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Everyone likes a funny christian guy. Almost.

So I'd like you to post here any christian, christian themed or maybe even anti-christian (please don't go to far) jokes you've heard or made up.

Heres one I heard-

A rich, Christian man was talking to God, "Can't I take it with me when I go?" God always answered the same way, "NO!" Finally one day the man talked God into it and God said, "Okay you can take two suitcases full of anything you want." The man filled up two suitcases full of gold. When the rich man reached the pearly gates St. Peter asked the rich man why he had two suitcases. The rich man said, "It's okay I've already cleared it with God." St. Peter asked him to open the suitcases, when the rich man opened the suitcase, St. Peter said, "Why'd you bring paving?"

Also a bad one I said in History once-

Teacher- So why do you think Switzerland was the country guarding the Pope in those times?
Me- Because they have Holy cheese!

(Holy, holey, get it? Lame. rofl Sorry)

(Just so I don't mislead you the real answer is because the Swiss hadn't been in any wars previously.)

(If you don't get it, I really, really feel sorry for you. )

One day a baptist pastor, catholic priest and Jewish rabbi all got together. After some time of telling bad jokes and talking about their individual congregations they fell silent.
After several minutes of silence the baptist pastor sat forward and challenged the other two, to see who the better head of church was. The challenge was simple, they would go into the woods and convert a bear and then meet back at the same location.

A week later the baptist pastor returned to his two friends and they asked him how he did.

"Well it was a good time, I wrestled him to the ground and commanded the evil spirits out of him, and then I baptized him and we ate a good dinner, he'll be stopping by my church for the next couple weeks to take membership classes"

A week later the catholic pastor gave his report

"Well I found the bear deep in the woods and I sprinkled holy water on his head and prayed to his patron saint. He'll be coming to my church the next few weeks for his first communion and baptism"

The following week the three men met the Jewish Rabbi in the hospital.
He had scratches from head to toe and two broken ribs, as well as a broken arm and leg.

"Whoa what happened to you" the other two asked

The Rabbi sighed and wheezed out a reply "Maybe I shouldn't have started with circumcision"

Lol, maybe a little offensive to the other religion but it was still pretty funny ^^
thanks for the joke ^^

Hmm...actually no I don't, but I imagine it could be offensive for whoever believes in it.....

Ah...Well thanks for telling me ^^

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil
 Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.
 One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
 'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'
When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.
 The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.
 A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'
 But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.
 'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.
 And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.
 The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'
 Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'
 The nun fainted............

LOL, Thats funny as!

Lol!
That was pretty funny as well ^^