Green Apple Works: Mylin's Exaggerated Tales
Alright, Nancy, I'mma tell you a story 'bout myself. I know you already know how great I am, but there was once a time where even I was not awesome. Remember that museum we got kicked out of a few months ago? … Yeah, the one where I wore the wig with cat ears! I bet you wondered what they kicked us out for, didn't you? ... N-No! I didn't steal anything! Not from inside the museum at least! Here's the story…
I was seventeen years old; it was just a month after I began to travel. I was only given enough money to last me a year, but I--uh-- spent it. … Just don't look in my bag, okay? Anyways, I was utterly broke and I did not know a thing about the ruins, treasure hunting, or any of that. So, I turned to thievery, but not just robbing any place. I mean, I loved history and seeing that Sinatran vase, and that cute tour guide was enough to make me hop! … Nancy, this was before I even met you, remember? The Tour Guide is nowhere nearly as cute as you are(Though with elf ears like yours, you might have some competition). So, I see this vase and this tour guide had to snap me back into reality to keep me with the group. After our tour was over, I kinda sorta… No, Nancy, I never had--I mean uh, forget you heard anything! So, where was I? … I said to forget it(I can't let her know I'm still a virgin! I'm supposed to be her manly brother.)! So, I won this girl's trust and I learned about the museum and the security. That place is tighter now than it was back then, and you have me to thank for that. … Just listen and you'll find out, alright? So, apparently the security changed shifts every three hours at night, so I had a window of about ten minutes to pull off the burglary with no problems. However, I was a perfectionist.
…What, you don't believe me, Nancy? … Of course I was a perfectionist! It took me until I found out about the ruins to not sweat it whenever my clothes got dirty or ripped. … Yes, I do wash my clothes. If you're curious about when, maybe you should stay up a bit later, eh? Now, back to my story. So, that night I had a stakeout , and thought of my plan. … It only took three minutes to think of this plan, Nancy. …Well, you see, if the security guards couldn't enter the building, then I'd have no problem stealing the vase! So, phase one of my plan was to… No, Nancy! Why block the entrance when you can STEAL IT! This is why I wasn't so awesome back then: The entrance was heavier than I thought, and I got caught. … No, I don't regret it, Nancy! I'm sure if the security was just like it was, I would be able to steal it again! I'm much more awesome than I was back then. … I am not one, Nancy!
