Welcome to Gaia! ::

I used to think like that too at the beginning. But eventually, it's going to burn it's own path, and you'll end up spitting it out at the first person who'll listen. My advice to you is to go see a school counsellor. It's free, and confidential. No one needs to know you're talking to one. I'm seeing one at the moment, and no one has a clue except my boyfriends family, but they were really happy for me. It's nerve-wracking the first time you wait in the waiting room, but, believe me, you'll feel so much better once you have someone to talk to. After that, it's up to you if you want to continue with this person, or if you feel o.k. to wait until the next "out-of-control" moment. Oh, one last thing. Cutting yourself really isn't a solution. If you choose to go see a counsellor, tell him/her about it, and they might be able to help you out. Just between you and me, I have at least two professionals on gaia, though I won't say who, as one wishes to remain anonymous, and I'm assuming the other one does too. Just to say that these people really do care. They don't do the job because they're paid for it! Think of all the studying at school they had to do for this!

Another thing. You might not want to hurt the people you love, but not telling them hurts them too. Who knows, they might be your greatest allies! Your friend (the bestest estest...) might not have been able to deal with the stress of carrying such a big secret. If you really think she was a great friend, then go talk to her. Tell her how you feel, how her actions make you feel. What have you got to lose?

definitely see a counselor, preferrably a counselor who specializes in sexual assault counseling. that was one thing that i never had the opportunity to have and so i've been dealing with the aftermath as best as i know how. i became a peer educator because i wanted to use my experience to help others. you don't have to go thru this alone, and i want for someone to be able to have the chance at the proper help that i never received. i'm sure that it will also help with the cutting, and i'm assuming that you are using cutting as an outlet to help ease your pain. self-mutilation is never the key, so i can't stress enough that you should see a counselor

I'm sorry....but I don't see what ur step-mom has to joke abt! I think she's mean! confused How can she be so insensitive? Now.....I haven't been sexually abused or anything....but I HAVE been in serious depression all my lfe. I finally broke free, but I DO have my moments, if ya know what I mean... neutral I have come to realize that all the pain and the hurt and the anger and whatnot---every negative emotion I experienced during my depression---were just there to keep me down! evil My advice to you: Don't let what that a$&#xho;le did to you dictate ur life! scream Oooooh! It gets me mad to know that victims are always the ones left with the guilt! Why is that?! stressed I know that you feel as if ur cloaked in a dark and heavy cloud (I used to feel basically...SUFFOCATED! ) and I know that it may be hard for you to understand this since ur still in the "thick of things" so to speak (I mean ur emotions are still raw and fresh), but I believe that in order for you to heal, you MUST tell what happened! Don't you have an adult (or at least someone older than you) that you are very close with? surprised Sometimes going to ur family is not the best idea. I think that you should report that idiot to ur school guidance counsellor or a church official, or something to that effect. 3nodding U should no keep it to urself at all----It's not healthy to do so. TAKE THE ADVICE OF THE PPL IN THIS GUILD! And btw, if ur best friend really IS ur best friend, she wouldn't be feeling or acting the way is stare