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 Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 4:33 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 4:35 pm
Oh man, that is longer than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be pretty long... Well, I really hope I did everything correctly, and that you all aren't too annoyed that the second part doesn't have all the paragraphs broken apart. (I don't know how to indent on Gaia, short of hitting the spacebar multiple times, and I'm too lazy to go through that whole monstrous thing doing it. xp )
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 2:33 pm
Just hit space bar between every paragrahp and every dialogue. Easy as that!
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:12 pm
I know, it's just... That's a lot of spacebar-ing. >_>
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:27 pm
The prologue was very funny in the sense that you were playing with the language and even toying with the role and worth of the narrator. (if that makes sense!) Let's hope you can keep up with the tone in chapter one, which I shall get to in the long run. It works well for now but I wonder if you could really keep it up. Good luck.
Thumbs up 3nodding
PS: Stop being lazy and put spaces were spaces are needed. Come on now! twisted
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 4:12 pm
No! Must be lazy!
gonk I'll get around to it.. >_> Heh, right now I'm terribly busy with school.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:00 pm
Wow, I have to say, that was very enjoyable to read. You created a great story with interesting characters and humor that was just right. I like how you made everyday events seem not so everyday biggrin
Only thing was I felt the second world (the one with Wite) wasn't clearly a different world until very far into it. I thought he was just some guy in our world that walked around with knives to be honest. Maybe a bit more explanation of the world before talking about him would help to clear that up.
Very good job, I can't wait to read more!
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