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 Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 12:51 pm
Have you ever been faced with or by something that somehow controls you? By control, I mean it, she, or he has the power to influence you greatly, regardless of the power of your own will. An example of this could be when one falls in love. The heart apparently controls the mind, your actions, and such. How about it? Ever happened to you? If so, with what? Please explain. [edit]
I'm sure we all know everything is relative. It is ironic that I made this question in such a general sense; and the poll, rather specific.
Still the options in it can be observed as being general, too. I don't think ideas, thoughts, actions, or anything; can or should be classified as obvious, universally.
Also, I don't consider the poll to have more importance than what it, as a minimum, should.
So don't worry too much about it. Thank you for the observation, though.
I guess what I'm looking for here is a share of the following:
a) Any experience in which you felt relatively influenced or dominated by anything or anyone, and
b) A definition that satisfies "dominance" or the feeling in the context of your story.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:39 pm
I think your poll is missing the obvious option of "No" or "Not really". It expresses a bias that domination must automatically occur in everyone's lives.
There is of course a certain level of a hierarchy in most work settings. Mostly everyone has had a boss that they are subordinate to. However, I still wouldn't describe any of my experiences as domination.
On a personal level, there have also been a few, very few people who have greatly influenced me, but I definitely wouldn't describe that as domination either.
I also have to clarify what you mean by domination. Are we talking in a general sense as I have written above, only in personal settings, only in romantic relationships, or a much more specific application like BDSM?
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:53 pm
Relatively, we have been influenced at least once in our lives.
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Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 1:52 pm
I'm sorry, but you seem to relate two terms to each other that are nearly polar opposites in the context of this question, if not entirely so.
Domination gives a sense of a strongly negative aspect to it where the receiver lacks control over his or her situation (aside from a few exceptions). It's something forced onto a person that either the person accepts grudgingly due to circumstances or attempts to reject outright.
Influence is a far more neutral term that can be positive or negative. In this case, I assume you're looking for positive influences in people's lives. Positive influence, unlike domination, grants the one being influenced control over what extent the influence is and what parts of it affect him or her.
Basically, 'domination' gives the impression of a boss or some kind of superior that a person must follow out of duty or contract, whereas 'influence' suggests a mentor, idol, best friend, etc.
I understand your argument about the meaning of words and ideas being relative, but there are limits to what is relative. When you write something out in the English language, it must be consistent enough in general meaning so that the majority of people can interpret what you mean sufficiently. For example, while everyone has different viewpoints on what the words 'okay' and 'good' may mean in specific circumstances, there is generally going to be a perceived difference for most people if you respond to the question of "How are you?" with "I'm okay" rather than "I'm good". You have to be careful when substituting one word for another to ensure that the true meaning of what you're saying carries across and another unintended one doesn't occur that confuses your audience.
Also, Mikusagi hasn't said anything on this yet, but I have to question how you tie all this into asexuality because this topic is perhaps a bit deviated from the overall subject of this forum.
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Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:17 pm
Anyways, to address the question as I understand it, there's one person in particular who has influenced me greatly over many years. I would describe her as my closest friend, and we think alike on a lot of things. She helped me through some difficult periods in my life and essentially provided me with an encouraging alternative to some of the viewpoints and beliefs I had been previously exposed to via my parents.
She's also just such a wonderful, caring person who tries so hard to advocate important social issues, even in the face of adversity when others may oppose such ideas for change and ridicule it. As much as I know that I don't have even half of her incredible passion for these things, I admire her very much and feel inspired enough on occasion to voice my own opinion in support of such issues too. 3nodding
I can already think of one or two other people who I admire for the same reason, although I'm not quite as close to them as I have been with the person I mention above.
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 2:45 am
only things that significantky influence me are my dreams and my best friend.......^^
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Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 6:35 pm
I suppose, as a way to tie what I think may be an asexual context, there are certain feelings and thoughts I have on subjects that rule the way I react to many social interactions.
Dunno if that might be the connection you're looking for Tifey_Lewis.
In my experiences I am always working against or outside of something so it could stand to reason that in a round about way, the presence of sexual culture informs the level of resistance I have to it.
Dreams were mentioned; the idea of asexual "sexual" fantasies is something that can creep into some of our minds from time to time seeking to dominate us or drive us to relieve them in some way. We could in fact be living under the domination of a re-occurring daydream/fantasy if that's what you're getting at.
But as GuardianCentauri pointed out, I'm not sure what exactly your question is getting at specifically.
Perhaps try sharing your own example and maybe we can catch on as to your deeper meaning.
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