almost in warning to the young man. He passed under one whose branches overhung the path, like slender tendrils of imminent doom, and the hairs on Alex's neck tingled.
He froze once more, rooted to the spot as surely as if chains fixed him there. As he waited indecisively, he let his hand rise from the leather-wrapped hilt of the sword, and brush a wayward lock of hair from his eyes. Suddenly, there was a furious shaking, the sound of leaves crashing against each other and the creaking of a heavy weight on the brances above filled Alex's ears. His head snapped up, as another man, garbed in outlandish clothes dropped out of the tree towards him. Alex saw the glint of a drawn blade, and hurled himself forward.
As he dove, Alex felt the tip of the seeking blade pierce his jerkin and burrow through the material. However much is sought his flesh, it would be denied, as the following length ripped the jerkin lengthways and tore free of the material. Alex landed heavily on his side, gripping the hilt of his b*****d sword once more. Climbing quickly to his feet, Alex staggered a little as he drew his own weapon, holding it in his left hand, extending the weapon outward in the manner of a fencer.
"Who are you?" Alex asked furiously, his face flushed and his hair awry. Stepping forward a pace as his would-be-assassin calmly stood, Alex gripped his sword with both hands. "Who are you?" He repeated, his adrenaline beginning to build up. When the assassin said nothing, Alex's face contorted, and he leapt forward with a snarl, twirling his sword in a vertical loop of flashing steel, the glint of which, he hoped, would blind his adversary. As the loop completed itself, Alex stabbed the sword forward at the assassin's chest, seeking out the soft diaphragm.
Gear's critique: I haven't a thing to teach you.
Rank: Alpha
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:03 pm
And verily, I sayeth, it hath been done.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:32 pm
Hearing the sound of the branch,i rolled out of the way,getting ready to engage in close combat with the Assassin,who was getting up from his attempt at cutting me in half.i ran over towards him and punched him across the face and went for a punch under the ribs.The assassin caught my fist and tried to slash me with a small knife from his belt.I kicked his knee cap and disarmed him,putting the knife in between his ribs and walking away from him,hoping the fight was over.
Gear's Critique: Grammar needs work, and you puppeted my NPC, which is against the rules of RP as well. You can only react to what the character does, but you can not control his actions. Your reaction was fine, however, and I see potential for improvement.
Rank: Delta
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:41 pm
Roger was out on a relaxing walk to calm his senses and morale after an extensive period of training. As Roger kept walking, he noticed the light cracking sound of a tree branch as an assassin had dropped downward above him, about to strike.
Immediately, Roger pounced back to evade the assassin's attack, but took a slash to his arm, for being moderately exhausted from his recent training. Sweat ran from his neck, letting him know that this fight would be difficult to win, so he tried to get out of it a different way.
*takes off visor to reveal his orange glowing eyes, which most people fear* Roger had hoped to at least scare his opponent if not, lower his morale and make the fight easier. The assassin spoke,Those eyes, I've heard a lot about you." " Who told you about me?" Roger responds.
Gear's critique: You guys have got to start reading each other's critiques before you post. For starters, asterisks (*) are never acceptable for actions. Secondly, you're the third person to puppet my NPC, controlling what he does. Your writing is solid however, and if there was a rank between Charlie and Bravo, you'd have it. But seeing as there isn't...
Rank: Charlie
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:49 pm
Sagi walked down the the leafy path, her feet crunching through the dead leaves and twigs. The wind billowed through the area scattering bits of foliage everywhere in its wake. The ambient sounds, however were not enough to keep Sagi from being ever alert. Years of training had taught her to always watch her back. Any rustling that was not attributed to the wind, or her loud feet, could simply be an animal in the bushes, but Sagi knew never to take that risk.
A snapped twig was all it took. Sagi was on the ground ready, her attention focused toward the tree where the snap had come from. Sagi didn't see him at first. Sagi scanned the area as quick as she could. She knew that a snapped twig in a tree couldn't have been done by the wind, it was not strong enough today. Birds could not snap twigs, she thought, they were not heavy enough. Maybe a squirrel... it was then that she saw him right above her head. She rolled instantaneously in the dirt to avoid the attack, but not soon enough for his weapon to carve a nice gash in her shoulder, causing it too bleed heavily.
"What the hell" she said out loud, holding her shoulder. The dirt blowing around caused the wound to get very dirty quickly, making it hurt like hell. She got up from the ground, and prepared a fighting stance waiting for his next move.
((On a side note I cannot believe I was not already on the list, I could have sworn I was bravo rank. Anyway, now i will be))
Gear's critique: Hah! I get to prove you wrong! Seriously, though, good work.
Rank: Alpha
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:54 pm
Sony walked down the path happily enjoying the nice breeze. He had just completed a tense mission and needed the relaxation of his surroundings. The calming breeze touched the swaying trees, causing leaves to depart from their safe havens. Everything was at peace, just the way he wanted.
Sony continued with his eyes closed, imagining himself walking through a field of sunflowers, absorbing all that nature had to offer. The blend of light colors, the simple smell of the flowers, the sound of the wind, the feel of the soft dirt beneath his feet and the taste of fresh air. "If only I can bottle this up, I could make millions....too bad." He thought laughing to himself.
As he passed a large Oak tree, Sony stopped and put his hand on the tree as if something had forced him to touch it. He then closed his eyes as he felt a chilling breeze. Suddenly a branch creaked above him and Sony spoke at once. "Wanna see a trick?" Sony asked with a large smile as the assassin came into clear view. "I'll make that blade of yours disappear."
The assassin had jumped off the branch, giving him a large amount of momentum. With seconds before the blade cut Sony down, Sony analyzed his opponent with blinding speed. "He looks light.....about 180 lbs., gripping the hilt pretty tight and its right in front of his sternum...perfect." He thought as he swung his leg back, sending him into a backflip as the assassin landed, missing Sony by inches.
Before the assassin could react Sony was already on the way back, swinging his legs with incredible force into the assassin's back. The blow pushed the assassin's chest into his sword hilt, piercing the ground beneath him until he was on his chest with the blade completely buried. "Tadaa. Thank you and come again." Sony said to the knocked out assassin.
Gear's critique: AAAHHH! No, Bboy! Bad! Bad!
Seriously, your post was ALMOST perfect. But you autohit the bad guy. Bad! Otherwise, your post was excellent. Next test you should make alpha.
Rank: Bravo
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:52 pm
((I'm relatively new to this Guild, and to roleplaying this detailed. But let's see how I do!))
Lila walked along the path, the cool air refreshing after her long day of training. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out in a serene sigh. She loved walking the path this time of day, where there were no distracting noises of cities or other loud annoyances. As she walked the path deepened into an area where the tree tops shaded the bright rays of sun, and the trunks grew bigger and the woods denser.
Lila felt her stomach flip, a sign she had always found as a warning. Trusting her instinct, she slowed down her happy step and focused on her surrondings. Everything was peaceful, mind the sounds of the creatures occupying spaces far off. A twig snapped in the distance and she jumped.
Silly little girl. You're paranoid now ... Lila mentally scolded herself. Suddenly, Lila felt the rush of wind pass by her as she side-stepped from under a tree at the last possible moment. She could have sworn she heard the sound of a sword cut off a peice of her dark red hair, and Lila was sure she would have been dead if she had not been so paranoid.
She took a few steps back and stared wide-eyed at her assassin. In all of her time, she had never been attacked before. She wondered what possible reason this man had for attacking her. "I-I don't know who you are ..." Lila stuttered, pulling out her own sword and raising it up, trying not to seem shaky. Her sword was medium length, but judging by the man in front of her, she wondered how this fight would end for her. "But no one attacks Lila Hironi and gets away with it!"
Gear's critique: If you are new, you certainly hide it well. Detailed, only one spelling mistake (we all make them from time to time), well thought out, clear, and realistic.
Rank: Alpha
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:54 pm
James walked along the park path, smiling. It was a perfect day, cool and crisp, the air still, not a single chilling breeze. He watched the ground, looking at the various animals of the park as they ran past - which managed to save his life. Right as he passed the tree, he spotted the shadow of its branches suddenly shift and shake. He threw himself into a roll, feeling a blade nick the back of his leg and realizing what must have happened. He came out of the roll, wobbling a little. That's not good... Attacked by a nut job with a sword and now my leg is injured...
He turned to face his attacker and slowly drew his own sword, his leg fighting to go down and take off the pressure the entire time. Finally he let it, going to one knee and smiling. He had only one shot. He pulled the sword back, close to his body, doing his best to hide the length of it. His only chance was for the assassin to close in enough for him to make a single, leaping strike... And the only way he'd get that chance is if his enemy didn't realize just how far he could reach, even on his damaged leg.
Gear's critique: I'm impressed. Concise and to the point, yet detailed enough to make it a good read. You followed the AMP, I don't see any spelling/grammar errors save for a slight/borderline run-on sentence in the beginning, and your reaction and plan are spot-on.
You all are making me so proud! *sniff*
Rank: Alpha
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:55 pm
((OoC: When I first joined the guild and participated in the battle against Gear, About a Year ago by my reckoning, I was ranked Bravo. Which is more than I expected, actually. Now I haven't a rank anymore, because I was never Re-ranked after the crash. Let's see how much i've improved...)))
Xeg walked along the path, heeding no notice to the beautiful summer day around him. While the birds and the flowers may have been pretty to observe, his own mind was busy in a tumultuous thunderstorm of thinking. His mind was troubled with events of late, and although he was always wary of dangers, his guard was not as tight due to his inner concern.
That may have been why he did not immediately notice the assassin above him. A creaking branch caught his attention, so he looked up and could only stare in surprise as he saw a masked figure leap down upon, holding a sword which intended to split him down the middle like a ripe fruit.
It took Xeg a half second to compensate for this sneak attack. He quickly leaped to the side, but was still too slow. The half-second of hesitation cost him, and the sword, although it missed it's intended target of his head, cleaved a slice of his skin and biceps off of his left arm. Cringing in pain, he continued to fly to the right from his leap. Off balance from the pain, he ended up rolling before he could aright himself again.
He drew his sword with his right hand. Usually he would increase his strength by grabbing the hilt with his left hand also, but his left hand hurt to much to move. Knowing that his enemy was out to kill, Xeg rushed forward, intending to meet his enemy in a clashing of blades.
Gear's critique: Definite improvement.
Rank: Alpha
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:22 pm
The man sat in the tree, waiting for his unsuspecting prey to pass by. ((That would be you.)) Just as the man/woman stepped onto the path, his eyes narrowed, ready to strike. Soundlessly, the assassin tightened his fist around the blade he was holding. A single strike would split the target's head right open, so he just had to make sure his single strike didn't miss. This was his chance. The target was directly beneath him. With only the sound of the branch moving as a giveaway, the assassin dropped straight downwards, holding the sword firmly. Continuing at this rate, the target's entire body would be split down the middle, and his mission would be complete. ************************************************************* Appearing to need a small breather from her brisk, long morning walk through the rolling plains that comprise the terrain of her home, Alida moves towards a likely looking maple tree that will shelter her from autumnal winds that carry hints of winter's chill with them upon occasional gusts which make slowly dying leave shift and rattle on their branches. Darker, clear green eyes flick like switchblades all around in three dimensions to keep tabs on her environment, even out here in the relative peace outside of the city: a healthy hint of 'paranoia' having served the femme quite well in the past. But even in her understated civvie attire, the quiet blonde's well-deserved reputation precedes her; vis-a-vis that unknown assassin in said tree, awaiting her in cover and silence. Genetically crafted, enhanced senses aren't what alerts her this time as she nears her destination, but that 'delightful' feeling of hairs rising upon the nape of her neck...the warning from the gut that something's off here, and likely means no good for her. With a canniness borne of decades of training and hard, oft-times cruel experience, the black duster-clad woman doesn't let on that she's been alerted by her sixth sense, her visage a cool but apparently untroubled one as she pads along on s**t-kicker boots toward what's intended to be the sight of her last breath. Beneath that voluminous coat - ready to be freed with a jerk that would tear away velcro seals - lurk a few of the tools of her trade - Benelli semi-auto/pump-action shotgun, gauss rifle/grenade launcher, and many other secreted things - but even her hyped-up reflexes don't have enough time to free either up in time. Nor does the cold woman want to alert that assassin. After all, he'd likely be sent after her again if he missed or was discovered, and she certain doesn't want a repeat of this unwise little scene happening again. Subtly wired like a spring beneath her long coat, ready for anything, the hard-featured woman stretches, sighs, and continues her facade of ignorance as she finally putters to a halt beneath the only tree around for a thousand yards. Almost as soon as combat-booted steps cease, and she's verifiably still, the attack comes... with that rattle of dying leaves preceding it, allowing 'lida to home in with her enhanced senses on where that attack will be coming from...just before it occurs. Straight down the assassin vaults from 15 feet above...and with equal alacrity, the mercenary darts, ducks, and pivots out of the way, nothing but air and the flap of her long braid's end lashing at the place the woman once occupied. Halfway through his skull-splitting leap of intent, the darkly clad figure realizes he's been found out. Gravity affects everyone to at least some extent, though, and his controlled fall continues to a four-limbed landing upon the cool ground, even as his erstwhile target has already ripped her long coat open to reveal what's beneath...what's now in her more-than-capable hand and pointed at him even as he tries to roll aside from his harsh landing, seeking escape. Not the crystal-hilted sword at her weapon-belted hip, nor the still hidden pair of bigger ordnance at her back...but a big, blue-steeled mutha of a Colt Python: the sidearm's steely surface engraved with indelible little runes everywhere but at ivory butt. She waits for that roll away to transition into an inevitable scurry up to feet on the assassin's part, the woman all hard and cold intent and thrumming, pent up reactions at this point. Gun divided by apparently normal sword equals rather lopsided battle, and the assassin knows it, already trying to employ his own smokescreen tactics to escape - one black-gloved hand jerking something out of one of his own beltpouches to cast it at his feet before running. Just a little too late, for him. By the time he's opening up that pouch, she's already clipped off two shots, their telltale, loud 'CRACKs!' shattering the near-silence of the country air all about. It's not bullets that emerge from the altered Python's muzzle, but two discharges of pure energy - blue-white plasma screaming over the air, leaving behind the scent of ozone, a faint hint of heat that's instantly dispersed by cool air - and the body of one now very shot assassin, who bears a pair of smoking holes through upper, left chest as the violence of those energy discharges slap his form to the ground. He's still in the process of dying when the cautious, jacked-up blonde lifts her pistol once again, mutters off in a tight alto to his writhing, shifting form, "Never bring a knife t'a gun fight, idiot..." then placing her third shot right between the eyes, the energy shot exploding out the back of his skull with a wider exit hole, while splattering his medulla into shreds, thusly instantly severing any reflexive actions his body might go through in death. Blood decorating the ground in liberal, growing little pools as the woman finally moves in close enough to toe at her erstwhile foe's still corpse, Alida still keeps her pistol unholstered, even while right hand draws her sword in a quick, economical motion from rune-etched scabbard at left hip. A few more, and much more brutal motions of her leg and foot kick the dead b*****d in the ribs, genitals to make VERY sure he's not playing possum, and then the woman flicks her gaze all about her out of near-reflexive habit, finally re-holstering her piece so she can pluck out some palm device from within an inner coat pocket, press at a couple buttons upon the little thing. A quick pivot in a 360 degree arc allows for a scan of the area, which is soon reported back by her device as being free of all energy signatures besides plant matter, her own form, and that of the dead assassin's, and finally she'll allow herself the small token of slight relaxation, signaled by a shallow sigh. Back into her inner, breast pocket that device is stowed in secure fashion, 'lida bending down - trying to avoid the blood of her foe spreading upon the ground - even as her sword-bearing hand swipes a curt and cruel motion to sever the hooded man's head from his body like it was paper. The grisly token of proof is soon stuffed into a thick, plastic baggie she fishes out from within a beltpouch - tied tightly shut - the merc then wiping off her barely bloodied blade on the body's clothing, re-sheathing it in scabbard with a soft, crisp 'sniiCK.' Another quick look around the area, and the woman will set in on pawing through the corpse's clothing, even his once-dwelling place within that tree, for clues at to who he might've been, and more importantly, who SENT him, then leave the body behind as she makes her way back towards...not her false home, but her safehouse...her TRUE dwelling, reachable only by a personal teleportation device once she's in the proper area. Never leave a traceable path. Just before padding off, Alida's clipped alto again intones only to herself, "Well-well, looks like we're gonna have ta do a deep scan 'n ID on ya, sugar..." to the bagged head dangling from her left hand, a vague hint of a death's head smile tipping one corner of her lips for a moment before fading into harsh chill again. "Yer' gonna be a nice lil' C.O.D t'whoever sent'cha t'snuff me."
Gear's critique: Oi, I felt like I was reading Shakespeare! You write well, definitely. You're great at description, and I really felt like I was there. BUT you made one extremely fatal flaw; you puppeteered my assassin. You are SO close to alpha. Review the Anti-munch project, and you'll be golden.
Rank: Bravo
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:30 pm
Kaya wandered through the wood, eyes and ears equally watchful for whatever may come next. She'd been ambushed no more than ten minutes ago, and, after a long and tedious torture sentence, had learned that a hit had been put out on her head. Not like that was surprising, but more than anything the woman wanted to know who had put the hit out on her.
For but a moment, she thought on this, until suddenly a sound above her head drew her attention. A snap of a branch, the ring of steel cutting through air, and her heartbeat became eerily calm. This was what she had been waiting for. Not even taking the time to glance up, as she was sure that wasted time would be her downfall, Kaya jumped backward and pulled her sword in one swift move. The image of the man in front of her didn't even register before she cut across where she saw the dark image, hoping to wound if not kill whomever was after her. Better if he lived, she thought, so she could find out more about whomever wanted her dead. Gear's critique: Perfect score.
Rank: Alpha
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