|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:02 pm
Username : LunaRei_SilverBlood Lunarian Name : Nivritti Mahua (Nonattachment, An intoxicating flower) Origin : Indian Age : 19 Alliance : Noble Path : Warrior Appearance Skin Tone : Something complimentary to her hair and clothing Body Style : Based on India, she's shorter; around 5ft. Proportional bustline to a healthy/toned body. She has the average healthy body. (You can also use the references below) Hair Color/Style : purple (Hue that compliments clothing/skin) Long, and full Eye Color : complimentary (I'd like for the style to probably be the larger styled eyes.) No description should exceed 600 words. Clothing Description : This style: The skirt, top and scarf. This color/pattern: Make the top a little shorter to resemble the one from the other image. The scarf can be the same (Ends have a little decoration similar to that of the clothing) Shoes: (If needed: the middle strap thicker with a clear gem) Accessory Description : Ruby head jewel : Gold, placed like that (the gold is hooked in the hair) with one ruby Belly button: (If they have them) a ring that'll go: oo o () Obviously more aligned - the () = Ruby. The ruby should be piece all together, should bring the ruby slightly passed the belly button. Gold earings: small/medium sized. Golden Bangles: (Bracelets 3 each wrist) Necklace: Shorter then the top of the shirt, plan gold to match the bangles Unique Attributes : (Anything Unique About your Lunarian? Tell us. (looks wise))
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:04 pm
History
Nivritti was born to a happy family, living with her parents and grandparents. They ran a family business that was passed down from generation to generation. Horticulture and botany; helped the Mahua family have probably the most desirable plants in the area. They have a stall in the market place where they sell produce and flowers. And when Nivy was old enough she was taught the ways of the garden.
Entering school when she was younger, Nivy never really had many friends, for she was more quiet. She enjoyed working behind the scenes, and this started something interesting for her. She was often over looked, and would over hear conversations she shouldn’t have, and with that information Nivritti would pass it on, just to see what would happen… And over time, through trial and error she started to pick up the knack for causing some trouble. Teacher picked up on this as she hit her pre teen years, and was taken from school by her parents to start working on the gardens and be home schooled.
The market place was just like school, but Nivy learned how to keep herself out of trouble, and it seemed almost like a natural talent. As she got older, she would bargain information for things she or her family needed. At the stall itself Nivy was quite the sales woman, it was almost like she came out of her shell. With a bright smile, and friendly air about her when she interact with customers; she would make the sale. At this point, Nivy was a teen and learning the rest of the business because her parents were aging…
Nivritti was always a bit strange, and an oddball, and so some of her hobbies wouldn’t be much different. Word of some interesting movement came by, and Nivy decided to give it a try. With her physical strength from the family business, Parkour was pretty easy for her to pick up. It wasn’t overly popular and nor did she realize how important this hobby would become. Because to lift herself over 10 foot walls, and scale from ledge to ledge was just the beginning. Her parents questioned why she would come home so bruised and battered at times, but Nivy would just smile, and say she was playing.
With their daughter seemly well balanced, Nivy’s parents started to relax more, and back down from day to day activities allowing Nivritti to start her transition into the work force. All the while Nivritti’s parents were part of the cause. Like their parents they took the side of the Nobles in the war, and did whatever they could to help, and were some of the lucky few to still be unharmed. And they were leaving the war behind, for retirement in a second home in another town. They talked to Nivy about the Academy and Nivritti seemed rather eager to attend. Her parents partly blind to what had been going on.
Using her day to day live as a rouse Nivy expanded the business to deliveries and decorating locations for parties and other activities. Using these as opportunities to gain information from something, or something, and even pass messages along. In her spare time, Nivy became an information broker. She sold information to whoever paid the most. She herself was a Noble, because she wanted to see what else was out there. She had a passion and love for her gardens, and she did whatever she could to take care of the Mahua estates. But she didn’t fully agree to the manner that the Nobles took. Once her parents moved away, Nivy visited them from time to time, but spent most of it, gather and piecing together information.
It took her a while to get a good grasp on things, but she was now in full swing. She was forced into picking up a weapon because she landed herself in danger from time to time. She wasn’t very good with close range, and used her earlier hobby of parkour to her advantage. With her moonlighting the stall never suffered, and she still looked as pleasant sweet and innocent as ever too. And she was, she wasn’t cruel, evil or mean. She just did what she felt she needed too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:06 pm
Personality Observant- Having been a quiet girl for most of her life, she was never see as a threat, and easily over looked. So she often over heard conversations, and watched things others in a busy marketplace would miss. She also never felt like it was boring. She would get a stern talking too by her parents for 'day dreaming' and zoning out, when she happen to find more interest in watching the other Lunarians. Sweet- Having a happy childhood, and young adult life, there's no reason for Nivy to be upset. And it shows, she's always got a sweet smile, and she's helpful to others around her. It just happens that it helps her get where she needs to go, when getting information. She always thinks through to the end consequence, and she always tries for the best. But is willing to make sacrifices, because she wants to see the outside world and what it has to offer. Her parents kind of skipped out on some of life's lessons, since they weren't really right in front of them. She knows right from wrong, but she doesn't know to much about the birds and bees, or anything about love. Curious - Both good and bad, Nivy's curiosity is what got her into her information business in the first place. She really does enjoy learning new information of all kinds. But she simply uses it to make a profit in the end. Because she hears from both sides, she can put the pieces to the puzzle together. But It can also put her in those situations she would like to avoid. And has been there often. She's gotten caught by guards, and almost arrested. But she managed to get herself out. Oh what would her parents do if they knew? Un-Confrontational - Nivritti was never very aggressive. When confronted, she would rarely stand up for herself, and just smile, waiting until she could get away. Much like her flightly side, she feels this uncontrolled aspect, with confrontation that makes her nervous. As she ages/ the more confidence she gains she'll be able to stand her ground better. Because in her business, you're bound to bump into someone. She avoids causing problems the best she can but it doesn't always work. If she accidentally breaks something at another's shop, the owner gets in her face saying she has to pay... Nivy will free up and her heart races, panicking. Over time, and maybe with someones help, she can get over this hurled. And this becomes a problem when in fighting, because she's on the spot. To try and help her deal with this, she uses parkour to maneuver her way out of a sticky situation like getting cornered, and she fights from a distance, because it makes her feel safer. This might change over time, to adapt to better fighting. Unknowing - Having had a good stable life, when she'll meet others, she won't really be able to understand their hardships. She was always a "get it done" kind of girl, and expects that from everyone around her. She sees the hardship, but could never really understand it, because she was never there. And this could possibly drive a huge wedge between her and everyone else that has suffered. So in her daily life, she might not connect with someone as well, who might be bummed out, or struggling. When it comes to fighting, because she doesn't have much to loose, and only her ideals to fight for, she doesn't -need- to fight. She'll run away if she can. But she won't understand why someone might continue to pursue her. She won't understand why someone is willing to give up their life for this, and that can put her in a very dangerous position. Unique Attributes ❀Hobbies Horticulture/Botany: Having been raised by her family with their world centering around horticulture, Nivritti naturally grew to love it herself. She spent most of her childhood helping out, and thusly learned all about this world at a very early age. When she got home from school she would spend her time in the gardens, reading text book aloud to the flowers. She felt like the flowers were her only friends... Since she didn't have many friends. The Stall: When she was old enough too, Nivy started work at the stall in the market place with her parents. It wasn't long until she was running it alone. She made many 'friends' there, regulars that always shopped, the stall always looked busy. But word of the quality of flowers and vegetables quickly spread and she was asked to deliver to residents and businesses. She was asked to go to homes to arrange floral arrangements for gatherings of all kinds. Traceuse(The feminine term for someone that uses parkour): As a young teen Nivritti started practicing parkour. The basic rule is to overcome any obstacle in ones way by adapting their movements to the surroundings. Rather then going around, you use your body to get up and over the wall. It is a non-competitive, physical discipline of French origin in which participants run along a route, attempting to negotiate obstacles in the most efficient way possible. Nivy worked very hard at this, not having anyone to really teach her. She got cuts and bruises even broke bones sometimes, when falling from heights. But it was all worth it, she certainly wasn't perfect, but she was very good. Video Example
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:54 pm
Alliance Noble
- Never knowing what the civil war was until she got older, her alliance seemed to be easy to decide. She wanted to see the outside world, and see that they have to offer in terms of agriculture. What their flowers, vegetables and fruit looked like and tasted like. She doesn't really agree with the methods that are being taken, which is part of the reason she is an information broker. It also puts her in the middle of what's going on.
Path Warrior
- Nivy was raised with flowers and vegetables from day one. And falling into the moonlighting industry she has. She's a fighter because the mess is easier to handle, and she can ride under the radar better then she could if she was on the path of a priest.
Weapon
Daggers - Not so original, but Nivy needs something she can hide, thats small amongst her person. Nivritti isn't the most accomplished fighter, having no real training, aside from what she's practiced. She prefers distance fighting, and thusly using Parkour, she's able to put that distance between her and the other Lunarian. And from there she's likely to throw her daggers and fight that way.
Not being a very accomplished fighter Nivy lacks knowledge of type, when it comes to daggers. She handles a variety of sizes, though smaller ones are what she will typically use. She doesn't focus on one type, she uses metal handles, wooden handles, even some that are more decorative. As she ages, she'll start to pick up some tips, and hone her preferences into something more specified. But will remain nimble with the use of others.
So plain and simple is her current game plan. She doesn't need anything fancy, with designs because she's most likely going to loose it anyways when she throws them.
Her scarf also can work as a weapon. Most of the clothing she wears has this accessory to it. She can also use it as a mask to hide her appearance. Help her climb, or carry things, it's over all very useful.
Parkour - It, itself is not a weapon, but it aids her in use of her weapons. It gets her away from the danger, usually getting out of somewhere, or up something that, another can't do. It helping put that distance there, to let her throw her dangers or just plain get away. It's a very physically demanding hobby, and over the years has built up her endurance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:58 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:59 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 2:01 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 6:02 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 3:25 pm
First off, I love that you chose India as the basis for your character. Original and a gorgeous place. Very nice. <3
The description is nice and clean, easy to understand. Just one thing is that Lunarians are not usually "tanned." For example:
"Lunarians come with a variety of different colors of skin ranging from pinks to blues to greens. However, the majority of lunarians have yellow skin and turns orange to brown when tanned."
Brown would be your best bet, or anything that compliments her hair color. =)
As for her personality...it needs a little bit of work. A hint to make your quest better would be to take a look at the female Lunarians that are already in existence. 95% of them are strong-minded, strong-willed, deceitful women who do what they can to make their own lives better. You have somewhat of a stereotypical female here, with regard to her personality, and I would really like to see you break out and make her more unique, more original.
Her hobbies are pretty simple, but I am a little confused by "Traceuse." What exactly does this mean? Any chance that you could explain it a bit more clearly, or give an example of what you mean?
Again, her history is a bit stereotypical, with the "tragic background." Not that it's a bad thing, but it's been a tad overdone as of late. Her reasoning for joining the Nobles is perfectly fine, but I believe it also needs to be clarified a bit why she chose the path of a Legion.
I actually like that her weapon is as simple as daggers, but I'd like to see it expanded on a bit once you describe the other stages.
You have a really nice start, but just some things to consider / think about. I know you can make this into a great character with a bit more tweaking. =)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:26 pm
Okay, I went through and changed everything... The only thing though I seem to be a bit stuck on is the weapon. I'm not to sure what kind of detail you're looking for, for it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:38 am
Personality : its a good basis and nothing seems to contrast with anything else. For the fifth trait I would put a sinker flaw, since from what I read there is nothing really negative about her chatterer, she seems a little too perfect if that makes sense, a typical good character. She needs something to set her to be different.
Most Lunarians have lived very troubles and dramatic lives, they have huge shadows in there pasts as well as hardships. So someone who has lived a happy life would not be able to understand what people are going through, its just a idea but maybe a good place to start. She just needs some spice, some really raw emotion behind her. Logical is a good thing, but it also has its down sides you know.
I think you have said all you need about the weapon C: it makes sense and even though its not uncommon it works with her well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:47 am
I re-did the confrontational part of her personality, linking it up with her flighty one more.
and I added an unknowing part, that has her not understanding, like you said, and having a wedge possibly getting placed because everyone else has suffered but she hasn't.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:07 am
Decided to take off the Marking, until I've gotten some more crits~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:36 pm
-tries not to super-duper fail at giving a crit- OTL;;
I find your character's concept WOW, Luna. *U* <3
I think you've done a good job responding to previous points and I'd just like to pay forward a tip to improve one of the points you've addressed:
For her personality, I can see that you've been working on her flaws and making her less like the female majority according to past crits. ^^d I suggest you include a bit more info and/or examples to the description of the traits you've chosen as main contributors to weakness on how they physically, noticeably affect her living (actions, etc) in negative ways, routinely, in and out of battle.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 6:25 am
I addressed the things Shy brought up and I added onto her flaws about how this will affect her with fighting, and in her daily life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
