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Those Eyes
Those eyes
They seem to look right through mine,
but do they see all that is there?
Do they see the tarnish of time?
Do they see the pains of past?
Or do they just see my eyes,
mirroring them?

The glass like dirt
that conceals the truth, I hide.
Are they a good distraction?
Are my secrets hid in this muck?
Or are they on display for all?

Turn away,
so my mind can hide these memories.
Why do they bring them back?
Why do they wish to pry?
But why can't they hear those cries?

Those ever- changing pools
are all I have to bask.
Will I still this current?
Will I dry these streams?
Or will I get pulled down to the depths
as I appear to be?






{[Please comment..... Thanks]}

Thanks, and sorry about that but it is fixed.

More visualization. Put more depth to it. I just kind of has that toe-dipping quality to it, like you just scratched the surface of something much deeper. This poem has a lot of potential. And you ending line, it's a good one but it doesn't hit as hard as it could. Put more behind it, so that it has more force, and I don't mean change the line. Change the poem.

Other than that, it's a poem with a lot of potential. Just keep on tweeking it and adjusting things. Put it down for a while and then pick it back up and read it outloud. You'll find things that you can change, things you didn't see before. ^^

Thanks, yeah I think there maybe. I'll try to find it.

Thanks