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 Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:18 pm
I'll make this spiffy at some point. Not right now.
disclamor:
This does not represent my full ideas on something. this is a passing thought, often over expressed and by the time i am finished typing it, i no longer feel that way. this is a conflicting and manic collection of ideas which i use to vent. this is not a consistent feed of information, nor is it complete. i will not state who i am addressing, and i will change recipient every few sentences, more than likely. do not assume this is about you, or that you understand it. ask me about it.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:21 pm
I think I am going to start posting my s**t someplace where I can keep it. But I dunno where yet. Wave? Nah. Private thread in my guild? perhaps. File on my computer? no. I think...I think I am going to use DLS still. But copy-paste there, for my records. And some things, the things I cant put on DLS, I can put there. I'll try and time stamp. I think i'll post there, and wait until some time has passed, and I'll let Neil have the URL, if he wants it. Ski will find it, he always does. This will be the first post there. Support me in this, DLS.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:27 pm
 I like the post style i used to use. I want it again, maybe. I dunno. I like the one I have now. Reading old posts hurts. ******** will be home tonight, but I'll be asleep by then, likely.
~
XD sexy underwear which I will never wear. Well...maybe...dunno. *giggles*
~
Perfect timing on him being out of town. Now he will never know....
k. that sounded bad. He will never know something totally innocent which is a natural part of life, but I freak out about. I hate my body around the time of my period and I dont think i could so much as hug him without thinking about the blood and how horrible i look and how much i dont want him to ever think of me in the context of me having my period. another example of hating my womanhood.
~
 crush||snap||spring||art||me||
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:46 pm
Old posts ******** HURT to read. ******** all of you for leaving. or something like that. My head hurts and i want to stop reminiscing. stop reading. but i cant.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:58 pm
And he used to be such a nice guy....
~
My head hurts. A nap? I dunno. Come on, Bristol. Sleepy time.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:03 pm
oooor not. I cant have a normal ******** relationship right now. So I wont. I love you Neil. Right now...nosecretsnosecretsnosecrets. I need to be able to tell you things the way i can ski. I need to be able to talk to you without reservations, tell you about myself so that you understand the odd angel all of this is coming from. i dont make sense and i dont care. i might ask him to give yout his link. i dont know if you will look at it or not, i guess thats up to you. knowing you might read it makes my posts so...conditional. i write for an audience. but ******** that, i wont do it. ill post what ever im thinking and let you read it and make of it what you will. feel free to ask me about it.crush||snap||spring||art||me||
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:08 pm
I should check my e-mail, send this link on to Ski, not that he wont find it anyways. but why be difficult when i know he will want to read it? i am hesitant to show this to Neil. not because i dont trust him with my thoughts, but because i dont want him to feel he needs to read this because he doesnt, and its time consuming, and frankly, often rather boring. why should he be subjected to every passing though i think to type out? Why did i think he would even want to? I guess I am used to Ski...
~
I hardly use capitol letters, and then with some odd words i find myself doing so for emphasis. Its odd. crush||snap||spring||art||me||
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:44 pm
Just got out of the shower, and I feel worlds better. I need to clean now though. I need to wear a bra more often. once they go down, they dont come back up. not that i need to worry about my boobs hanging at this age, but in principal. see, little breasts are good, because ill be in my 80's and still be perky and happy. lizzie? she will have to look to her knees to say good morning. I am wearing a sleeping bra and its awesome. comfortable, and it works. and it really feels like a shirt. also, i think its pretty. not so much sexy, as just pretty i like the lace at the top and the fact that you dont have to un hook it as though its some sort of torture object(not that I'd mind torture objects if you were involved). I feel like showing it to you is that a strange thing to ask you, your opinion of my underwear? not really, you see them more often than anyone else. granted, i think they look better on my floor. (while that was meant to be sexual, it also serves as a good excuse as to why i havent done laundry lately. decoration.)i dont really like my body, but i feel better about it if i am wearing clothes that you approve of. sorry if thats odd? i dont know your preferences for clothes of any sort. likely i will show them to you because i think they are great, and that i am comfortable in my underwear, and being naked=/= sex.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:50 pm
Bristol?
*girly cry/shriek* WHERES MAI TIGERRRR!?
gonk
oh there he is. and damnit, after being on my mothers bed, he smells like cigarettes. /pout.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:00 pm
<3 Neil called me.
~
I hate shaving between my legs. but i know a lot of guys like it if girls shave there. i dont know how you feel about it. but i hate how i look and it just makes me feel miserable about myself and i dont know why. i dont like to see the scars.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 7:59 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:49 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:58 pm
to-to-ro, to-tooooo-rooooo!
~
Just you saying that, that makes things so much better. Thank you. You really have no idea how little things like that calm me down completely.
~
How is that a male film maker? assumptions=fail
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 9:05 pm
thats proof she poststalks ********.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 9:08 pm
whatever--fine. kill yourself. you can really be a jerk sometimes and you dont even know it.
~
well, ******** me sideways. i dont care, then. or at least ill try like hell not to. heading to bed, i think. night, neil/ski. heh. i no longer address DLS. Come on, Bristol. Bed time.crush||snap||spring||art||me||
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