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 Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 5:57 pm
A large branch gripped tightly in her jaws, with yet another being dragged by her tail, Chu'si hauled the broken tree limbs towards the edge of a beautiful meadow. Lowering her head, she carefully placed the branches on the ground, making sure not to crush any flowers with her work. Her eyes scanned over the rainbow of flowers that grew across the field, taking in their beauty as a soft breeze caused her braid to sway at her side.
Looking out she thought about how these lands were so unfamiliar, but she was going to have to call them home now that she had left her herd. Her eyes lowered, staring sadly at the grass as she examined the small insects scurrying about, going on with their lives while she thought of the family she had left. It was after having been around for several days that she had decided to look for a place to live, but she was unsatisfied with the bushes as a resting place, and had come to the conclusion she should just build some sort of shelter here, it was by far the most beautiful place she had seen in these lands so far.
At the moment she was in the process of gathering branches that had already broken off from the trees they came from, not wanting to injure the plants that many called home. She eyed the stack of wood and started to lean branches against each other, on her way to building a primitive hut for her to sleep in. She nudged branches together, a wilted flower still tucked in her braid as she began to set up her new home.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 2:07 pm
Sommer wanders up and down the boarder between the meadow and the deep forest. For days now his depression had grown deeper as his vision darkened. As many times before, he stops and looks into the bright meadow, hoping, maybe this time, it had gone away on it's own during the night.
In his right eye, the vision of the beautiful meadow was before him. The flowers bloom brightly, a rainbow on earth. The scent of mixed flowers fills his nose and he hears birds chirping, singing songs he's heard Robin whistle. The sun is bright, warm, and inviting.
But in his left eye, the scene is different. While all the elements remain the same, it is all in a rainbow blurr, as though someone had put a screen just over his left eye that made colours swirl and expand into large blobs. He could have lived with that. At least then he would have been able to see. But now those blurs of colour looked as though they were in the shadows of dusk. The bright sky was now dimmed as though the sun was setting. Even though the birds were still singing and the flowers smelled just as wonderful...he could no longer smell or hear them. The darkness that was creeping into his eye was slowly creeping into his soul as well.
At his feet, he sees a pine cone. A flash of anger bites him and stomps the pine cone under his hoof. Over and over again, crushing it till it's scattered pieces litter the ground in front of him. Exhaling and then inhaling deeply, he looks at the mess he's made on the ground and with his hoof, slowly starts moving all of the bits of pine cone into a small pile before him.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 2:24 pm
Chu'si let out a sigh, pausing in her work to examine what she'd done so far. The hut was coming along rather... poorly in her opinion, but it was far better than no hut at all, and despite it's primitive looks, to her it would become as lovely as any thicket or cave. Her hoof scuffed into the dirt, almost nervously as she wondered whether or not her home would be able to stand up to harsh winds or rain, but this was something that she wouldn't be able to find out into the weather was actually that harsh.
Her ears swiveled and her head jerked back as she heard the crackling sound of the pine cone being crushed, a frown appearing on her face as she thought of the life being destroyed and she gazed about searching for who had put the poor things light out. It wasn't long until she'd spotted Sommer, a bit farther along the border then she, but he didn't seem to be the cheerful young hart she knew.
Perhaps this time she would let it go that someone had destroyed a piece of nature, after all, Sommer seemed like he needed some warmth and kindness more than anything right now, not a scolding.
Yet another sigh escaped her as she trotted up to the hart, this one nearly silent as a breeze blew by. Her eyes were lowered as she approached him, eyeing the remnants of the pine cone before she raised them to look at him. His face was riddled with the unhappiness as she gazed silently upon it.
"Sommer... What is wrong?" She murmured, finally breaking her silence, her head at a slight tilt, worry clear on her face. How could someone be so sad in such a beautiful place?
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 2:38 pm
Sommer jerks back from the voice, very startled. He turns and sees that it is Chu'si and turns bright red, shame for having just stomped a pine cone into pieces, embarrasment that she had just seen him angry, and as always, a little shy from having such a beautiful doe in his company. His mouth opens and shuts a couple times, trying to think of a proper answer.
Uh..uh I..I...
He looks at the small pile of pine cone as his hooves.
I'm sorry Chu'si I didn't realize I had...
He keeps his head down, he cannot face her, he knows it's a bald face lie that didn't know the pine cone was under his hoof. The sound that it had made was a satisfying crunching noise that had appeased his anger. Unable to say anything more, he paws at the earth with his hoof, making a little hole, and then with his nose, leans down and nudges the pine bites into the hole. Pawing again, he pushes the dirt back into the the small hole and gives the ground a hard hoof stomp to properly pack in the "grave". His head remains lowered, hanging in shame and depression.
I'm sorry...
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 2:55 pm
Chu'si frowned, glancing away while he buried the broken pine cone, her mouth shut in a tight line as she tried not to say something that would make him feel worse when it seemed that he was sad already. He had destroyed that seeds chance at life, but there were times when even she had taken out her frustration and anger out on something that wouldn't stand a chance, perhaps he had a similar reason? She took a deep breath, calming herself before finally turning back to face him.
"Do not apologize to me Sommer, I'm not the one who you killed..." She lowered her head, nosing at the dirt where he had buried the pine cone, murmuring a quick prayer.
"Now," she lifted her head back up to face him, searching his face for the answer, "would you like to tell me what that pine cone died for?" A sad smile appeared on her face as she spoke, "What has got you so upset?" She asked quietly, shifting so her tail could gently tap the bottom of his chin.
"Look up, I will try my best to listen and help, but I cannot do it with you staring at the ground like that."
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 3:37 pm
Sommer makes a slightly pained sound at the idea of killing the pine cone. He mouths I'm sorry, Je suis désolé, the ground and sees that a drop of water has wet the soil on the tiny grave. He looks up to see if it's rain, but can see the sky is clear. A tickling sensation flows down his cheek. Realizing he is shedding tears, he quickly turns his head from Chu'si and clears his throat, hoping his voice won't give away the rain falling from his eyes.
I uh..am just...fruztrated.
He struggles to put together words that sound truthful yet hide his deeper pains. He didn't want to bemoan his fate to Chu'si and he couldn't properly explain the feelings inside him. He still had no idea why he felt the way he did and explaining it to another would be difficult.
Do not show her your pain, that is ungentlemanly and against your pride as a man! Get yourself together and change the topic before you burst into tears like a girl and humiliate us both.
His gaurdian Alexei whispers this to him in a scolding tone. Sommer sucks in a deep breath and puts out a more cheerful tone.
It iz not zat bad. I am juzt, how my mothzer putz it, having one of zose dayz.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 4:02 pm
Chu'si smiled, watching him apologize to the earth, she beamed happy that he cared about the plant life around him. "I am glad you regret what you've done," She murmured, watching him. "Plants are unable to protect themselves, so you should be careful around them," she said quietly, her head nodding slowly.
"What is it that has made you frustrated, my dear Sommer? What could make you so ... sad?" She frowned, her grin replaced by a look of worry once again and she leaned towards him, nosing at his side. "We are in a beautiful place, it should bring happiness, not... this?"
Her tail swished from side to side agitatedly as she heard his reply, anger replacing the concern. "Just one of those days? You killed a poor plant just because you were having one of those days?" She peered at him angrily, "Look at me, you owe me at least that for making me feel like a fool for worrying about you."
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 4:15 pm
Sommer visibly shutters at her angry tone. Sometimes it didn't pay to listen to his guardian and this was clearly one of those times. Inwardly he curses Alexei, who seems disquieted by the reaction Chu'si has shown.
Heaving a great sigh, he turns, raises his head and faces the doe. The coat on his cheeks have darkened tracks where tears flowed. He clears his throat.
I juzt did not want you to see me shed tearz. My guardian sayz zat to show weaknezz iz not manly, ezpecally in front of a lady. But sometimez he iz wrong in hiz advice.
Sommer bows his head low.
Please forgive me Chu'zi. I..
His voice catches in his throat. He swollows hard.
I didn't mean any of it.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 4:37 pm
Chu'si's frown deepened as she noticed the tear stains on his fur and she carefully licked one of his cheeks, tasting the hart's salty tears. Guilt welled within her as she watched him.
"Oh Sommer, I'm sorry..." She sighed, nosing at his cheek "What is it that would make such a kind hart feel so bad?"
Her right ear flicked at the comment about his guardian's advice and she stifled a snort. "When you feel happy you show it, right? Then when you feel sad or angry you should show it as well, how else will anyone know and how will you be able to feel happy again if you don't?" She looked away, chuckling quietly, "Showing emotion, especially sadness is no weakness, but a great strength. Being able to show your feelings to others, especially tears, requires bravery... Besides, I'm no lady."
She turned back to him at the break in his voice, worried that she'd made things worse. "Sommer you do not need my forgiveness, you've done nothing wrong."
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 4:59 pm
Oui, I did. I made you angry, and I never wanted to do zat. And dizpite what you zink, you are a lady. To me anyway...
Sommer clears his throat again.
I uh, I am feeling a lot of conflicting zings. Many zings I do not even underztand why I am feeling zem. It iz very confuzing to me and I do not zink zere iz anyone who would really underztand me. So I have been bottling zese feelingz up and trying to how I usually am. But zat iz not helping. Zometimez ze feelingz well up so much zat I feel zat I shall do something bad and I juzt....
He looks down guiltily at the small grave, and a thought hits him.
Hey..Chu'zi, do you zink zat ze tree zat I hit felt pain too..?
This idea seemed to just occur to him as he contemplated a little more seriously the idea that "life" wasn't something that just harts and animals and minons had. His mother had instilled him a deep respect for the life after telling him how close to death the herd they came from was. He began to feel guilty that the tree he had hit during his act of "protection" and "heroism" might have felt pain.
His guardian scoffs at this idea but keeps his mouth closed. He had already gotten Sommer into enough trouble for today.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 5:16 pm
Chu'si chuckled, smiling at him, glad for his honesty. "Do not worry about it, I anger easily anyways," she chortled, casting a glance at the badly made hut she was in the process of building. "I'm sure if you hang around me more, you won't think I'm a lady either," she laughed.
As she spoke of his problems she quieted, sitting down and nodding thoughtfully. "I think the conflicting feelings and such... they are all a part of growing up, they will pass soon enough. But, bottling things up is never a good idea, it just makes you feel worse, doesn't it?"
She followed his line of sight to the place where he'd buried the pine cone and she looked back up at him with a smile at his question. "I'm sure it felt pain, but judging by your scar, it didn't feel nearly as much as you." She chuckled, gazing at him, "Trees, unlike pine cones and acorns, are much stronger, but I think you already know this and have learned not to go head butting trees anymore." A quiet giggle escaped her as the thought of Sommer trying to fight a tree entered her head, clearly the tree had won.
"And Sommer, if you ever feel bad or need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to come to me." She craned her neck, murmuring a prayer of thanks and apology before she plucked a nearby flower, tucking it behind Sommer's ear.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 5:48 pm
Sommer flushes brightly and paws at the ground.
It iz not az if I waz going to fight ze tree in ze first place. Ze tree waz a byztandard really. Ah but you do not know how I got ze scar in ze first place oui?
He recalls the tale to her, about the rumors of the scary, angry adult bullying fawns and yearlings, about running into the adult seemingly about to hurt Dunixi and Flora and charging into him in a attempt to ward him off his friends.
After ze firzt hit, ze ground waz a bit loopy. I should not have gone in for anothzer shot but ze adult he had non gone away and I thought zat if I give him one more puzh zat he would go. But when I saw him, zere were 2 or 3 of him and I picked ze wrong one to charge into and inztead, zere was a tree and not a adult.
He sighs.
In ze begining I felt brave for what I did. I was trying to help ze friendz I had. But later, after I was recovering, I heard zat ze adult was actually Dunixi's fathzer and zat zere was no real danger. I felt very stupid for what I did and I was willing to take ze scar and one eye damaged az a reminder to never do something so razh before knowing ze whole situation. But...
He trails off, still pawing the ground.
But now I feel foolizh. And alzo, I feel...
-he pauses, searching for the words-
uncared for...it iz hard to dezcribe what I mean...I put my life on ze line for two of my friendz and now it iz like, it did not make a differenze or dozen't even matter zat I did zis!
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 6:06 pm
Chu'si felt warmed as she listened to him tell his story and share how he felt. She kept quiet as he spoke, feeling proud to know such a kind hart. Thinking of a response, she paced in a small circle around him, a snarl building within her as she thought about the adult he had mentioned, but the feeling disappeared as he mentioned that he felt his friends didn't care, and sadness for him grew within her once again.
"No, I wasn't really familiar with the story behind your accident, but I'm glad that you have told me, not that I thought you'd be the type to purposely fight a tree." The small smile flickered to life on her face again, though tainted a bit by her feelings of compassion for this hart. "You are very brave Sommer, never forget that and never regret what you did, for you did what you thought was right and that is something you should never lament. What if that adult wasn't your friend's parent? If you hadn't taken action and just sat there... things could've gotten bad, correct?"
Chu'si nudged Sommer playfully, an attempt to cheer him up. "I'm sure if you were to tell your friends this, they would apologize for making you feel bad and tell you that it is not so, that they are very grateful that you tried to protect them." She chortled, giving him a wink, "perhaps they will even tell you that you are their knight in shining armor, bravely sacrificing yourself to protect others. Even if they don't tell you this, you should feel good about yourself, not many would willingly do such a thing."
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 6:26 pm
He considers her words and feels a little sense of peace in him but that little bit of good feeling was in danger of being swollowed whole by the monsters of anger, bitterness, and regret.
Oui but..
A spark of anger flashes in his eyes.
I zought zat I could accept zis and zen, all of a sudden zis hart appearz. Hiz name is Adoniz, and he startz to saying to Flora, all of zese zings about protecting her and othzerz, and being noble and brave. And I do not know why but suddenly I got so angry. What iz he to say all of zese thingz he knowz nothzing of??
He snorts and rears for a moment, the memory stoking a flare of anger inside him.
I have done zese zingz he talks so highly of and haz he seen ze consiquenzez of it? My scar, my vision, all of zese I have sacrificed in ze name of honor and bravery and protection. Non, he trotz around az if he underztandz it all from someone telling it to him!
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 6:43 pm
Chu'si blinked, a bit startled by the sudden change in Sommer's mood. She took a step back to make sure she didn't get in the way of his hooves, the look of displeasure returning to her face as well as slight worry that he might hurt himself or others in his anger.
"Sommer, perhaps you should just let this Adonis make his own mistakes and find out for himself? Or you could always advise him that he should be not saying such things when he is inexperienced, but do it in a way that won't make him think you challenging him."
She chuckled, bumping her hip against him, "You don't know why you got angry?" She raised an eyebrow, not believing him. "Jealousy is a scary thing Sommer, did you dislike that he was getting the attention you felt you deserved or was it something else? Regardless though, don't let it take control of you, I wouldn't want you to get hurt worse than you've already been just because you did something rash."
She murmured, taking a step to nose his cheek again, "Keep doing what you think is right and don't get too upset, this hart is clearly just trying to show off, and from what you've told me, he hasn't proven himself yet. Maybe he really will protect someone, maybe he'll get injured like you and find out that all that talk was just that, talk." Sitting down, she looked up at him, "Don't let it get to you, I'd hate if my favorite hart was consumed by jealousy and became an ugly thing."
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