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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 9:35 am
Here's the script. Wah, wah, complain about lost chances. Here you are.
Umbrellas Amanda: March twenty-fourth. I finally got to the city. Unfortunately, the sky decided that it was a good idea to spit at me. I ducked into a store that looked nearly empty, to get out of the rain. There was one person in there. Gil: Excuse me, miss, but do you need any help?
Amanda: Oh – oh, no. I just came in here to get out of the rain. Um – I’m sorry, I’ll leave –
Gil: Hold on, it’s perfectly fine. It’s not like there’s anyone in here anyway.
Amanda: Oh. Thank you.
Gil: I suppose you don’t have an umbrella? [Amanda shakes her head.] Huh. The way it rains here, I thought that everyone had at least three.
Amanda: I just moved here. I didn’t really think that anywhere could be this rainy.
Gil: [Gil pulls an umbrella from behind the counter.] Here, you can use mine. Since you don’t have one of your own.
Amanda: Th-thank you so much! You’re too kind.
Gil: Not at all, miss.
Amanda: Please, call me Amanda.
Gil: Gilbert. Call me Gil.
Amanda: It was nice to meet you, Gil.
Gil: You too, Amanda.
Amanda: [Amanda turns and leaves the store.] I think he’s the one. March twenty-sixth. I went back to the store, to try and catch Gil and return the umbrella. He wasn’t there yesterday – just a red-haired woman with braids and a mole. But when I went again today, he was there.
Gil: My, my. If it isn’t Amanda. And with two umbrellas, this time?
Amanda: I came to return yours.
Gil: That was thoughtful of you.
Amanda: Thank you so much for lending it to me.
Gil: Well, it’s not like I could ignore the plight of a pretty woman, caught in the rain like you were.
Amanda: Oh, my.
Gil: [Pause.] My shift is about to end. If you’d llike, I can – can I treat you to lunch?
Amanda: I’d love that. We talked more than we ate. He’s – oh, he’s just perfect. He’s funny, he loves animals, he’s a swimmer, and… he has a nice smile.
Gil: No way! How did you not know that Elvis was blonde?
Amanda: He was not! You’re a liar.
Gil: I am not, and he was so! I’m telling you, he was naturally blonde. He dyed his hair. [Gil looks down at his watch. Then, startled and crestfallen.] s**t – it’s getting late.
Amanda: I’d better go, then. [Amanda starts to stand. Gil stops her, putting his hand on hers.] Gil: Wait – let me walk you to your car.
Amanda: And then…
Gil: I had a great time today.
Amanda: I did, too.
Gil: [Gil fumbles around in his pockets, and pulls out a piece of paper and a pen.] Let me give you my number. If you ever want to do something, just give me a call, and –
Amanda: I’d like that. [She pulls him in to a kiss. Use the umbrella to ‘hide’ from the audience?] April sixteenth. We went on a cruise – just a small one, not far off the coast.
Gil: It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it? The water’s so calm.
Amanda: [Amanda nods mutely, then clings to Gil.] It’s freezing, though! [Gil wraps his arms around her.]
Gil: We can go inside, if you’d like.
Amanda: [Amanda nods.] There was a couple’s dance. I asked him to go out on the floor with me. May thirtieth. I went over to Gil’s house today. He was washing his car, and we ended up in a water fight. Afterward, we went inside, dripping from head to toe.
Gil: [Gil comes in with a pair of towels.] Here you are, my worthy opponent.
Amanda: Your water is freezing.
Gil: Hose water tends to be like that. [Pause.] You’ll dry off more quickly if we put your clothes in the dryer…
Amanda: June first. Today, I woke up in a bed that wasn’t mine.
Gil: How do you like your eggs?
Amanda: July twenty-fourth. We went to see a movie.
Gil: Popcorn?
Amanda: September fourteenth.
Gil: [Gil gives Amanda a present.]
Amanda: November third.
Gil: [Gil gives her a key.]
Amanda: December twelfth. January thirty-first. February eighteen-
Gil: Amanda? Amanda! [Amanda turns to Gil.] Did you hear me? [Amanda shakes her head.] I said – I think we should see other people.
Amanda: I – what?
Gil: I can’t do this anymore, Amanda. I can’t keep –
Amanda: You’re leaving me?
Gil: Amanda, don’t do that. I’ve thought about this. I’m not going to change my mind.
Amanda: Gil, don’t –
Gil: I’ve – I’ve got to go.
Amanda: February eight – eighteenth. Gil – Gil left me. I need some time to think. February twenty-first. Gil is deluded. We were so happy – there must be something wrong. I have to find it… whatever it is. March third. I don’t understand. There’s no other woman, no secret life. Why did he try to leave? March tenth. I’ve been thinking about it. I’m going to make him mine again. We’ll be together, forever. March nineteenth. I took the umbrella – the one that brought us together. It can help us come together again. March twenty-fourth. He’s mine again. All mine… [She caresses the umbrella, and walks offstage. The police officer enters.]
Police Officer: March twenty-seventh, nineteen ninety-nine. Fifteen oh-four. I feel bad for the poor guy. Her motive – she says that she would be “with him forever”. [The officer turns and leaves – his back reads “Homicide Department”.]
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 9:45 am
Rom com gone wrong. ._.
I love it, though I imagine it'd be even better acted out. And that last part where he has the 'Homicide Dept' on his back, it seems like it'd make a better movie. Depending on where you are in the audience it might be hard to read, and that's a pretty crucial piece of information, though I love how it's delivered. You should go Indie and film this bizzniss. o:
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 5:18 pm
Amanda's insane! I call dibs on her part!
jk jk
I have dibs on police officer.
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 9:32 am
No wonder you got rejected. What a piece of literate s**t. I would have spit on it and set it on fire had you given to me. You suck, Snowy. Do humanity a favor and never write again.
It's uh...good.
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