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 Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:18 pm
I've recently been informed that I have been given HIV by my ex boyfriend, and I don't know what to do.
My doctor did those yearly tests for women and called me yesterday that she found I was HIV positive. I haven't seen her yet; I've been extremely busy with getting ready for school. I was wondering, though, if someone can help me answer a few questions BEFORE I go to see her. It would be helpful, very much so.
1 - What does HIV do? I can't really look it up on my own because I want to talk to my doctor before I tell my parents, and they'd see the history on my computer. I can't fake it as a school assignment either, as I'm not in school.
2 - Can it be cured? I mean, gone. Caput. Forever. If it can, but only some of the time it's cured, then I have some hope, I guess? But then again ...
3 - Is there some way to have sex while having HIV? If I want to have sex, but I do have HIV, is there a way to prevent giving it to my partner? I don't really trust a condom for that ... ADDED: Even if I have HIV, but its level is as low as possible, can I still have sex?
I might add more if I'm not sure about some, but please help me answer them, even if they are silly? D:
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:25 pm
x x t o k o m ii k o x x 1 - What does HIV do? I can't really look it up on my own because I want to talk to my doctor before I tell my parents, and they'd see the history on my computer. I can't fake it as a school assignment either, as I'm not in school. HIV is a virus. It is transmitted through blood and sexual activity. The final stage of HIV is called AIDS. When a person has AIDS, it means their immune system has been compromised to the point that even simple things like the flu can kill them. AIDS is very serious and generally requires a great deal of medical attention. x x t o k o m ii k o x x 2 - Can it be cured? I mean, gone. Caput. Forever. If it can, but only some of the time it's cured, then I have some hope, I guess? But then again ... No. We are working on a cure for HIV, but we do not have one yet. Right now we just have ways of managing it, living with it, and delaying the onset of AIDS. x x t o k o m ii k o x x 3 - Is there some way to have sex while having HIV? If I want to have sex, but I do have HIV, is there a way to prevent giving it to my partner? I don't really trust a condom for that ... ADDED: Even if I have HIV, but its level is as low as possible, can I still have sex? Condoms are the only thing that offer protection (other than just not being sexually active of course). Condoms are not 100% effective though, so there will always be some risk. If you want to read more about HIV/AIDS, check out this site. http://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/hiv-aids-101/overview/what-is-hiv-aids/ If you do have HIV, you are going to have to have long and serious talks with your doctor, your parents, and any future partners. That being said, I'm wondering if you're mistaken. Hopefully you are because HIV is pretty serious. But I'm wondering if your doctor might have told you that you have H PV, not H IV? I say that because HIV test results are generally ready very fast. Doctors will usually test you, then give you the results before you even leave. So it's not quite as likely that your doctor would call you later to tell you that you have HIV. Also, HPV is extremely common. It's estimated that 80-90% of people have HPV, will get HPV, or had HPV. HPV is a virus too. And it's the reason that women need to get those yearly checkups (they're called "paps" or "pap smears"). HPV rarely causes any problems, but it can sometimes turn into cervical cancer (There are other types of HPV too, and they can cause other problems. But if your doctor found it during a routine pap, that means we're probably talking about the kind of HPV which can cause cervical cancer. So for the remainder of this post I'm going to just specifically talk about that type of HPV infection). So doctors keep an eye on it roughly every year or so (some doctors only do it every three years) to make sure it does not turn into cancer. So if you do have HPV, that will mean you have to make extra sure that you get your paps at least every year. Your doctor will probably also want to do a colposcopy. That's basically just a fancy way of saying she'll take an extra good look at your cervix. It feels just like the pap smear except it lasts longer (about 10-15 minutes). She also might take a little tissue sample to biopsy (check for cancer). There is no cure for HPV. But most people will fight the virus off after a few years and will never get cancer from it. So for most women it means nothing more than a few extra doctor visits. And in the rare case that it does turn into cancer, it's easily treated. In fact, the doctors will usually treat it before it even turns into full blown cancer. Since cervical cancer develops so slowly, the doctors can see it coming. They can look at your cervix and say, "That spot looks like it's heading towards cancerous." And then they can cut it right out! You should use condoms so that you reduce the risk of infecting your partner. Even though he doesn't have a cervix, it's just better to keep it from spreading around as much as possible since he may or may not be with you forever. I wrote about HPV and my experiences with it and the biopsies here: http://www.peachdough.com/joomla/index.php/topforum/11-sex-ed-pregnancy-and-parenting/25-reproductive-health-pap-smears-and-hpv.html So read up on both HIV and HPV just in case. Talk to your doctor again and find out which you have. It's probably (and hopefully) HPV. Feel free to ask more questions about either though.
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:20 pm
Problem was that my appointment was set a half hour before a competition, so I had to leave right after it was done. It might be HPV, but I'm still worried, because my current boyfriend and I were actually going to have sex soon, we are ready, we've talked about it all, got the preparation and protection done, but now this just sets us back because neither of us know much about HIV or HPV.
The only questions I have right now is what if we do continue on to the sex, using the condom, but he starts carrying the HIV/HPV or whatever I might have, will that, like, affect him in any way? Other than possibly him having sex with someone else and giving it to her.
And the other; what if I want to have kids? If I do end up pregnant some day and have the HIV/HPV, will the kid get it, too? Is it like, definite, or a risk?
Other than that, thanks very much for your answers. :]
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:44 pm
x x t o k o m ii k o x x The only questions I have right now is what if we do continue on to the sex, using the condom, but he starts carrying the HIV/HPV or whatever I might have, will that, like, affect him in any way? Other than possibly him having sex with someone else and giving it to her. Well, he would get it too and have all the same things going on as you would. (The things that LorienLlewellyn mentioned, basically.) x x t o k o m ii k o x x And the other; what if I want to have kids? If I do end up pregnant some day and have the HIV/HPV, will the kid get it, too? Is it like, definite, or a risk? I'm not positive, but I think it is transmittable to children, yes. However, I don't think that it is a definite thing that they will have it.
Also, if you do have HIV, or even HPV, you should definitely go to a doctor as soon as possible to see what can possibly be done to help you.
Hope that helped at least a little bit.
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 8:20 am
x x t o k o m ii k o x x Problem was that my appointment was set a half hour before a competition, so I had to leave right after it was done. It might be HPV, but I'm still worried, because my current boyfriend and I were actually going to have sex soon, we are ready, we've talked about it all, got the preparation and protection done, but now this just sets us back because neither of us know much about HIV or HPV. The only questions I have right now is what if we do continue on to the sex, using the condom, but he starts carrying the HIV/HPV or whatever I might have, will that, like, affect him in any way? Other than possibly him having sex with someone else and giving it to her. And the other; what if I want to have kids? If I do end up pregnant some day and have the HIV/HPV, will the kid get it, too? Is it like, definite, or a risk? Other than that, thanks very much for your answers. :] DO NOT have sex till you know what it is. Second, if you don't show symptoms of HIV, but have it and it doesn't seem to ever effect you, you may just be a carrier, which means you'll still have a full, long and healthy life.
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:06 am
x x t o k o m ii k o x x Problem was that my appointment was set a half hour before a competition, so I had to leave right after it was done. It might be HPV, but I'm still worried, because my current boyfriend and I were actually going to have sex soon, we are ready, we've talked about it all, got the preparation and protection done, but now this just sets us back because neither of us know much about HIV or HPV. The only questions I have right now is what if we do continue on to the sex, using the condom, but he starts carrying the HIV/HPV or whatever I might have, will that, like, affect him in any way? Other than possibly him having sex with someone else and giving it to her. And the other; what if I want to have kids? If I do end up pregnant some day and have the HIV/HPV, will the kid get it, too? Is it like, definite, or a risk? Other than that, thanks very much for your answers. :] As Valgex said, do *not* have sex until you know what's going on, whether it's HPV or HIV. I'd refrain from touching each other and from oral sex too. Both HPV and HIV and transmisable to your partner and other people. If you do have something, always use a condom, but they're not 100% either (though they're your only protection against STI's). If you do have kids, I believe there's ways around it. If you have HPV, I think it depends on what time and whether it will affect the baby while it's in your womb. If you have HIV, I believe there are drugs for the mother to take while she's pregnant to reduce the rate of transmission from mother to baby. I don't know all the details though, so you can check online, and your doctor would definitely have more details. smile
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:18 am
x x t o k o m ii k o x x The only questions I have right now is what if we do continue on to the sex, using the condom, but he starts carrying the HIV/HPV or whatever I might have, will that, like, affect him in any way? Other than possibly him having sex with someone else and giving it to her. If it is HPV it probably won't give him any problems at all (assuming you just have the kind that can cause cervical cancer and no other kind). HIV, on the other hand, is deadly for both men and women. People with HIV usually have to be on medication to delay the onset of AIDS so that they can live longer. x x t o k o m ii k o x x And the other; what if I want to have kids? If I do end up pregnant some day and have the HIV/HPV, will the kid get it, too? Is it like, definite, or a risk? The kind of HPV that can cause cervical cancer isn't usually a problem when it comes to pregnancy. Although if it progresses enough to the point that doctors need to cut out larger pieces of your cervix to prevent cancer, that can make your cervix weak. And that means your body might have trouble holding a baby in. But there are also ways around it. Doctors can keep an eye on you and sew your cervix shut to force it to hold the baby in if need be (Again, this is assuming you just have the kind that can cause cervical cancer. You'll need to double check with your doctor though.) HIV, on the other hand, can be given to babies. And it is deadly for them as well. If your baby got HIV, he or she would also have to be on medication to try to prolong his or her life. And the drugs don't usually delay AIDS, complications, and death in children quite as successfully as they do in adults. However, there are drugs that mothers can take during pregnancy to prevent the baby from getting HIV. Those drugs are generally very successful (about 95% successful according to some studies). But you would probably not be able to breastfeed. Valgex Second, if you don't show symptoms of HIV, but have it and it doesn't seem to ever effect you, you may just be a carrier, which means you'll still have a full, long and healthy life. HIV is a fairly slow acting virus. A lot of people live the first few years pretty much symptom-free. So whether or not she has symptoms right now doesn't really mean anything. So, x x t o k o m ii k o x x, you need to find out what you have as soon as possible. There is a huge difference between HPV and HIV. HPV will probably mean a few extra doctor visits, a few extra pokes at your cervix, nothing more. If your partner gets it, meh (Again, assuming you only have the type that can cause cervical cancer. Verify that with your doctor. Other types of HPV can cause genital warts. They're typically very painful and not something you'd want to give to your partner). HIV will probably mean that you'll have to have many doctor visits, you'll have to have lots of drugs, you'll never be able to have sex without condoms, having a baby will be a big production, you won't be able to breastfeed, you'll eventually get very sick, and you'll die sooner than you would have without HIV. (Unless of course we find the cure before then or drugs to delay AIDS indefinitely, and we actually might!). If your partner gets it before a cure, that's a big deal. So as the others mentioned, don't have sex until you know what you have, until you understand what you have, until you understand what it does, until you understand how to be as safe as possible, and until your partner is willing to accept any risks. You can check out this site for more info on HIV. It's a bit easier to read than the other one I gave you and all the info of the various aspects of HIV are right there. http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/std/hiv.html# And read the HPV article too. If your parents ask why you went to those pages, you can say you're in a health guild here on Gaia and someone linked them in a post.
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 11:38 am
Thanks to everyone who answered my questions. I really, really appreciate it. I've made my appointment with my doctor today, and I did ask her if she said HIV, and it is actually HPV. Embarrassing mistake, really.
Me and my bf have already agreed to hold off the sex until things get better, but we've stalled for so long we're wondering if it'll actually be possible, heh. And the answers for the baby question really took away some worry, thank you. :]
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 3:35 pm
x x t o k o m ii k o x x Thanks to everyone who answered my questions. I really, really appreciate it. I've made my appointment with my doctor today, and I did ask her if she said HIV, and it is actually HPV. Embarrassing mistake, really. Me and my bf have already agreed to hold off the sex until things get better, but we've stalled for so long we're wondering if it'll actually be possible, heh. And the answers for the baby question really took away some worry, thank you. :] I'm really glad to hear it's HPV and not HIV. heart *sigh of relief* Were they able to tell you which kind of HPV you have, and what you can do about it, or will that be covered in your next appointment?
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