Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well,this is my latest story.
I think it came out decently,and it's my first "terror" story ever,lol.
I'd like you to give me any imputs,and also,please inform me about any language mistakes you may find,since I translated it from Spanish myself.


Maurice examined the screens thoroughly.
His hands, sleeved in his thick black gloves, were wringing nerviously.
Suddenly,the lamps of the room dulled , indicating that the patient was ready.
He walked to the door slowly.
When opening it, he found with a man of his same height, but much more robust.
He had the typical elusive look of a civil servant, and deep marks of glasses in his nose.
His bald head shined against the light in the waiting room.
Maurice gave realized that he observed him fearfully.
-Doctor.Are my results ready?
-Come in - invited him Maurice,with the nicest of his smiles.

The man walked into the room cautiously.
It was small and almost too dark.
When Maurice closed the door behind him, he only achieved to distinguish the multiple screens that reflected something that seemed like an encephalogram together with incomprehensible
data for him.
Maurice made him seat in a chair in the middle of the room, of backs to the screens.
-Doctor. My results?
-Yes,yes.Immediately.
While Maurice examined the screens behind him, the man sensed how comfortable the chair was.
He supported the hands on it's forearms and it didn't take long until he closed his eyes, feeling drowsy.
The chair was really comfortable.
He felt the hands of Maurice on his shoulders.
-Those black gloves - He thought.
The first time they met, a week ago, he also carried them.
He went to see him after the death of his father, some months ago.
His father always had been his main support, and he was suffering his loss deeply.
He had problems to focus at work, he explained.
The doctor had limited to assent with an odd smile.
He thought that he was an eccentric, but he was told he was the best.
A light knock in the shoulder got him back to reality.
He was now feeling the doctor's hands on his shoulders once more.
He slowly opened his eyes.
Maurice was not wearing his gloves anymore.
The light of the screens reflected a metallic shining where his hands had to be.
He tried to turn the head but it was impossible.
The "fingers" of Maurice visited quickly his neck and attached his face.
Then he was able to see it well.
The fingers were not fingers.
The hands were not hands, but an odd mix of meat, metal and wires.
Horrorified, he tried to get up, but was unable to move any muscle.
The chair was too comfortable.

Maurice observed the expression of terror in the face of his patient with a light smile.
He placed his hands on the man's bald skull and he pressed.

-D-d-Doctor... - Was able to say the patient.
-Calm, it will be just a moment.- Said Maurice,with a light tremor in his voice, as if he was delighting himself with a delicacy.

The patient felt the monstrous metallic fingers pressing on his strong skull increasingly.
He felt how they tore his skin,drilled the bone,and digged into his encephalic mass.
And then, nothing.

An hour later, the patient was shaking the hands of Maurice, sleeved in his gloves once more,and muttered a gratitude.
When leaving the room, the other patients that expected their turn in the waiting room observed him surprised.
On his face there was only a big smile,as if he never had any worry.
They saw him wait absently for the elevator and walk in it.

In his room,now lit, Maurice was wringing his hands nerviously, observing the screens thoroughly.
A good work - He thought.
While he was drinking a glass of water,the lamps of the room dulled , indicating that the next patient was ready.

Like I said,mistakes are to be expected since I'm not an expert translator.
Maybe you could point them out / suggest a fix for them?
I'm glad you liked it whee

To drag on? really?
Would you eliminate any parts?

Yea,I need to take a closer look.
It's also hard to translate the meaning of sentences from one language to another,I'm not sure if it works the same way.

Hummm,I see.
I'm not sure if this is a bad thing,that paragraph is supposed to be very calm.
Thanks for your input!