Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I become struck with this crippling nagging sense of guilt, with shame, and a touch of fear that everything I'm doing is wrong/a mistake.

It usually hits during mixed episodes, or right before a depression. Thankfully it doesn't last as long as the depression itself, or even as long as a mania. Still, lasting for even a few days to a week is horrible. I end up trying to avoid people, because I think I'm making them angry, and I end up second-guessing everything I do. I worry about posting online when I'm like that, because again, I fear being misunderstood and having to deal with the repercussions of not communicating myself well.

I'm on Depakote and Topamax, but I don't know if they may have anything to do with this... They're both evil meds though. I admit, they keep things in control for the most part, both with the bipolar and my seizures, but omg I feel like they are killing me. My brother says of Depakote 'The flu, now in pill form!'

I get that all the time when I'm depressed. :/ I've always just put it down to my anorexia nervosa making me guilty about everything, like it does, but I'm not so sure. I get that feeling that I do everything wrong too, you're not alone!
When you're like that, do you get scared for people to even look at you incase they hate you or something? :S Because I do, just wondering...

you have bi-polar and seizures?
I do too and the seizures freak people out more than anything else
but I have a lot of mental/emotional things wrong with me that seizures are usually the least of my worries