|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mr cloudies best friend Captain
|
 Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:19 pm
So i was thinking of something recently.
When my mom first asked that if i was gay a few years back... She and my dad, both thought that i was just confused, and society had conditioned me to think that i was gay. Because it was the popular thing to do and such.
But the odd thing is, i had never ever been exposed to homosexuality as a child. When i was about 13 or 14. And i looked over and noticed a guy. I was like.. Whoa! What the hell is going on??
And i felt weird, because i mean. Everyone else was saying "check out that girl" "Oh man she's hot" And i was feeling nothing. And i used to try and force myself to be like "no i'm attracted to girls" But it never really worked. I was so confused up until i was like 16 or 17. Why the hell was i attracted to guys? Was it a phase? Will it go away? What would people be like if i told them? Would my parents disown me? I mean i saw it happen to other people. They got shunned by their families for this... I mean its a BAD thing right??
So i grew up thinking i was like deformed or something.
And what got me thinking about this was, when people say.. Oh being gay is a choice.. I just think of myself in that state. Terrified of people knowing. Wanting to move away so i could start over somewhere else and never have to tell my family.
I used to be scared.. I had friends say how they admitted to being homophobic and were proud of that. How disgusting gay people were.
So i get kind of offended when people say its a choice now. Because if it were a choice i doubt i would have sat there hours on end saying over and over to myself "No i'm not gay, i'm not i'm not."
Well this got a lot more personal then i thought it would! sweatdrop
I apologize. I'll make a weird random blog for my next one that isn't quite so ranting about my personal life. XD
But anyway. My question to you is this:
Are you proud of who you are as a person? Did it take you a long time to get proud of who you are?
And if not. Then get started now, because you should be proud. And life's way too short.
Okay my "Lifetime" rant is over. XD
 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:22 pm
I accept being gay :l
I'm just not ready to tell others.
That and my reputation is too good to ruin it in my homophobic neighborhood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mr cloudies best friend Captain
|
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:24 pm
Craptacular Poptarts I accept being gay :l
I'm just not ready to tell others.
That and my reputation is too good to ruin it in my homophobic neighborhood.
Yes i wouldn't have my life any other way now.
Eh, when your ready you'll let everyone know. There isn't any rush on it. XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:30 pm
mr cloudies best friend Craptacular Poptarts I accept being gay :l
I'm just not ready to tell others.
That and my reputation is too good to ruin it in my homophobic neighborhood.
Yes i wouldn't have my life any other way now.
Eh, when your ready you'll let everyone know. There isn't any rush on it. XD
I can't even picture my self as straight tbh. It's all... Ugh no. I've told my self that I LOVE this.
And I do XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mr cloudies best friend Captain
|
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:45 pm
Craptacular Poptarts mr cloudies best friend Craptacular Poptarts I accept being gay :l
I'm just not ready to tell others.
That and my reputation is too good to ruin it in my homophobic neighborhood.
Yes i wouldn't have my life any other way now.
Eh, when your ready you'll let everyone know. There isn't any rush on it. XD
I can't even picture my self as straight tbh. It's all... Ugh no. I've told my self that I LOVE this.
And I do XD
I do now.
It took me a while to get there. But i'm very happy with the way things are. How my brother and sister put it. I help balance the family out and make us more culturally diverse. XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:12 pm
Well, I am straight.
So I mean, I didn't have to really say anything about that.
But even if I did, I would still be happy with however I was.
I used to have a lot of pride in myself, on the outside I put on a facade, yet on the inside, I'm just not so sure anymore...I have my moments, as everyone does I am sure, where I doubt myself. But after certain choices...I am really hard on myself, and don't think I could begin to forgive what I did.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bendii Straw Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mr cloudies best friend Captain
|
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:20 pm
Bendii Straw
Well, I am straight.
So I mean, I didn't have to really say anything about that.
But even if I did, I would still be happy with however I was.
I used to have a lot of pride in myself, on the outside I put on a facade, yet on the inside, I'm just not so sure anymore...I have my moments, as everyone does I am sure, where I doubt myself. But after certain choices...I am really hard on myself, and don't think I could begin to forgive what I did.
I know what you mean. There are definitely some things i have done and that have been done to me that always come back to me.
I certainly have some skeletons in the ol closet. And they come back to haunt me regularly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:13 pm
I am happy to be who I am for the most part. I enjoy being gay because it is who I am.
However, there are times where it gets hard and annoying. Like the whole complication of telling family, being worried that it's just a phase and most of all, the worry that since there are not as many gay people as straight people, I fear that I will be lonely.
People say to me "Hes gay, you should go out with him", that would be like me saying to my friends "look, a female, you should date her because she fits your sexual orientation"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mr cloudies best friend Captain
|
Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 3:48 pm
matthew_rs7 I am happy to be who I am for the most part. I enjoy being gay because it is who I am. However, there are times where it gets hard and annoying. Like the whole complication of telling family, being worried that it's just a phase and most of all, the worry that since there are not as many gay people as straight people, I fear that I will be lonely. People say to me "Hes gay, you should go out with him", that would be like me saying to my friends "look, a female, you should date her because she fits your sexual orientation"
I have that problem..
I don't care for most gay guys. I want a mechanic sorta guy, who appreciates art. And is intellectual, its a rare breed, but i have to find someone that i can be happy with.
I wouldn't be able to be happy with a guy who lisps, and is the stereotypical sassy gay guy thing...
Thats not me, or who i want to be.
Its definitely more complicated to be gay. And its annoying to see a really attractive person walking down the street, then see him holding hands with his girlfriend.. There aren't as many gay guys as there is straight... neutral
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:45 pm
I am definitely proud of myself as a person. There are certainly things I'd change, but overall, I like me.
The problems I have to deal with aren't surrounding sexual orientation, but weight.
It is something I dislike, but I've finally realized that it's something I'm just going to have to work at changing. Over time.
I do let myself get stepped on, and I'm gullible, and I try too hard to please everyone. But those are just things I'll have to work out, as well.
On a side note, 2 really nice, cute guys moved into my town, and wouldn't you know it, they're gay. I know that demographically there are more straight guys in the US, but sometimes everyone feels like that.
All the good looking ones are unavailable. crying
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
